Today's #Scifi #fantasy short story #ElvenCourt

“I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am.”

The Iron Chef*

      Well this weekend is going to be action packed, I'm having a friend come over today and then have my main BFF come over the rest of the weekend. (Wow, my definition of action-packed can be fairly underwhelming at times...) Anyway, enjoy the flash fiction!

Elven Court

      “Angelina...if you embarrass us you'll be grounded for a month. Understand?” My father with a stern look.

       “Yes Dad.” I mumbled.

        His look became solemn. “Angelina...I know I normally tell you that you shouldn't care about what other people think but this is an exception. There's a reason we've polished your scales. We're going to go appear in front of our Elvish King. This is very, very important. I've been training you for a year in etiquette for a reason. I'm going to give him a proposal for more land for our village. If we don't look good...he may deny it too us and we'll be in a lot of trouble. This is bigger than us. Appealing to a King of a different elvish land couldn't possibly work, this is our only chance. ”

       “I understand Dad.”

       Dad, Mom and I went into the court. There were so many people. We were the first proposal, which made everything even worse. I didn't have any examples to go off of besides what Dad told me and my etiquette teacher. My parents couldn't even be examples...in elvish court children had to behave different than adults.

       The room went silent. I was so nervous. The king sat in his throne. The throne had an elegant table with wonderful food on it. The rest of the court ate at other tables spread throughout the room. Anyone proposing knelt on the floor in front of the king. The kneeling the position was awkward and was different for each gender and age group.

       “So what are you requesting of me?” His voice had a dominate tone...but it wasn't too aggressive. He sat a little slumped but didn't glare. He stopped eating to speak with us and gave us great attention. I had mixed feelings...he knows we're commoners right? Shouldn't he be looking more down upon us?

       “Great King we need more land to farm. We are having difficulty supporting ourselves with just our current plots of land.” My father lowered his head but also shot a glare at me. I lowered my head as well. I had forgotten that after the request I should have done that. My mother doing it should have been a cue too. I felt so stupid.

       The king sighed. “What land do you desire specifically?”

        My father choked up nervously. “Some of the old hunting grounds. As the forest had been largely harvested we thought we might clear it completely and convert it to farmland and hope to plant some crops.”

The king laughed. “You do realize that those are my personal hunting grounds? I may give things to my people upon reasonable request but since those grounds are so deforested I have used them only for my pleasure. If they only have a few deer...those deer shall be mine. Though truth be told it is not the hunting that hesitate to give you your request...I think you might be scamming me.”

       My father began to sweat. “What?” He said to the king while still keeping his head bowed.

       “I give so many things to my people...an oddity for any king, that several people have scammed me.        Land is the most common. I am still recovering from my anger from my last scam that I am afraid of fulfilling your request. I don't want to give a thief the littlest bit of land. How do I know your not lying?”

I grew nervous. If the king wouldn't grant our request how would we feed ourselves? We may last but I would feel hungry with low food and just wear away. The kneeling position became more awkward. It wasn't just sitting on your knee. You put your leg over your arm and your arm is what it the floor. Then your other leg went under that leg with that your next arm on that one. It's very hard to describe if you could even imagine what I just said.

I teetered over and fell. I splayed out on the floor like a dead frog.

        The king smiled. “I think I know how to figure out if your lying. Girl, describe the situation at your village.”

        “A-alright.” I responded. I looked over at Dad. I expected him to look angry. But he looked afraid. Very afraid. But he tried to give me a comforting smile on his fearful expression. “Um, Uncle Sam's Strawberry crop is doing okay. We've had to stuff our potato crops on as little land as possible. We tore down a house to get more land because it was next to a plot. Wheat's the only thing doing well. While everything else is really cramped.”

        The king smiled. “Now I believe you. A scam artist would have come up with have come up with a much more eloquent story. At least the last one did. I suppose with all the court as witnesses the next one will try to emulate you...ugh...now I won't be able to tell at all. Anyway, your request will be granted. Now you two get out of those awkward kneeling positions, I've always thought they looked stupid, tradition gives us the weirdest customs I say, and let's eat.”

          And so we did enjoy our dinner at the court and got our land. We cleared the forest and made more farms. Our village prospered and all that. Though the king did visit and checked that we actually made farms and checked our stories out. Apparently if we did actually scam him we would have been executed. How much did the last person scam him for anyway to make him so angry I wonder?

Today's #Scifi #fantasy flash fiction #TheCupidsAssignment

“What are we going to do tonight Brain?

Why the same thing we do every night Pinky...try to take over the world!”

United States Congress*

Today I watched some of the live interview between Bill Nye the Science Guy and one of the astronauts on the space station. I wasn't too intriquged by some of the experiments they were doing until I learned about them sending jumping spiders into space for them to see if they could hunt. That's right. Jumping spiders in space. I thought, “In space, no one can hear the fruit flies scream.” Apparently the spiders succeeded and is successfully hunting in its little cage thing as they put fruit flies in there with it its box. So yeah, the spider adapted to hunting on the space station with the astronauts. I don't remember what the spider's name was but I'm calling it Space-Killer

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Now here's something for bloggers, there's a referring URL scam it seems. Many of those are from websites looking at you randomly, wanting you to be curious about them so you click on them and give them traffic, or even better post them as a traffic source publicly. Some of them even being “adult content” sites. I've read about it in a few places. So it's important that you don't click on all your referring URLs, many of them are just automated programs trying to get you to go to them or even worse post them on other places(some of them being inappropriate sites). They are really fake views too. I even did the math with my own referring URLs. Taking out all referring URLs as hits and only looking at direct views from computers it still looks that 95% of views to my site are completely legitimate but its still sad some are fake, but it's still sad I've got some fake ones. Be sure not to look at these URLs or let them mess up your own stats. I read that they usually stop hitting you if you don't look. This trick explains why I had that weird apartment website as a referring URL all that time ago. I also figured a good trick is to look up things by not looking directly at them by checking out these sites by using wikipedia so they aren't viewed so you can figure them out without giving them any traffic.

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Anyway after all that onto the flash fiction!

The Cupid's Assignment

        I can't mess this up. Sure time is frozen in the mortal world, and I've plenty of time to work, but no matter how much time I take...if I screw up...I screw up. This boy and girl are in the middle of their first kiss. It's oh so very romantic. My boss told me they'll break up yes. They are not destined for each other but this has to feel like true love to them for awhile so that after the break up in the future they will seek out true love again and find their true partners later.

       I'm a cupid a fairy that creates the love for humans. Yeah, humans say there's one Cupid. No, not really. Do you think one guy could do the job. And we don't have people fall in love. We craft the love for them. I have to make the love for these two. That's why it's so vital I don't mess up. Their fate is in my hands. I'll make their feelings for each other. Worst yet this is the first time I've done this. I did plenty good in training...but this is my first time in the field.

        Now love is a strange entity you see. There are so many types it would take me years to explain them all. They haven't quite reached it being at the teen crush stage. But after this kiss they should enter it. This will be the love at first sight, but more the love at first kiss. I suppose then I should foundation this love with a physical element. Though if I am to make this a “true love” as assigned wouldn't that go against my mission? Well the objective is to make it end eventually so they may seek out a true love again but with a different person. So perhaps I will spark this love initially with a physical injection with this kiss.

        Love is an evolving creature whose stabilization into a “happily ever after” is a rare event. This is often considered an accomplishment for cupids. But for this situation this is not even what I am aiming for. I will use this kiss to spark a physical element...but I will have the physical elements peter to an end towards the relationship. Yes, as the physical element wears it will tear away at the relationship destabilization the love...but not too much.

        More importantly I must now focus on the abstract element. During this kiss I will have them think of many happy memories through many subconscious connections triggered by smells, looks and other sensations. (Yes smells, memory works like that, this is why how you smell is important! Do be careful with your perfume and cologne people...I have a job to do.) This will begin an emotional attachment. With a positive connotation with their own pasts they will then build their own relationship with the other person.    Though eventually I will make their love evolve to the point that it will be so inflated to the need to be satisfied by sentimental moments that without them it won't hold on it's own. And since physical sensation are also attached to sentiment it will stack with the previous strain I have planned.

       Now this decay will be set up to be a slow bubble towards the end. I think it will collapse, but will be at a reasonable enough speed that they will feel a wonderful love. They will seek more love, but not try to renew that old relationship. This love I have created will feel like a “true love” appearing both to be physical and sentimental but won't be collapsing on its end. I think it will be different enough that the next cupid will be able to create a true love each of them to give them the happiest end lives for them.

     I think I won't screw this up. Now to craft this love with my magic and to unfreeze time. Wish me luck.

Today's #Scifi #fantasy short story #TheDragonChatroom

“Pretty fishy what happened to me on that ladder. You mean, where there's a fish, there could be a Penguin. But wait! It happened at sea! See? "C" for Catwoman! Yet — that exploding shark was pulling my leg! The Joker! It all adds up to a sinister riddle... Riddle-er. Riddler?”

Sherlock Holmes speaking to Watson, A Study in Scarlet*

Spoke with my dietician today. Also learned I lost ten pounds on my diet over this last two weeks or so. Makes sense when fat is my source of energy now. Though I should be eating more fats and not losing so much. The purpose of my diet is to assist with my seizures, not to lose weight, even though it is an expected side effect. Anyway, onto the flash fiction!

The Dragon Chatroom

RedScalez Entered the Chatroom

BlackeztWings Entered the Chatroom

BlackeztWings: So how are you doing?

RedScalez: Fine. A Cart passed through town. Bought some Hs

BlackeztWings: Sweet. How many?

RedScalez: 8.

BlackeztWings: You're Dad can buy you as many as he wants can he. Wasn't it like twelve last week?

RedScalez: Yeah. But I'm not eating them all.

BlackeztWings: You're not?

RedScalez: Nope. I'm keeping four.

BlackeztWings: Now hey, you've seen those H hoarder shows on TV. You should eat them, not collect them.

RedScalez: No, I'll keep it at four. I ate all the others. I fixed the Hs I'm keeping so they won't breed.

BlackeztWings: Alright...but don't say I didn't warn you when you have one hundred of those Hs all over the house. If your going to buy Hs you should just eat them, not keep them. That's what dragon's are supposed to do.

RedScalez: Hey, I'll be reasonable with the humans I get. And I'll eat any more I buy, I promise.

Today's #Scifi #fantasy short story #TheRecycledApocalypse

“Remember to look both ways before crossing the street.”

Confucius*

Today I wrote as usual. However while in my house I ran into a random encounter in the kitchen. It was against a zombie. When I defeated it I got 200 EXP. I then leveled up. I got +1 Strength, +2 Agility, +3 Intelligence, and +1 Charisma. I don't really feel too much stronger or faster but I do think I have a greater grasp of higher mathematical concepts from the intelligence boost. Maybe the charisma boost will also help me with the ladies. When leveling I also got the the skill Greater Flatulence.

        Anyway, onto the flash fiction!

The Recycled Apocalypse

       You build everything out of the Byproduct. It's all around you. It's shiny and gray. You can change how solid it is by stirring it. You can preserve food with it. It protects you from heat and cold if you cover your skin with it. If you eat it it can not only fill your belly but cure diseases. There are so many uses for it I could hardly count them all. It's a vital resource of society, almost as vital as water. At least it is now in this year of 4024. Well, that's what the year is supposed to be. With most old records destroyed, scholars debate.

       Among the legends the tales go like this. Our ancestors built and built the most elaborate society with technological wonders beyond our comprehension. But these technologies came with garbage and waste and over the centuries it became too much for them. So they created something to consume it all. A “bacteria”. And when it consumed the waste it left behind the Byproduct. I don't know exactly what a bacteria is but apparently it can be many things, not only this great consumer.

       But the consumer didn't just consume the garbage, it consumed every city and all the technologies, just leaving behind the Byproduct. This was because all those cities were made of the same materials the garbage was. Our ancestors thought they could control the bacteria, but it escaped, despite their effort.

So now we have our world. A world of the Byproduct and nature alongside it. We even write with it. The most we use of the only way is paper and we write on it by smearing the Byproduct. I wonder how much our ancestors built over the centuries to make so much Byproduct to last so many generations. We use some of the old knowledge and make wooden things and stone. But many metals are gone and the scholars claim that bacteria is still making Byproduct in the Earth, slowly eating the metals that are made that could have been used for their technologies.

       I want to live in that old world. No matter how great our Byproduct is...if it is merely something that came from the garbage of the technology...what I have missed. I've heard of the ability to fly, things you can ride to hundreds of miles an hours, the power to talk to people across oceans, the ability to control things in worlds that don't exist. So many things in the legends. I wonder about that world. It's such fantasy. I kept calling our history legends because I don't think that it's the history the scholars talk about exist. I think the Byproduct is just the same thing as dirt and such a technologies couldn't exist. But if they did I really wish I could leave the Byproduct behind and go to the world of the ancestors.

Today's short story #TheCalendarSpirit

“Hi Ho Hi Ho , Its Off To Work We Go!!”

The A-Team*

Today I...read a comic book! Plus I ate leftover spagetti. My life is as action packed as a super spy! James Bond has nothing on me eh? Bit of difficulty coming up with something good so I'm posting one of my old backup stories. So yeah the format's a bit different because it's copy pasted from an old document. But still, enjoy!

The Calendar Spirit

          Spirits dwell in all things. There are Tree Spirits, Cloud Spirits, River Spirits, Mountain Spirits, House Spirits, and so many others. I am one of the lesser known type of spirits, I am a Calendar Spirit. I live within calendars and I embody the very essence of them. I am master of day-to-day planning, important dates, and of course holiday notices.

        On one particular day I did something quite daring. During my jaunt through a swimsuit calendar, I do love those by the way, I decided to do something mischievous. Using my Calendar magic I erased everything on every calendar in the world at once. It was unheard of for a spirit to do something they were not supposed to. The chaos that ensued after my actions would be talked about for eons in the spirit world.

        The most immediate changes were a total economic collapse. All at once thousands of businessmen were unable to make their meetings. Millions of people failed to come to work at the right time. But my mischief did much more than hurt a few hundred thousand businesses. People died too, doctors failed to give the right medicines, appointments were missed, and life saving surgeries were never performed. The mass confusing caused by a loss of schedule ravaged the world. Spirits are usually quite bored having to just sit inside their homes all day. Doing this was so hilarious, seeing the humans squirm just gave me giggles. That was the greatest Friday night of my life. Of course the best part is the humans didn’t even know it was Friday!

       Of course it wasn’t long before the other spirits caught onto my shenanigans. It wasn’t long before the Police Badge spirits were knocking on my door. In only a few more moments I stood before the Gavel Spirit. He passed judgment upon me. I would be become an asteroid spirit and be forced to drift the cosmos forever for my crimes. I laughed as they locked me inside the asteroid. Didn’t they think of the fact they just gave me permission to ram myself straight into Earth? Looks like I’ll be having more fun with the humans again soon.

Today's #Scifi #fantasy short story #BeneficialPunishment

“Do they speak English in What?”

Dora the Explorer*

Today I went to the bookstore with the parents as well as going to Red Lobster...mmm Lobster. I also worked on my books naturally, and wrote a flash fiction I hope you enjoy!

Beneficial Punishment

     In the lands of Yakuit execution and prison time was a waste. In Yakuit punishment for criminals would only take thirty minutes at most. And also it would serve the country. It would cause the criminal incredible pain and possibly even death, but it had come to pass that the punishment fit the crime. But when times were harsher what “fit the crime” would change.

       This was because Yakuit was a land of magic. Though magic had to be harvested by taking the life force from people and society could only justify it by taking it from criminals. That is why when times were harsh and wizards needed magic the most to serve the people, the punishments for crimes would be harsher. But still, a smaller crime would take less life force than a greater one.

      The process of taking life force involved first tying the victim down. Well, as much as a victim a criminal could be called. Then a wizard would take one of the magical orbs used to harvest energy and place it to the person's heart. Any other body part and nothing would happen. That is how the wizard was safe while the criminal would have his life force drained. Though the wizard was only safe mentally.

      The wizard still had to watch the victim squirm, writhe and scream. Even with gags some screams could be heard. Wrinkles could be seen as years of life would be taken. But the rational was that they would simply lose the same amount of years in prison. Red fog came out of the victims eyes. This was the soul emitting negative life force and wizards would have to wear protection over their own face just so they wouldn't fall ill from breathing in much themselves. Enough exposure could lead them to insanity.

       But justice was justice. And when there was a drought the wizards just needed to go to the court houses and take the orbs full of life force and use their energy to bring rain to the land. But as the crops grew people would know why they could have them. They knew that thievery and murder brought bread to their table. But to them that's how the world worked and if there must be crime at least let it feed them.

This work is copyright Langdon Kennedy you may share this(email it, print it, post it on your own website, broadcast it etc.) work unaltered as long as you credit me as the author and share a link to this blog with it and it is not for profit. If you have any questions and/or are unclear of these conditions email me at llkenne1@asu.edu

Today's #Scifi #fantasy short story #OfDragonsAndProfit

"They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge... Me. "

The Lone Ranger*

      Today Grandma came over and we had Spagetti. Being mother's home made Spagetti it was delicious. Mmmmm...Spagetti. Though as I go deeper into the Atkins diet we're going to have to make our own custom noodles for us/ do this thing called Spagetti Squash. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Of Dragons And Profit

       “You monster!” The dragon roared.

        I smiled. “Aw, shucks you flatter me.”

        “Why are you doing this?” He cried. I didn't know they could. Tears ran down his scales. All the way down from those glossy eyes, along that long neck, and onto the ground the below. His red scales glowed when tears passed them by. His wings twitched. I assumed it was from the pain of all the holes I put in them. I think he hesitated to attack so I would begin firing off my shotgun again. He knew I was a quicker shot then him gurgling up his fire breath.

        “It's all for the money you stupid reptile.” I laughed. “Don't you know how much your scales are worth? I could make ten thousand just from what I scrapped from your neighbors.” I wondered how stupid this animal was.

         “I know that...but can't you make money other ways. I've seen you humans. I've seen the buisness men that sell the couches, books, tables, and even those toys that hook up to those televisions and make the moving men. I've seen the people making a kind living working honest labor. I've even seen little girls of your species selling cookies for a profit while you...risk your life killing my kind. How does that make sense while someone can kill no one and make so much more than you and harm no one? Your own scientists have proven we have brains with the exact same structure yet you do not hesitate? Though even ignoring the moral angle what of the risk/reward. Is the risk of prison and death while fighting my people worth the meager profit of the scales against what the executives make while they just sell toys to children?”

         “I'm just a farmer!” I yelled at the dragon.

Now the dragon laughed at me.

         “What's so funny you miserable beast? Want a face full of lead?” I glared at him.

         “I raise my children, send them to school, we have governments and countries, and I am even having a conversation with you. And you are comparing me to a cow?”

         “Shut up you stupid animal. It's about time I kill you and harvest your scales!” Just then I felt an intense pain in back as I began to burn up in flame. I dropped my shotgun. I turned around to see another dragon similar to the other. I rolled on the ground and managed to put myself out at the dragon's feet but I could hardly move. Unlike the other dragon, this dragon spoke with an angry roar.

         “Here's something to think about human. Are cows smart enough to plan something like this? A burnt back is what you get for killing our neighbors and death is what you get for everyone else you have killed. Now I'm going to put as many holes in your body that you put in my brothers wings!” The dragon raised his claws and ran them into me.

        Author Comment: “Of Dragons and Profit” I put "of" at the start of my title, messing with grammar and making my title cooler! Aren't I edgy? Woot!