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Friday, December 2, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Consequences Of Learning It Was All A Dream

“They mutated the dinosaur genetic code and blended it with that of a frog's. Now, some West African frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex environment. Malcolm was right. Look. Life found a way.
Barney and Friends*


CJ should be coming over tomorrow. That should be a bucket of fun. Unless we run out of buckets. Then again we could run over to The Crazed Squid's Extreme Discount Bucket Emporium. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Consequences of Learning It Was All A Dream

          When a story ends with “It was all just a dream” it often forgets to mention the most important part. What happens when the person realizes this? The after effects on them. They don't cover this. I woke up from a several year coma recently. A coma after a car accident, and that when I was in my coma-dream, I thought I survived. My brain made time pass more slowly in my mind. So months in a coma became many, many years. So when I woke up I learned that thirty years of my “life” became instantly revealed to be a lie made up in a dream.
         Thirty years that started with a war that my brain made up. A war where I became a solider. A war where I started out a hero. Then I abused my power along with other soldiers. We took advantage of other people. We did whatever we pleased to them.
         I didn't go mad from later regret and trauma, spending the rest of my life repenting, only living free because I turned in some traitors I later worked with to gain even more by taking advantage of my own country and the one I was attacking. All those years giving accounts of the horrors of war to the nation weren't real. The horrors weren't real and the war wasn't real.
          And originally the scenario I constructed was that other soldiers convinced me to start taking advantage of those people and do all those horrible things to them. But no. When I woke up and learned it was all a dream, I learned that my brain chose to make all those scenarios exist. The real world didn't make all those horrors exist. My subconscious did. I wasn't dragged into a war, I made the war. I would have preferred to have stayed in my coma as the man repenting for his crimes than waking up knowing that it was a dream all along and that I made them exist.
         This terrible realization did give me a second chance. Lucky circumstances shortly after me waking up made me run across a great deal of money and power. So lucky you wouldn't believe them. So just like in the war in my dream I have the power to take advantage of people again.
         This time it can't all be a dream. I know I can't reset. Or maybe I am wrong and I'm still dreaming? Does that mean I can do it all again? Or should do it all again whether or not waking up can get rid of all my sins?

        I wonder if my soul is the same in the real world?  

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Little Miss Fairy

“Drink responsibly.”
Dionysus* #quote


What did the dentist say to his kids after telling them the tale of the tortoise and the hare? He said, “What's the molar of this story?” Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Little Miss Fairy


Little Miss Fairy
Sat on a cherry
Eating some seeds and sugar

Along came a centaur
Who sat down beside her

And frightened Miss Fairy away

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Bigsy-Bitsy Spider

“Keep it simple.”
Rube Goldberg* #quote

CJ's going to be coming over this weekend so that'll be a round of fun on the house. Or a disaster if fun provisions are depleted due to unexpected celebrity cameos. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


The Bigsy-Bitsy Spider


The Bigsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the skyscraper
Down came planes
And shot the spider down
Out came the rain
And made the planes land.
And the Bigsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the skyscraper again  

Monday, November 28, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Sacrificial Ritual

 “I'm a flexible guy.”
Gumby* #quote


Cyber Monday is the digital Black Friday. But really if they wanted to make it feel just like Black Friday everyone's Internet connection needs to slow down to a crawl so that you get that waiting in line experience. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Sacrificial Ritual

          The necromancers are wizards of the darkest of magic. They have a fuel for their magic. Blood and screams mixed with corpses and souls. The vile necromancer Frahri gathered this all up in his dungeon to bring whatever he desired to him. The poor people he captured for his ingredients looked on as he lit candles for his ritual. As he cast his spell the flame of his candles turned from red to blue to black then vanished and the necromancer got what he desired.

           A brand new flat screen TV. Frahri figured if he could he use the dark arts to get it, then he would, he sold his soul to become a necromancer and bothered mastering all this magic after all. Next would come the DVD player and all the seasons of Wizard Idol.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Today's #flashfiction A Lesson In Value

 “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
The Energizer Bunny* #quote

Do you know why computers always eat a lot at buffets? Because they have so many bytes! That one's a Langdon original. No need for applause. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


A Lesson In Value

          “Daddy, why is gold so expensive?” A child asked his father with that curious expression that children are both famous and infamous for.
           The father looked at his son, and after a brief moment of thought, and gave him the simplest answer he could think of. “Gold is rare. Things that are rarer are more valuable because there is less of it around.”
          “Okay, I think I get it.”
          A few hours later the child held up to his father a sock that he glued various objects onto, including paper clips, and those little silly, wiggly, plastic eyes. Staples along with tape was also on the sock. Various items covered the messy thing.
         “I'll take one million dollars for my Dodadthingie!” the child told his father with a smile.
           “What?” His father asked, perplexed.
           “You told me that things are more expensive the rarer they are. There is only one Dodadthingie in the world. So it should be worth lots of money!”

            The father sighed. “Okay, maybe I didn't explain it properly...”

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Today's #flashfiction A Penny For Your Thoughts

 “Treasure every moment.”
Captain Blackbeard* #quote

Hope all of you who went shopping on Black Friday survived with minimal line lag. (The name I devised for the jet lag like sensation experience created by waiting in line for absurd amounts of time.) Anyway onto the flash fiction!


A Penny For Your Thoughts

           Robots, when they obtained artificial intelligence, became a massive economic force. However their minds lacked several things humans had. Robots could follow deductive reasoning and project results of events. But imagination and things like dreams were beyond them. At least inventing these things on their own. They could absorb this data into their brains. And besides power and repairs experiences from the human imagination and experience were what robots desired.
          Since robots worked harder and faster than humans many humans sold their thoughts for money. If they couldn't invent things they watched television so that robots could download their experiences from humans. When a robot watches TV with just its cameras it just sees the images. But if it downloads the human experience it gets it. They envy humans for being able to create emotions on such a more complex scale than them. If someone's thoughts are particularly engaging their wages could be high. A penny for a complete train of thought was standard. But an epiphany, an emotional burst, or something similar could fetch even more. Each person experiences things differently and in order to keep the economy running the powers that be made sure that thoughts couldn't be shared back and forth so easily. Copyright for experiences and thoughts. Particularly powerful experiences were auctioned. People with reputations for interesting lives charged more, though in general people at tried to set their own prices and work their way to establishing a reputation to how engaging their thoughts are to the robot public.

         What price would you put on your thoughts?

Friday, November 25, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Penguin Zombies

“Live and learn.”
Dracula* #quote


The world would be a better place if there was less pointless blog filler. Anyway onto the flash fiction!



Penguin Zombies


         When the zombie plague hit Earth it didn't hit humans...it hit penguins. It made their dead rise, and made them invincible. Try to kill them and their body parts would rise again, or like a starfish form into even more zombie penguins. But penguins born in the starfish fashion couldn't be call born really, they were unholy zombies and were often only partially built: heads were often collapsed and and fin and feathers would be missing.
          The zombie penguins waddled all over the world and spread all over. They pecked at the living over and over till only their torn remains scattered the ground. The mangled flesh of the victims of the zombie penguins would then transform into more zombie penguins. With each victim the penguins spread and spread. Every living being becoming a zombie penguin.

          Soon the Earth was filled with nothing but the squawking dead.