“Is there a doctor in the house?”
The Daleks* #quote
Well today I watched good old Who's Line Is It Anyway? with the family. Glad they brought it back. Watched that a lot when I was a young...maybe that explains a bit! Haha. Anyway onto the flash fiction!
Doomsday Technical Difficulties
The alien ship loomed above the Earth. It's pilot could only partially be described with words from human languages. It had tentacles and eyes, ears and a few other body parts we had words for...but many other things humans didn't have any words to describe. The ship's outside could be described however even by a child. It looked like a gray basketball, lines included, but so many more. It's method of space travel would be something that scientists on Earth would probably discover in a few centuries or so.
The alien piloting the ship had been spending the last hour on his alien telephone speaking across the galaxy to another alien about his ship. A few words may have been approximated to bring this to English but the conversation is something humans can understand.
“I told you, I already rebooted the cannons firing mechanism. Three times!” The alien pilot said into his phone.
“Did you reboot the ship motherboard?” The other alien responded.
“I can't reboot the motherboard, I'm in the middle of space. I would die. Isn't that obvious? For technical support you don't seem to know what you're doing.” The pilot grew angrier.
“You didn't tell me you were in space,” he responded.
“I told you I was going to blow up a planet. Where else would I be?”
“Well Sir, I thought when you said going, you meant you were going to do it later.”
“You've run me through rebooting every single cannon part. What else could be done?”
“Sir, besides rebooting the motherboard or getting a new cannon there's nothing you could do that wouldn't involve working on other parts of the ship. And that would be hazardous in space.”
“Don't think I don't know that? You're useless!”
“Sir, just doing my job. The cannon's just broke. You can return it if it's only been 6000 standardized major galactic time units since your purchase.”
“Ugh, I'll go home and reboot the motherboard and if that doesn't work I'll return the stupid cannon. I hate returning ship parts. You have to pull them out, it's such a chore. I swear I'm not returning to this planet. I swear I have to drive out into the middle of nowhere to annihilate a dominate race on a planet to open it up for a development and my cannon busts? I don't care how valuable the planet is. I'm driving somewhere closer. Probably the gravity of this place's dumb moon or their planets making the cannon funny. Going to tell everyone to avoid this rock.”
“I wish you luck on your other business ventures Sir.”
“Ah, yes, thank you. Sorry, for getting mad. I hope next time the annihilation cannon works.”