Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #DoomsdayTechnicalDifficulties

“Is there a doctor in the house?”
The Daleks* #quote

        Well today I watched good old Who's Line Is It Anyway? with the family. Glad they brought it back. Watched that a lot when I was a young...maybe that explains a bit! Haha. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Doomsday Technical Difficulties

         The alien ship loomed above the Earth. It's pilot could only partially be described with words from human languages. It had tentacles and eyes, ears and a few other body parts we had words for...but many other things humans didn't have any words to describe. The ship's outside could be described however even by a child. It looked like a gray basketball, lines included, but so many more. It's method of space travel would be something that scientists on Earth would probably discover in a few centuries or so.
         The alien piloting the ship had been spending the last hour on his alien telephone speaking across the galaxy to another alien about his ship. A few words may have been approximated to bring this to English but the conversation is something humans can understand.
        “I told you, I already rebooted the cannons firing mechanism. Three times!” The alien pilot said into his phone.
         “Did you reboot the ship motherboard?” The other alien responded.
         “I can't reboot the motherboard, I'm in the middle of space. I would die. Isn't that obvious? For technical support you don't seem to know what you're doing.” The pilot grew angrier.
        “You didn't tell me you were in space,” he responded.
       “I told you I was going to blow up a planet. Where else would I be?”
       “Well Sir, I thought when you said going, you meant you were going to do it later.”
       “You've run me through rebooting every single cannon part. What else could be done?”
       “Sir, besides rebooting the motherboard or getting a new cannon there's nothing you could do that wouldn't involve working on other parts of the ship. And that would be hazardous in space.”
       “Don't think I don't know that? You're useless!”
       “Sir, just doing my job. The cannon's just broke. You can return it if it's only been 6000 standardized major galactic time units since your purchase.”
       “Ugh, I'll go home and reboot the motherboard and if that doesn't work I'll return the stupid cannon. I hate returning ship parts. You have to pull them out, it's such a chore. I swear I'm not returning to this planet. I swear I have to drive out into the middle of nowhere to annihilate a dominate race on a planet to open it up for a development and my cannon busts? I don't care how valuable the planet is. I'm driving somewhere closer. Probably the gravity of this place's dumb moon or their planets making the cannon funny. Going to tell everyone to avoid this rock.”
      “I wish you luck on your other business ventures Sir.”
      “Ah, yes, thank you. Sorry, for getting mad. I hope next time the annihilation cannon works.”

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheFariesFlyingAbout

“Okay, baby steps.”
Benjamin Button* #quote

       Today I lost track of time and nearly didn't do my blog post in time for bed. Whoopsie daisy. But here's a short something off the tippity toppity of my head that I wrote in a few minutes. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Fairies Flying About

         There was once a fairy that flew out of the magic woods and into the land of the humans. It saw all of our marvelous technology and thought it was a magic all it's own. It went back to the magic woods and told all it's fairy friends to see what it saw. They went around invisible so no one can see them. But the reason you've got no bars on your cellphone in the oddest of places is because some little fairy is flying by and checking out all the sights and giving you a bit of magical interference.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #MiningForMagic

“Marco! Polo! Marco! Polo!”
The Blair Witch Project* #quote

         Today I didn't do what I did yesterday but may do what I will do tomorrow but definitely won't do what I did the day after two days ago. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Mining For Magic

        I hate the wizards. They don't appreciate what I do. They just cast spells with a smile on their face and pretend like they're the only ones responsible. Like magic just comes from thin air. Well everything has to come from somewhere. Otherwise it doesn't make much sense does it?
        I wonder how many times wizards think, “Gee, I'm sure glad that faries spend all those hard hours mining magic from dimensional lines and pulling it into our universe for use.” I don't even get paid that much. I keep the crystal balls working and they don't care. They don't even give us bit of credit. Oh, yeah wizard's just make magic right? Surreee they do. I'm not even paid by wizards. I'm paid by demi-gods sent down to keep the world running straight.
        At least the demi-god says, “Tom ya did a good job today.”
        Ah, what? I think I just saw a frilly pink glow! That's the kind of light that a high level teleportation spell gives off. The only kind that could break into our dimensional drilling facility! I hope that's the boss demi-god losing his keys again. Otherwise I'm going to call security.
And it's a wizard. Wonderful.
        “Who are you and what are you doing here? Do I need to call security?”
        “Oh, I'm from a TV station, I want to film a documentary. People are getting bored with the dragon documentaries and since there's nothing about fairies I thought I would use that as material.” The wizard smiled. A few more teleportation spells went off and a whole crew came in. I was sure if I should have been flattered or offended. The demi-god boss was a very attention starved guy so I could definetely convince him to let the studio people walk along. Maybe I'll get some appreciation from the wizards after this. If not I'll spike the magic I mine around the studio executives to make their spells backfire for weeks.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheManAndHisFailure

“Been there, done that.”
Kilroy* #quote

        Today I'm hanging out with CJ. What are we doing? I'm sorry, but that's classified. Mostly in alphabetical order. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Man And His Failure

         Everything was rubble. All around me. I worked so hard. Day in and day out. Like I always do. Everything I built. Gone. Collapsed. All the machines I invented torn to bits and scattered along the ground. I laid out what I thought was the perfect plan and it failed. In a horrible humiliating way. A way that ended up with my face in the dirt and everyone who worked for me with a few additional broken bones and unconscious.
         “I hope you've learned your lesson,” the superhero said to me before kicking me another few feet. “And that's for even thinking up such a vile scheme. It'll be prison for you and your minions soon.” Before he kicked me he already burnt my skin and much of black costume off with his fire breath. Dragon-Man belched smoke while he stretched his dragon wings. His scale-patterned green costume looked obnoxiously thematic.
          “Just let the police come get me. I'll go quietly now.”
           Dragon-Man roared before speaking again, “Oh now you go quietly little man?” The superhero was correct, if I wasn't lying on the ground I would stand at five foot eight and he stood at seven feet. Compared to him I am short. “That's how you villains think. Evil and wicked only playing nice when we've made that the only option. Scum!” He breathed fire on me. It hurt. Like hot needles with coals coming up behind them.
          Did I deserve it? Probably. I'm the bad guy. I'm not stupid. I know about morals. I just don't care. But he's the first hero to ever go at me this hard. But certainly not the last. The heroes have been coming at me harder and faster. And I've been losing every time. Back when I started I even took control of the planet with an evil artifact I got. But even that ended after a week.
          “So you already thinking about how you're going to break out of prison? Again?”
Not quite. But usually yeah, that's what I do at this point.
          “Well think about this it worth it?”
          “What will happen when you break out of prison scum?”
          “Why I'll make a new identity and become a harmless citizen.”
          “Liar. You'll try to make a new evil plan and guess what? We'll stop you again. One of us heroes. And oh boy, I hope it'll be me because that gives me more reason to beat you harder.”
           I looked at the rubble around me. I remembered the past ten years of my life. And my double life. As one of the richest men in the world. Pretty much letting stewing stocks and investments fund my evil plans. Using some of my genius to make evil inventions and some to make good inventions for profit to fund my evil ones in secret. A life in a dark lab either way. The only climaxes being when I fight heroes. All leading up to failures. Did I just enjoy the game of it all? I already had a teleport set up to drag me away to another lair whenever I wanted.
         I looked into Dragon-Man's eyes. I saw a conviction much greater than my own. I looked at the rubble again. I thought of the well thought out evil plan that was laid to waste, and all the ones before that were failed by various heroes, and all the many heroes in the world against me. And all the villains beyond that who would fight for power if I ever did win.
         “I give up.”
          Dragon-Man laughed. “You already lost.”
          “No. Everything. All of super villainy. You won't ever by fighting me again.” I used the teleporter to my other evil lair. I planned to dismantle it and return to my good life and never lead a double one again. Haha, or maybe a superhero one. I've got the gadgets.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #BattlingTheThought

“Make love, not war.”
Genghis Khan* #quote

  I'm heading out to a card game thing for lots of fun. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Battling The Thought

           Today I fought a great enemy. It attacked me while I was in a business meeting. While the boredom of the business meeting ate away at me. I needed to focus on the meeting but the enemy attacked. The enemy that attacked me that day was a stray thought. “What am I going to have for dinner?”
          It assaulted my mind at this most vital moment. The meeting, though important, twisted my mind with boredom so a thought to contemplate turned out to be a special kind of bliss. But I needed to know every bit of data on the graphs the boss showed. I needed to pay attention. I needed to! Argh!
          But to think, think complex thoughts, was something I desired after all the zombie monotony. Would my wife make dinner? Or would we have pizza? And with what toppings? Oh, all the toppings! Toppings are something to think about.
        No...I Only the boss's word. I need to have only those fit into my mind. Sink into the monotony. Yes...fight the thought. No such thing as dinner. No such thing as dinner. No such thing as dinner. Just work. Just work. Now then, what was I think about? The meeting. Yup, getting everything the boss is saying. Yup, uh-uh.
I wonder what's going to be on TV tonight.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheImportantSpell

      “1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.”
HAL 9000* #quote

Today I found out the answer to da million dollar question. And I'm not telling! Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Important Spell

          How do I make this summoning circle? I keep getting the results wrong. And if I don't figure out the right spell the next thing I'm going to hear from my boss is “Jasmine, you're fired.” The spell invention business is ruthless and when a wizard asks for a spell to be invented you get it done on time or you're fired. They'll find someone to replace you. There is always someone to replace you lined up right outside the door. Everyone wants to get famous inventing spells. I do. Right now I'm practicing making spells to order and soon I want to invent a super-spell that will make me a famous wizard for the history books. A dream shared by about a billion other wizards.
       I can't figure out how to arrange these lines. It's such a complex summoning. I've summoned demons and it was much easier. Maybe if'd bring forth a goblin. And that other arrangement would bring forth a plague. No, no, no...I'm going to lose my job aren't I? Oh, it would have been nice to figure it out. It's for a big client. Yordel, super wizard, and owner of his own pocket dimension. A may have even gotten a raise. Wait, raise! If I raise this line in the summoning circle...yes! I have it!
         “Boss, the chocolate sundae summoning spell is ready!” I shouted with glee.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #HauntingCoffee

“But baby, I can change!”
Optimus Prime* #quote

        It seems most likely I will be doing things with my friends both Saturday and Sunday. Yay shenangians. Though that means I'm going to have to probably write three stories tomorrow. One for that day and two for the days ahead, just to make sure I got something for y'all. I hope you enjoy today's and all those coming up. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Haunting Coffee

        All ghosts have a name. Mine is Jim. All ghosts have unfinished business. Mine is quite...anticlimactic. I led a fairly boring life so all I've got to speak for is that on the day I died there is one thing I didn't do.
I didn't finish my last cup of coffee.
        You know those characters in crime shows who conveniently have no family or friends so the plot doesn't have boring early leads that the detectives should be logically chasing down? I'm one of those guys. Except there's no interesting murder behind my death. I just don't know anybody. The only people at my funeral were my coworkers.
        So the only thing about me was my daily routine and my love of coffee. I would start my day with a different cup if I could, ordering the most strange and exotic things. I'd adjust them with sugar or whatever else I wanted. Most of my paycheck went to buying odd coffees from countries a few continents away. And my unfinished business was that I didn't make a very special cup of coffee that I ordered. The rarest strangest thing yet. I was so very eager to try it. I put the mix under the machine at work. I sometimes shared my strange coffees with the people at work. They called me the “Coffee Guy”.
        I've been haunting the machine for months now. It must be some special trait of ghosts to want something more than any sane human would. I wanted to taste that coffee. Through an accident by trying to make contact with the janitor I figured out I could possess people. I couldn't control them, but I could experience what they did. So I waited by the machine. Waited for someone to make that exotic coffee I ordered. Such a simple thing I needed done to rest in peace. But before I died that was the only thing unfinished on my mind.
        Someone finally grabbed it. That intern that I can never remember the name of. Well it doesn't matter what his name is. C'mon, make it! Make it! Why is calling other people over? He's telling everyone about the bag. They're starting to talk about me.
        I didn't I was never late for anything, but they seemed to noticed and talked about. I knew I was on time...and then then talked about me helping them with their computers. I don't remember them talking about all this stuff at the funeral. They were so quiet. I thought they didn't really care. The intern called the boss over. He made the entire bag for everyone, I bought a massive mix for a week's worth and he divided it among the whole staff. They put everything at halt in the office just to talk about me. They were all warm words. I thought they didn't much care about me beyond being the “Coffee Guy” but all of them knew my name.
        Everything started going white. I could tell I was passing on, and I hadn't even possessed anyone to take a taste of the coffee. I just went then and there.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #WhoLetTheDragonsOut?

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...”
Teddy Ruxpin* #quote

          Well I drew a lot today. Been awhile since I did some serious drawing. I took a class so I'm decent, but it was still-lives and drawing off of images you see so I can't really make my own stuff too well. I can draw sketch versions of any picture though. Got a portrait of myself drawn in a room I did for the art class. Maybe I'll post my art in a sub-section of the blog if I ever do enough or get a chance. I'm going to practicing more because I'll be doing drawings of Mom's dogs for her Christmas present(not going to be a surprise for her because I had to know what size to draw it based on where it should be put). Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Who Let The Dragons Out?

           “We're all doomed!” The wizards of the magic school shouted. Dragons soared out the windows and crashed through the halls. They ate up students and teachers of all ages. “Who let the dragons out?” they all yelled, the dragons roared and the wizards said again “Who let the dragons out?” Enchanted fire breath broke through the most powerful of magical barriers. Left and right they were all torn and gobbled up those poor wizards along with all the magical creatures in the magical school. “Who let the dragons out?” They were all sealed away in the most secret place, protected place in the mystical, magical school. So who did let the dragons out?
          The school principle of all people. Why would he? Well the old man found out that day he was going to die soon from his crystal ball, and he was the kind of man that would die bitter and angry. He decided to give the kids a reason to run in the school halls.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #AWeedOfMagic

“You must have me confused with someone else.”
Mystique, X-Men* #quote

          Today I got a new game informer. Reading is fun and informative. I've always found words to be very useful. They're one of my favorite things next to the many flavors of ice cream. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

A Weed Of Magic

         Right in the middle of the king's garden a unique magical phenomenon happened. The birth of a new kind of fairy that could turn thoughts into fire. An oddity. The king sent me, Ferlenix his royal wizard to look at it. The fairy had no practical application. The rate it turned thoughts into fire was a kindling at best and it couldn't sap thoughts so it couldn't be used for torture or anything like that. It sucked ambient magic to live so it burnt resources. And I could tell that it was one of those fairies that would soon be using magic to replicate itself or crossbreed with other races to spread it effects. It took magic, gave no positive effects...I knew wizards had no use for it. So I knew that the kingdom or any land had no use for such a creature. It looked cute floating there, like a child with butterfly wings. But it wasn't human or beneficial.
       So I killed it. To stop it right there. It was a weed and I needed to pluck it and keep it from spreading.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #WhyIDidIt

“Shhhh, no talking during the movie...”
Charlie Chaplin* #quote

Today I breathed. Like you. But I did it better. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Why I Did It

        “Sir! We've done it! You're equations we're correct! The time machine works! We sent the rats backwards through time by a whole hour!”
       I looked at my lab assistant. And all the lab assistants. All wearing the same stereotypical lab coats as I did. “And you documented it all? Thoroughly?”
       “Good,” I then pulled out my cell phone and dialed a number. The time machine exploded, along with the rats inside. The computers were wiped. The only records of my equations in full besides my own memory.
        “Why did you do that?” All of my assistants yelled at once, “You've destroyed not only the machine, but also the few materials on the whole planet that could ever be used to make one! Humanity will probably never be able to make another!”
        I shrugged. “A time machine could easily be abused. I did not make the time machine to be used. I made the machine for the sake of making it. So I could. To prove I could do it. For science and,” I laughed, “my pride really.”

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #AlienSupplyAndDemand

“Save the trees!”
Paul Bunyan* #quote

       Today I went to my second card game shenanigans of the weekend. This upcoming weekend there will a special event to go along with the usual. Aren't hobbies just the best? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Alien Supply And Demand

        A rare thing was taken from Earth by aliens. To be sold at their markets for obscene amounts of money. Alien money of course! No dollars or euros here, not even for an Earth item. A straight conversion rate of value to them would be difficult, but to make it simple a single shipment of the item equaled a humble retirement fund for three generations.
        Was it diamonds? Gold? Nothing of the sort. Because it was not rare to us, but rare to them. The eight-eyed salesman bragged about his trip to grab the Earth item in the dead of night so that we humans wouldn't detect him. It was an item rare to the aliens. Not to us.
        The cockroach. A fine delicious delicacy to them and unable to breed on the alien planets so it must be abducted every time from it's natural habitat. Laws of being detected by us natives makes catching roaches difficult and expensive. But what aliens will do for them, and pay for them, is what is important. It serves as a status symbol among the various tentacled beings and other races of aliens to talk about your cockroach dinner.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #AFewJokesFromAWizardJokebook

“Land ho!”
Neil Armstrong* #quote

       Today I went to a card game doohicky, Jess was there and I had much fun. She will also be at the card game thingie I will be going to tomorrow. Hobbies are the fun-ness. Wee! Anyway onto the flash fiction!

A Few Jokes From A Wizard Jokebook

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Curse Mia Little
Curse Mia Little who?
Okay, I'll curse you a little.
What kind of dragon eats the most knights?
The one who holds captive the most beautiful princess!

Why do magicians of the mundane world never reveal their tricks but wizards tell the
the magical world the ways of their magic?
Simple: To show off how smart they are.

Why do zombies always say “braiinnsss”?
They're complaining that the necromancers that summoned them are idiots.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #MagicalSweepstakes

“Ticket please.”
St. Peter* #quote

        Today I bought a bunch of Pokemon cards for 22 dollars. Of them I, by luck, bought a card worth around 20 dollars. (Nearly all card games sell packs at least two primary ways, boosters, which are random, then packs with preset cards. I got one preset thing and two boosters.)

Magical Sweepstakes

         Hey witches, wizards and magical creatures of all kinds! Don't change your crystal ball channel or alter your time-space scry, The United Guild's Artifact Warehouse Emporium Corporation Shop Business is having a sweepstakes you can't miss out on. Just by visiting any of our thousands of easily locatable through our spirit-net website locations you can enter. It's easy! We provide a questionnaire you fill out with your name, address and a few questions about magical artifacts to enter! You can win tons of fabulous prices! Your weight in gold pieces! Twenty artifacts from our “Doom Catalog”. An all expense paid trip to the Intelligent, Nice and Attractive People Dimension. And we only may or may not send you junk mail after you enter! Two thousand lucky winners! Enter today!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheElusiveBeast

“You can quote me on that!”
Marcel Marceau* #quote

Today Grandma came over for dinner. Fun was had. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Elusive Beast

        I have been tracking the beast for days now. Curiously it eludes me through the wilderness. I follow it's tracks perfectly. I never make a mistake. But around and around I go in the woods, following the tracks. It must be a creature of human-like size. But heavier with an odd walk. It stumbles like it has a hump heavier than it can handle. How could it survive with a deformity of such large mass coming out of it's back? It seems to speed up as I track it in the woods in circles. I've been emptying the supplies out of my backpack as I eat away at my rations. At one twilight I eat another bit of my rations. As I finish a bit of bread I make a horrible and annoying realization.
     I've been tracking myself.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheMostKnightlyKnight

“Green is the color of money.”
Kermit the Frog* #quote

         Well today I found another card game place to go to for fun nerdy card game places to go to. So now I will be playing cards at two comic stores, one on Saturday and one on Sunday.

The Most Knightly Knight

They said he was the greatest knight. The most knightly of knights.
He slayed the strongest dragons.
Beat the strongest knights.
And when he did that.
He slew the medium strength dragons.
And beat the medium strength knights.
Then he slew the weakest dragons.
And beat the weakest knights.
He did all to show his bravery.
He rescued every damsel in distress.
He assisted every damsel in need.
Then he met damsels not in need.
Then he began stalking damsels.
He started to stalk damsels and beat up squires and slay lizards and snakes.
He needed to be the most the knightly of knights.
He decided to defeat himself one night. His sword going through his own heart.
All so he could be known for beating every knight in combat.
They all said he was the most knightly of knights.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheElfishConcert

“The butler did it!”
Sherlock Holmes* #quote

           Today I traveled to alternate universe where it was fashionable to wear belt buckles around your forehead. It was quite funny to see all celebrities wearing the belt buckles this way. Anyway onto flash fiction!

The Elfish Concert

           All I had to do was play the notes.
           So many elves have done it before me. It's a thing we do. My brother did it. My father did it.
           Everyone does it. It's a rite of passage.
           Maybe I should have chosen to learn the piano. Or the trumpet. Or the harp. Did it matter? I liked the violin so that's what I learned. Sages taught me how to play the songs. The magical songs. The songs we used to speak with the spirits. I'm only ten. And they let us do this. Humans do magic when they're much older. I want to be older. But no. I have to do it now. With a buncha other elvish kids. Right in front of a large lake. A spirit lake.
        We started playing the summoning song. Adults watch. Our parents and other family. Our maigc music teachers too. Like a school play. A few powerful wizards if things go wrong. Should that make me feel safer?
When our instruments play the magic song together the notes go from silent to loud, a rough rhythm to a hard one with better skill I thought. All the kids must have practiced as much as I had. Thunderless lighting starting flying up from lake. How high the lighting shot into the sky reflected the loudness of our notes and the pattern. Loud notes the lighting shot high. Low notes the lighting barely came out from the lake. The rate it popped out matched the rhythm. I saw the song in the lighting. When I first saw other people summon I was terrified. I thought I would be ready when I did it myself but even now I felt scared but I still kept playing. The other kids probably felt the same as they managed to keep playing yet shivered in the legs the same like me.
       Smoke ingrained with rainbows of colors started to come out from the lighting and float towards us. The smoke flew over us covering us first with a shadow then a warm glow. And then out from the smoke came what we played our instruments so hard to summon. The beings who loved music so much they would come from their other world to hear it played if the tone fit their tastes. That's what made the song magic. When the song managed to touch the hearts of the spirits. We feel the same for much of our music and we enjoy many of the magical songs ourselves. I would enjoy it more if I wasn't scared of the forming spirits.
       The spirits looked like people made of water with joints of fire that somehow floated in sky. They had diamond eyes that looked at us. How they heard our music was beyond my little ten-year-old brain. I just hoped they wouldn't attack me. Instead the spirits just came closer and closer and more and more of them emerged from the smoke. The floated close to our instruments. I think to hear it all better.
       We finished our song, then a voice spoke in my mind. A voice that sounded like it belonged to twenty people of all ages and both sexes all mixed into one. “Thank you for song,” it said to me. And all the spirits vanished, along with the smoke cloud and the lighting from the lake.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #ThoughtBlackjack

Hi Ho Hi Ho , Its Off To Work We Go!!”
The A-Team* #quote

         Well today I planned out with the Dad the characters he's going to put on a placemat he's going to make for me for those nerdy collectible card games I play(it's a common decoration people use though he's making a custom one as one of his art projects). While I also asked Mom what size she wanted the picture of her dogs drawn by me for her Christmas present. (It may take me awhile, but I did take art in school and one thing I got good at was pencil drawings of pictures, it was our primary skill building thing...though I didn't get much past that haha...and I'm good at stippling[making a picture with a buncha dots, that was one of our other projects])

Thought Blackjack

        When some scientists in some labs invented chips that gave everyone psychic powers the world changed. (Hey, don't blame me for forgetting the scientist's names, unless they become a celebrity like Einstein who really remembers the names of the scientists who comes up with all our stuff?) Everything began to involve the exchange of thoughts.
        This included the world of gambling. Blackjack was replaced with Thought Blackjack. I played Thought Blackjack. I played the normal version of Blackjack. Didn't care much for it. I thought to myself “Hey Ron, Blackjack's blackjack right?” But it ain't. After all one is played with thoughts and one with cards.
In Thought Blackjack a sleeping man lies under the table. (Yeah the casinos pay a man to sleep under the table! Would you believe it?) But everything has to be thought powered these days and the man induced in a deep sleep, I swear he's gotta be drugged or something, is used for his thoughts. Yeah, they pluck thoughts straight from his dreams and deal them like cards in old Blackjack.
       Just like in old Blackjack the player and dealer go back and forth, but instead of cards they draw thoughts. And if the man's having a good dream whoever gets the largest amounts of good thoughts before hitting euphoria wins, if a nightmare it's the other way around. All the thoughts got a degree of points to them. The dream is a massive train of thought. The chaotic train of thought. You can try to “count cards” by predicting the train of thought. Good luck though.
       I'd say they got some similarities. But there is one guaranteed similarity that is actually exactly the same. The house always wins. No matter how chaotic the dreams are the sleeping man is still there's and by their research they set it up so it's in their advantage. The dealer always goes first and starts the train of thought after all.
      So every time I lose my money overall. Can't think of why I keep playing at those tables. Fun? I guess. Because I'm never going to make money when the casino always beats me in the long run. Cards or thoughts I think that's how that's how it's going to be till the end of time.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #ToBeAStorm

Neil Armstrong* #quote

         Today father and I saw Pacific Rim. It was a very calm movie where robots punched giant monsters in the face. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

To Be A Storm

Being a storm means many things for me.
It means I'm born of smallest invisible droplets in the air like I was born from nothing.
It means my flesh is made of water, flesh that will fall to ground against my will.
It means my whole body will drift wherever the wind takes it.
It means the closest things I will have to fingers will be lighting.
Fingers of lighting that burn down forests.
Flesh of water that will flood cities.
Never my choice.
I may only drift until my body breaks up.
Though if I'm lucky I will see that may rain will have caused some flowers to bloom.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheThingThatMadeTheSunnyWitchCry

“To be or not to be.”
Schrodinger's Cat* #quote

       Today I played video games with my incredible hardcore skillz. I only nearly lost five times! Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Thing That Made The Sunny Witch Cry

        People knew me as the Sunny Witch instead of Beverly. Not because I practiced fire or light magic or something simple like that. They all called me that because I always wore a bright smile. I never cried, ever. Even when around the greatest tragedies in the magic world struck I could keep optimistic and smile. I would cast healing magic with a smile and cure all the sick children even when other healers couldn't around all the sickly young ones.
        I'd seek out all the happiness I could. I'd had fun with all the magical creatures, dragons, griffons and whatever I could ride, tame or even just meet. I'd go to the various circuses and see the other spell casters use their magic to make wonderful shows. I would bond with the other races. Dine with the elves, dance with the werewolves, limbo with the vampires, and so much more.
       Though one thing eventually made me cry. Normally something that makes me happy: Researching various spells. I cast a spell to peer into other universes. And I peered into yours. One without any of these wonderful magic things. I cried. How can you live in such a place?

Friday, July 12, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheLastComponent

School House Rock* #quote

It wasn't me! The butler did it! Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Last Component

          “You don't get it! I need that last spell component!” The desperate wizard yelled at the shopkeeper. The wizard pounded his fists on the counter his blue robes shaking from the force and his large, pointed wizarding hat tilting forward.
          “Look. We're out of stock.”
          “I used a spell to locate components. I know you have it.”
         “Fine. We're out of ones to sell to new customers. Everything we have in the back stuff already bought waiting to be picked up.”
         The wizard pulled out his wand and pointed it at the shopkeeper with a harsh glare. Angrily pointing his wand at him was the closest thing he could get to a threat without saying something. “I don't care about the other customers. Give me that spell component. It's the last I need for a spell I need to cast.”
          “What could you possibly use such low level pixie dust on that's so important?”
          “That doesn't matter to you.”
          “I'm not giving it to you.”
          “Yes you will. I'll pay you double. No triple it's price.”
          “I'm not going to take product from loyal customers who already ordered it just because you're offering me a little more money on something as cheap as pixie dust. Please leave before I have to kick you out of the store. You're causing a ruckus. Go get it somewhere else.”
          “It's sold out everywhere else in town! I need it now! Give it to me! I'll pay you ten thousand times the price. Just give me the pixie dust! Right now!”
          “I don't know what kind of low level spell you so desperatly need but if you need to pay that much for it...well that's a price for me.” The shop keep laughed. He tried to remain loyal to customers but for ten thousand times the price...well that was enough for him to take it from the other customers that ordered it ahead of time. Heck he would buy teleport tickets and pick some up later to replace it at last minute if he had too.
         The wizard got his pixie dust and rushed out of the shop and into a nearby alleyway where no one could see him. He then cast his spell. It wasn't a strong spell. A bit stronger than the shop keep expected but still very weak. It was a spell that needed pixie dust.
        He cast an illusion spell to keep himself looking human, for not only was he a human but a demon. A demon who reforms his ways and wishes to live a just life cannot live among demons but among other races like humans. So long ago the demon decided to become human. And this was one day he had quite some difficulty getting the normally common pixie dust for his monthly illusion spell.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheAbominableSnowmanAndHisTherapist

“Youth is wasted on the young.”
Dorian Gray* #quote

Unfortunately it seems CJ can't come over this weekend. Aw. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Abominable Snowman and His Therapist

         “Mr. Yeti you seem to be having some anxiety issues?”
         “Oh. And how often do you feel this way?”
         “Makes sense. Is it always when you have the donkey in your mountain cave?”
         “So the donkey doesn't need to be there. When did these issues start?”
         “Ever since you broke up with your girlfriend?”
         “Have you been dating since you broke up with her?”
        “Every weekend? And that's when you're the most anxious? I think that your troubles might be rooted in your relationship issues. Please tell me more about me more about your ex, your relationship with her, and how it ended.”
       “Oh, I see, wipe butter on it before you go on dates and that should help you with your anxiety issues until we talk more about them later.”

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #NotHeroicallyInsured

“What's in a name?”
George Foreman* #quote

        Today I schemed to have CJ over this weekend. He may not come over though. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Not Heroically Insured

Dear Mr. Smith,

        Though I, Captain Superpowered, regret that your home was damaged in my battles with the forces of evil I am no obligation to pay for said damages. By federal law all collateral damage from superhero battles that is not paid by captured supervillains is to be paid by the superhero insurance of the victims. Again, I sympathize, but these laws are enacted so that we heroes can fight without worrying about fighting. It is the responsibility of the citizen to become insured. However as the law states I have included instructions on how to report all the damages caused and what kind of battle of justice it was so you can report the incident to the insurance company. I hope that you did not attempt to contact me to pay for damages because you have no insurance. If you have no insurance there are some government programs for those who are not insured against these situations. By law I have enclosed these documents as well. I hope you are able to repair your house without much difficulty, I regret having to vaporize your kitchen with my vaporize-vision to defeat the villain I was fighting.
       Have a nice day,

       Captain Superpowered

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #CanYouHelpKeepYourWorldFromExploding

“Two heads are better than one.”
The Headless Horseman* #quote

        Well played my pokemon video game today. Had lots of fun, and my seizure count was down. It was a good day. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Can You Help Keep Your World From Exploding?

        Yo. Hey. You. I'm an inter-dimensional inter-universe inter-planar time-traveling spirit coming here to help you. My true form would burn your brain to pieces. Well what I am truly doesn't concern you. What concerns you is that your planet is about to explode. You guys have barely been using any magic to align yourself with other planes of existence. You're going to go unstable and go boom. Yeah in reality magic is sort of the string that pulls all the existence...stuff...together. It'd be a bit difficult for a human like you to understand.
        Anyway to keep your whole planet from exploding, and possibly your little universe(there's a whole multi-verse but I'd at least like your section in one piece, it is my job.) I need you to cast a wee bit of magic. Think you can handle that? Play spell caster for a moment?
       It won't be that hard. I'll make it a psychic one so you won't even need to say anything or use spell components. How's about we just do a quick good luck spell. Now think of someone you'd like to give good luck. (If you feel a little greedy just think of yourself). Now think a happy thought. You've got to have one somewhere in your head. The happier the better. And if you're such a depressing person you can't think of something here's a suggestion: pie. Pie is a happy thought. Now think about the follow words a few times: Aboloa, abulla, abook. Did ya do it?
     Good now you gave someone good luck and helped keep the world from exploding. If that lovely bright sun of your world comes up tomorrow you know enough people got my request and cast a spell.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #ClockworkOfSpells

“Remember to look both ways before crossing the street.”
Confucius* #quote

        I think that you know that I know that you might know that I might not know what you might maybe possibly know that I don't know what you might know about what I know about what I could know about what you didn't know about what I did today. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Clockwork of Spells

       “Is your spell fitted? All the gears right?” My boss said to me. I didn't know gods could nag so much. Nag, nag, nag, nag. Well it's better than something like smiting something like me, a wee little fairy guy.
       “Yes. I put all the gears in the sphere. When magic flows through it, it operates without a hitch. We can put it in the pool now.”
       “Really?” The gods voice boomed. Why did they have to be even bigger than humans? And those massive layers of draping cloth they wore didn't help. Made them look more like curtains than living things. Couldn't even see any parts of his body without looking up since his feet were covered by falling cloth. Do they all robe themselves up like wizards? “Steve. I don't want to have another accident like last time.”
        “So I mess up one spell. What's the big deal? You don't need to babysit me.”
        “Fine. I triple check it.” Yeah, so he's concerned. I'm a spell fairy. The being that makes the magical spheres that control the flow of magic that make a spell work. I make the sphere, then put it in the Great Magic Pool. (More like an ocean really). When wizards cast their magic it follows the clockwork programming in my sphere. Yeah if I goof up the spell goofs up. As the boundaries of magic expand we spell fairies gotta make sure the magic programming is there so the spells don't go haywire. For the magic our clockwork guides it like roadsigns on a highway.
        “Quadruple check it.” My boss told me.
         The spell I goofed up was an immortality spell. So after wizards would gather up all they needed for immortality my spell clockwork would activate after they cast their spell. For the spell I programmed they would need the proper runes, many jewels, and many human sacrifices. It was discovered in a common branch of necromancy in many worlds at once so the spell was tried by many wizards very quickly at the same time. Thing is I goofed up so instead of immortality the wizards turned living bubblegum with thick Scottish accents.
       “It's perfect.”
        I put it into the Great Magic Pool. Finally. Wait.
        “Sorry! I goofed up! I need to grab it!”
        Whoah if I hadn't caught that wizards trying out a new ice spell would have summoned cooked bacon. Though in hindsight maybe I shouldn't have corrected myself on that one.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheManWhoInventedFire

“I can't quite put my finger on it.”
Goldfinger* #quote

Well today CJ is still over. Hanging out commences. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Man Who Invented Fire

        “What on Earth are you doing Ug?”
        “I'm getting warm. During night.”
        “You're going to burn your face off! Put that fire out somehow! Why you could burn down the whole forest!”
         “No. I've figured out to control it.”
         “Control fire?”
         “You take the fire, put it in a pile of sticks, within a circle of stones.”
         “Fire is a natural disaster. Lighting strikes a tree then whole forests burn. We lose hunting grounds. You speak of madness.”
         “No, look. See? It doesn't spread. I control it.”
         “Amazing. Why we could put this next to our caves. You could call it a cave fire. Or wait it could go wherever we camp. Maybe we could call it a campfire?”
         “Well, considering how you took the idea Tuk I was thinking of calling it a 'don't-run-for-the-hills' fire.”
         “Or how about 'really safe fire'?”
         “Oh, yeah they'll totally go for that!”

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #YouveGotItAllBackwards

“Let's split up gang!”
Captain Miller, Saving Private Ryan* #quote

Well Cj came over and we'll be hanging out n' stuff and stuff. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

You've Got It All Backwards

         I'm a “werewolf” as you humans say and I've come here to give a public service announcement to correct a very offensive misconception. Something that has bothered my people for a very long amount of time. And you humans are concerned offending people so much so I hope you would care to listen.
         We werewolves are not humans cursed to turn into wolf creatures at the full moon. No we are wolf beings cursed into being humans only allowed to return to our true forms on the full moon. Why imagine if you were stuck as something not of your kind most of your life and only able to be like your own kind for such short periods of time? I hope this announcement has brought you more awareness on magical kind. Soon I believe that Dracula may make an announcement on behalf of the vampires...

Friday, July 5, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheBudgetHero

“I'm an overachiever.”
Homer Simpson* #quote

       Cj could be coming over tonight. If not he should be over tomorrow. However it plays out, be assured, there will be shenanigans. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Budget Hero

        I'm a superhero blessed with some of the greatest powers. Average old Steven Willamston(that's me!) became a superhero with super strength, near invincible skin, incredible stamina, psychic powers, night vision and a whole collection of other powers after touching a magical artifact carrying the essence of the souls of several dead superheroes.
         However I'm not blessed with the budget of the greater superheroes.
         “What on Earth are you wearing?” The supervillain I faced laughed. “Is that even supposed to be a costume? A child could do better for Halloween!” The villain’s costume was a leather suit under a dark cloak.
         My costume was a t-shirt and jeans with a ski-mask. I made the emblem on my t-shirt with the only thing I had lying around the house, duct-tape. In order to keep myself looking less like a criminal I covered most of my skin mask with duct-tape as well.
         I tried to ignore any hits to my pride. “It doesn't matter I've come to stop your plans.”
        “That is an odd thing. You managed to get past defenses and into my control room,” the supervillain said. “And find out about my plans before other heroes. How?”
        “I used my psychic powers,” I told him. He was my first villain. I felt a compulsion to brag. “I knew about your plans as soon as you made them.
        He laughed. “Then what took you so long to get here?”
       “I took the bus,” I responded. Since I took the bus when I knew he was trying to finish his robot army I guess I didn't need to tell him I didn't own a car.
       The villain let out a massive laugh. Every laugh before was something of moderate amusement or something a little mocking. This was a villainous cackle that turned it an insane roaring boom. “You're a mouse of hero coming out from the cracks! One of the poor, little people trying to play superhero because they got lucky with the superhero lottery. Well there are other people who have better lives and won the superpower lottery too. They have spaceships, lairs, teams, and actual costumes. Go home. You can't afford to lead the double life.”
       My response was a quick super-strength punch to his supervillain face.
       It took stopping a few more supervillains besides him for people to stop calling me “duct-tape man” instead of my actual superhero name. I never lost a fight against a supervillain and I managed to live my double life just fine.