Thursday, June 30, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Two Ways To Do Things

 “On the road again...”
Frogger* #quote

Remember to watch your back. I suggest mirrors glued to your wrists. It'd be like driving, just check your mirrors to see what's behind you.

Two Ways To Do Things

         A young wizard named Jerry and a young knight named Ron fancied themselves for adventure. A common past time for knights and wizards of their age who felt particularly reckless. While setting up the tent for camp Ron watched Jerry prepare a spell.
        “So now that I've gathered the ten varieties of berries from the woods I can mix them together in this cup.” Jerry mumbled magic words as he mixed the berries for thirty minutes. “I will use this concoction to write the core of the spell on this blank scroll.” The writing took about twenty minutes.          Ron finished setting up the tent long ago and now already took off the heavier pieces of his armor that wouldn't allow him to move well around camp. Jerry continued narrating himself, Ron wondered if this was to help him keep track of what he was doing or if he just wanted to show off all the things he did as a wizard. “Then I rub candle wax on the scroll right before placing a few other items like spider's web on it.” The application of the rest of the spell components took another thirty minutes. “Then with a flick of the wrist...”
       The scroll turned into a ball of fire that flew straight for the wood they'd gathered for the campfire.
        Jerry smiled. “And now our campfire is lit! Amazing isn't it?”

        Ron groaned, “Yes, yes, so amazing. But how about next time we start the campfire with a lighter?” He wanted to start cooking dinner about forty five minutes ago.  

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Today's #flashfiction

 “It's what's on the inside that counts.”
Buddy Benson, Alien VS Predator* #quote

Remember that you'll forget. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Microwave's Torment

         I'm convinced that I'm going through some divine punishment. I'm able to perceive what's around me, hearing and seeing through my glass like some sort of magic power. At least for a microwave. And I won't break. Ever. I've been through generations of family's hopping from garage sale to garage sale, house to house and so kitchen to kitchen.
         It's a torturous thing to watch other people. I'm convinced I was a person. Or maybe I'm so jealous I'm convincing myself I was. They get bodies and get to move around. But the worse part happens when I cook.
         It doesn't physically hurt to cook. The only suffering I experience happens in my mind. What's food taste like? When they eagerly wait for me to finish heating something, what am I missing out on? I want to experience food. I want to experience flavor. Every part of being of human.

         I envy you.

Monday, June 27, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Extended Time

“I should have taken the elevator.”
M. C. Escher* #quote

Remember everyone has their own opinions. Unless they agree. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Extended Time

           I'm guessing the number would be two hundred. At least that what it feels like. Having my life flash before my eyes became a shortcut to immortality. My entire life. A way to increase your time on Earth they advertised as. All by recycling your memories right before death. The protocol for the chip would be to have you run through your memories again in an instant over and over right before you died. In your few brief moments you'd extend your lifespan so much.
          Studies of the brain showed it worked, but naturally nothing showed the living what happened. And now I knew. I learned personally the downside the living would never know. The chip inside your brain would make you “forget your memories” so that you could re-experience them. But inventors never thought to program it to forget the actual memory of you reliving your memories. The act of my life flashing before my eyes became a memory of its own separate from the life it made me forget. In the end after one re-experiencing of my life I would just keep reliving my life knowing exactly what would happen each time.
        And when I knew I living a simulation I felt a bleakness unlike any other. I had no control. If it worked as intended I would experience this movie like I made the choices I would have made. Eventually I started to mentally separate from the person I watched. That person in the memories and myself were no longer the same. I watched the movie of my old life enough, thought of it enough, felt enough regrets, re-evaluated my life, changed my philosophies and opinions...that we were no longer the same.

     I wished that I could live my own separate life. However the fact that I even existed as an entity violated nature. The chip simply made me by having the mind speed up its mental processing during the final moments before death. Perhaps in another few hundred reincarnations I would run out of extended time. In the end I could only think of myself as a ghost.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Mechanical Colossus

“Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!”
Rome* #quote

Hung out with CJ today. Fortunately it was not the execution kind of hanging. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Mechanical Colossus

         Exhaust shot from twelve different pipes. The monster of a robot needed three massive engines just to operate its legs. Sixty foot? That would be a good guess of its size, though a bystander would likely be crushed by the monster of a machine's feet before they could pinpoint anything exact. The feet consisted of blocks of steel covered in long claws and tank treads. The legs appeared serpentine, made of some strange alloy that could bend and flex yet support the weight of the construct.
         The body's shape held no symmetry or normal shape. An artist would vomit at the sight of such an ugly polygon with hundreds of sides and random looking angles. Yet those angles served their purpose as out of them positioned in some sort of organized chaos various arms, pipes, cameras, weapons, sensors, speakers and devices of all kinds popped out. Carefully positioned for some kind of optimized functionality, at least in the eyes of the builder of the machine.
        The head served as an entry way as the cockpit was deep in the belly of the beast and the sensors and cameras covered its body. The head was covered in two things: spikes and the door they protected.

        The robot stomped around the backyard of its super villain owner's house. While in the cockpit the owner muttered to himself, “What a waste of a good giant robot. But if this doesn't scare away that loud, obnoxious woodpecker I don't know what will.”

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Superpowers

 “Close enough.”
Cupid* #quote

CJ's coming over today so that'll be enterfunment. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


           A unique radioactive reaction turned me, a regular guy, into a man with super speed. I thought my name of Victor would be a distant memory, or just a some part of my secret identity. I imagined that I would experience the life of the super hero.
          However society held different plans for me. I've got no super villains to fight so I tried to become a police officer. But that meant that I didn't have a secret identity. The military offered me a job and I decided to take it, thinking I could do more there. But before I managed to get into the field some other people had different ideas for me after the tests on my powers were done.
         “Victor, the Commander in Chief says you're taken off of any field duty and deployed to a base.”
           When I got to the base there was a hamster wheel. The largest I'd ever seen. They'd built it for me. I soon learn that people learned that I was the greenest of energy and decided to use me for energy. I ran so fast that I could fill massive batteries in a single hour.

           Now I wonder what would have happened if I'd gotten the power of flight.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Big Mermaid

 “What's the big idea?”
Tom Thumb* #quote

A mathematician may tell you it takes n+1 licks to get to the center of a tootsie-pop. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Big Mermaid

          A mermaid by the name of Shelly was born just like any other but soon grew much larger. Rapidly and rapidly she grew, first to the size of a whale. Whales were normal things for the sea so even at this point mermaid society didn't discriminate against her, but more saw her as a novelty. Her life was happy.
        However one day Shelly swam through a sea cave that'd she swam through a year before but bumped it so that it caved in behind her. She didn't think much of this. The cave possessed a tunnel that went out to another side. But when she reached it she couldn't fit through the exit. She'd grown in the last year and couldn't get out. The growth spurts of youth trapped the big mermaid, the much wider fish-half of her body getting stuck every time.
         So that's where the big mermaid lived. While smaller mermaids may go on adventures, only after a few years of childhood the big mermaid poked her upper body out of the cave and grabbed food as it passed. She started to use her tail as bait, putting the very tip out and slightly wiggling it to give the appearance of a small fish. Her friends came by, but since she could only engage in conversation and not swim around the ocean like most mermaids they dwindled to only very close ones.

         But with close friends and a calm life came some things that the exciting adventures of smaller mermaids don't have. Peace.  

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Boogiemen

The Lockness Monster* #quote

You ever think the [ bracket is jealous of the { bracket because it's more pretty? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Barry The Boogieman

         A boogieman prepared to scare a child. He had to build up his reputation as a creature of the night if he wanted to hang out with the ghosts. Boogieman had it rough though. They stuck to closets and children since they were too scared of adults. They were weak creatures and could be beaten up very easily by even a thirteen year old. An adult served as a monster to them. Only the other sympathetic creatures of the night made for good company. A few boogiemen tried to scare who they could to appear tougher. That was the mission of Barry this night.
        However Barry made a mistake. Instead of using his nightmare magic to teleport into the closet of a young child, he teleported into the closet of a full grown man. An ex-marine who woke up suddenly and quite alert when the boogieman shouted. When Barry realized his mistake he started to dash towards the closet but the marine grabbed him.
Barry nearly wet his pants, but managed to say “Nice weather we're having?”
          “It's night.”
          “But a nice one!”

          “Right...” The marine continued the conversation and managed to convince himself he was still asleep. The two became fast friends and Barry became one of the most renowned boogiemen.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Worst Time Traveler

“Ticket please.”
St. Peter* #quote

When you close the refrigerator the ketchup and mustard hold wild parties. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Worst Time Traveler

         Hello, I am Doctor Davis Jointgear. Some call me a time traveler. Most call me amazing. How do I travel through time? Well, I'll show you dear reader. You will travel through time as I utter my magic words. Hallo, jalla, balla, bumble, fumble, jukebox, junkbox, elephant, toaster, chocolate, sundayyyyyy!

         Now do you feel it? We're in the future right? My proof-positive, undeniable way of traveling from the past to the future. With patience and a few magic words you can travel to the future too. The other scientists call me a crackpot, but we are in the future right? It's a different time than when we started. And don't give me any of that “we did nothing”. There were the magic words and everything! I don't care what they say, my time travel is special, I'm a doctor just like them...and I don't need to wear the jacket anymore. Please?

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Today's #flashfiction 2+2=Story

“Keep it simple.”
Rube Goldberg* #quote

There is no such thing as paranormal activity, at least that's what the ghost told me. Anyway onto the flash fiction!




Monday, June 20, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Game Of The Deep One

 “Honor thy mother and father.”
Lizzie Andrew Borden* #quote

I'm playing this video game with an interesting story. Instead of playing a single character you switch between the perspective of many characters over time. Many years in time actually. In fact I'm at a point in the story where a character I controlled at the age of like 30 died of old age. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Game Of The Deep One

         One day Cthulhu, the powerful elder god, purchased a video game. He liked it a lot. Like a lot, a lot, a lot. Like a little kid and cookies. So he decided to buy more video games. He totally got into gaming. He knew all the trivia and stuff even. And one day after realizing his true love of video games he decided to make his own.
         He gathered the other Deep Ones to help him come up with the game concept. The concept would be unspeakable without driving one mad(if one could find a way to sufficient explain it any human language) and to write it down would merely cause the same effect and make an invitation for any poor soul to read it to suffer the same madness as the person who transcribed the game concept. Only the Elder Gods and other mighty beings could comprehend the game concept and keep their minds in form.
          So woe to the programmers that Cthulhu hired to program the game for him. When they signed up to work for him they thought their boss was just using some sort of fantasy company name. But unfortunately the poor souls were wrong and in the end their mind was twisted when they met their boss and saw his True Form and learned of his game concept when he pitched it to them. But at least the pay was good along with the health plan.
          No computer in existence could handle his game. He had to use his powers to craft new one. The computer had to twist the space around it to make colors and sounds that didn't exist before his game to display it. The factories that managed the computer's and game's production had to be placed inside a sealed pocket universe as the power released by production would have destroyed our universe if let unrestrained.

         And so after production Cthulhu's game was released. Critics played the game and went insane from doing so. Some liked it. But those who gave it bad reviews promptly had their souls devoured by Cthulhu.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Magical Statistics

“Twinkle, twinkle little star.”
Galileo* #quote

I went to Bookman's today with my family and got some old things, one being an old magazine that had a preview column for a video game that'd had been out for several years now. Heh, it's like I'm doing a really, really lame form of time travel.

Magical Statistics

40% of wizards prefer the Pegasus over the dragon for long-distance air travel.
60% of goblins are Amish-Buddist-Raccoon-Cultists Traditionalists
70% of ogres are avid gamers and 30% of active user accounts on YBox Live are ogres.
90% of witches find wizards sexier without the traditional, messy, long beard.
55% of vampires do not sparkle, they twinkle.

100% of the human and animal body parts necromancers use in Worldwide Necromancer Association are legally acquired and not stolen from graves or innocent bystanders. At least, that's what they claim on their tax returns.

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Nocturnal

 “Our greatest natural resource is in the minds of our children.”
Lord Voldemort* #quote

I wonder how different our world would be if instead of hamster balls they were hamster icosahedrons. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


          Ben the bat just reached adulthood and so had become set in the ways of his other bat brethren. Sleep during the day and hunt at night. Like his brothers and sisters he used sonar during the night and what he could of his eyes, bat's aren't blind as the saying goes but Ben didn't get much use out of his in the darkness of night in comparison to his sonar.
          And so his life went. The usual cycle of hunt-sleep that animals are bound by. However one spring an obnoxious snore woke Ben and he flew out of the cave half-asleep. Only when the overwhelming brightness of day hit him did Ben fully awake from his slumber and notice he was flying out at the wrong time. No moon hung overhead, but rather the Sun, making every single beautiful spring color visible.

        The vibrant flowers, the strange animals, the new tones of every object. Nothing was like it was at night. The world wasn't what it was meant to be. Ben flew back into the cave and tried to forget it all, sleep the day away along with all that sunlight and color so that he could hunt in the night again.

Friday, June 17, 2016

Today's #flashfiction A 4D Pizza Delivery

“Loreal hair gel, because I'm worth it.”
Albert Einstein* #quote

Jessica's coming over tomorrow, so that's radicalriffic. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

A 4D Pizza Delivery

         Drayiu is a very air-headed multidimensional creature who kept forgetting things he wanted on his pizza while he ordered it. To make sure he could have his pizza on time he kept bending space-time so he could keep asking over and over again and alter the spatial state of the pizza to make sure it had everything. The pizza delivery place computers couldn't tell much what was going on but every human could tell something was off. (Drayiu was an multidimensional creature who had decided to retire on Earth because of the wonderful weather and food. He had to disguise himself as a human though, tentacles would be socially awkward.) Everyone kept feeling deja vu(and every time Drayiu forgot an ingredient and had to mess with time again and reorder plus scramble everybody's memory) the deja vu got more intense. And nobody in the pizza place could rationalize why all the clocks suddenly were off a bit. (Drayiu couldn't alter time completely and each time a millisecond built up and eventually each clock in the pizza joint changed a little)
         And the thing that baffled the pizza place the most is why they had fifty different receipt copies for one guy in the computer's memory when they all swore he ordered once. But no matter the confusion on the side of the pizza place at least Drayiu got his pizza hot and kinda-sorta in thirty minutes or less.

         Also he ate the pizza with Schrödinger's cat.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Talbot Robot

 “When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...”
Dolly the Sheep* #quote

My friend Jessica's coming over this weekend. That'll be more fun than a monkey full of barrels. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Talbot Robot

Talbot Robot sat on a wall.
Talbot Robot had a great fall.
All the company's scientists and all the company's interns,

Couldn't repair Talbot together again.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Mingling Books

“I've got your back.”
Marcus Junius Brutus* #quote

I went to the dentist today. Not the most funriffic of experiences. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Mingling Books

          After hours in the library the books socialized and had their fun. The history books were often the most laid back, the romance were the rowdy ones, the fantasy and science fiction told their tales and invented new ones in social circles, and horror books tended to stand in the corners and sulk. The other books had their own roles and they often mingled. One children's book, the forever young-minded beings, spoke it's opposite, the encyclopedia on one humid night when all the books stayed as far away from vents and moisture as they could.
         “Mister Encyclopedia,” the book asked, “where do books come from?” The history books were laid back, but the encyclopedias were just stoic. Quiet, they hardly even talked to each other. They sat alone, contemplating their own contents.
           The encyclopedia spoke, “From printers.”
          “What is a printer?”
           “A machine.”
           “What is a machine?”
           “It seems we have much to discuss,” the encyclopedia said. Normally ignored the encyclopedia answered the other books questions for hours. The books then rested the next day as humans used them. Except for the encyclopedia. He was used rarely to double check some facts. But people didn't read him like they used to. That was what the Internet was for.

             However now with the other book to talk to someone used his knowledge just as much as they used to.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Ben's Puzzle

“I don't have time for this.”
Dorian Grey* #quote

On my game I am now working on the most exciting part...menus! And the ever so riveting test fonts. At least I haven't accidentally lit anything on fire. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Ben's Puzzle

      Ben dumped a jigsaw puzzle out from a box. Over time he put it together with great thought and dedication. It slowly became a marvel of effort, a massive reward in itself. The lines of the pieces that segmented the image revealed that the puzzle contained one thousand pieces. Ben devoted an entire table to it and week to complete it.
       After Ben took a picture of it he pulled it apart and dumped it back into the box. Next he dumped another jigsaw puzzle he bought at the store onto the table and the process began anew.

Monday, June 13, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Harry's Tower

 “That's irrelevant.”
Albert Einstein* #quote

Remember to not forget that thing that you remembered. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Harry's Tower

         Little baby Harry saw his daddy stack his toy blocks into a tower once. Harry loved the tower, all big and tall and made by his daddy. He wanted to make a tower just like it and be just as smart and strong as daddy. Harry worked his best to remember how his daddy built the tower and began his work.
         He grabbed the C and dragged it in front of him. Then he grabbed the B block with his left arm. His pudgy fingers dropped the block. It tumbled. Harry resisted crying. He didn't want help and he wanted to make daddy proud. He tried again with a tighter grip. It didn't work. When he pulled the C block along the ground there was no gravity to fight. But here he had to fight gravity. He used both arms this time. His fat palms smashed into both sides of the B block and he raised it above the C block and set it down.
         He looked at the A block. He put his hands on it like he did the B block but he soon realized as he raised the block that his arms could not reach high enough to place it on top. He thought he couldn't finish. That the tower would never be complete. Then he remembered that special thing he did with the help of his daddy. He remembered standing.
         Harry moved around his body trying to figure out how to do it on his own. Eventually he started to rise, his developing legs pushing him from the ground. These muscles felt sore, he'd only began to use them. But by rising his body, just barely, with all strength in his tiny body he managed to place the block atop the tower.

         He looked at it in awe, but soon decided it was time for a nap.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Carl The Calculator

 “The roof is on fire!”
Smokey The Bear* #quote

Went to the bookstore today and out to lunch, was quite fun. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Carl The Calculator

         Carl the calculator was fine with people pushing his buttons. After all, that's how they asked him questions. Questions he answered with ease. Because of all the people that asked him for help Carl figured he must be the greatest at math ever. Over time though he realized that this ability was a talent given to him from birth, and that his talent was infallible.

         However this soon drained him. What does life mean when you cannot fail? When all people ask of you is to use a talent given to you, not earned. Carl couldn't figure out what any of his emotions added up to any more. So depressed he kept doing his labor as asked, feeling like less than zero.

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Eliza The Cloud

“Debit or credit?”
Boatman of the River Styx* #quote

CJ didn't come over this weekend so that's unfortunate. Oh well, I still had fun defending the world from the threat of rise of the lawn gnomes. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Eliza The Cloud

             A massive storm gave birth to many clouds, each one moving along the sky. Eliza was one of these clouds, and like all the others she poured her rain on the Earth below, happily water to whatever needed it below. She said hello to the people below with each clap of thunder from her lightning. However her voice began to weaken as she became whiter. She slowly stopped being the darkest of storm clouds and became white and fluffy like a timid bunny. Though she lost her voice, she didn't lose her strength. She still poured down what water she could onto the ground below, giving what she could.

           Then she started to lose what she could give. Her body started to break apart. And soon she didn't want to give the water. It was all she had left. She needed it to be. What she had left wasn't extra. But it fell anyway and Eliza the cloud vanished from the sky, all her water now droplets scattered on the surface of the Earth.

Friday, June 10, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Ghost's 9 to 5

“Hygiene is two thirds of health.”
Psycho* #quote

CJ might be coming over tomorrow, so that could be fun. Unless those kids and their stupid dog get in the way. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Ghost's 9 to 5

9 AM: Clock into Work; Begin light flickering

10 AM: Finish light flickering; start wood creaking

11 AM: Finish wood creaking

NOON: Lunch break, ectoplasm sandwich...again;

1 PM: Finish wood creaking;Start spooking animals

2 PM: Finish spooking animals; start tapping people's shoulders.

3 PM: Finish tapping peoples shoulders;start making moaning noises

4 PM: Finish making moaning noises; begin making mysterious shadows.

5 PM: Finish shadows, Clock out of Work; Update Steve before he takes over the night shift.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Kaboom Is The New Yellow

“Let me hold that for you.”

You'd think that a paper jam would be a song that you'd sing while doing origami. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Kaboom Is The New Yellow

          In a parallel universe there exists only one difference. Sounds are colors and colors are sounds. At least in the brain. Though sounds are still vibrations in that universe the brain interprets them as colors. A loud explosion causes a brain in that universe to experience the brightest of yellows in their mind. While looking at a lemon would cause their brains to experience the sensation of a loud explosion. Sight is sound, sound is sight and not a bit of the physical world is different there.
          Both universes had a Leonardo Da Vinci and both painted a Mona Lisa.
          Which do you think is the better painting?

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Testaments Of The Pieces

“Let's take a breather.”
Darth Vader* #quote

I wonder if there's a music genre called “chips” that would go good with salsa. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Testaments Of The Pieces

         The Pawn: I often feel the first touch of attention. Then I often then become the first acceptable loss.
         The Knight: I don't feel as noble as the real human ones do. I feel deceptive and sneaky. I break the rules the other pieces must follow as I jump over pieces. I escape situations that other pieces would die in. I feel like I have unfair advantage over my brothers.
         The Bishop: I zig-zag through life, often passing by others as I take pieces. I feel like I'm being judged when I pass by them.
          The Rook: I don't feel much. I go straight. I stop. I go straight again. What more is there to life?
          The Queen: Everyone loves me. I can do what the rook and the bishop can do. I feel like the most valuable piece on the board because I am.
          The King: I feel like a constant burden. The players never defend me because I'm useful. They only defend me because I will make them lose. And when the opponent goes after me it is not because I am a threat, it is because I am vulnerable. I think I'm the most useless piece on the board.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Victor's Reality

  “Like taking candy from a baby.”
Willy Wonka* #quote

When someone draws a conclusion, if its the wrong one, what's the best way to erase it? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Victor's Reality

        Victor experienced reality like everyone else, but chose to interpret as he chose. He possessed a vivid imagination since childhood, and reimagined the world he saw. He never told anyone about how he changed the world as they would be called anything from “childlike fantasy” to “delusions”.
         To normal people he was a man of average height and plain black hair yet vibrant brown eyes. But in his imagination he pretended he was a knight with wonderful looks and great charisma. The suits he wore for business were armor. The care he drove turned into carriage he rode through a magical land with great sights everywhere.
          At work his boss was a king who gave him orders to slay monsters using the magical devices handed down by the ancients. The computers in the office were the magical devices in reality. The other knights in his order of demon slayers his coworkers.
          And that was only one story he made his life into, although one of the most common ones. And the most fateful. This fantasy had his king called him into his throne room. In the throne room the king told Victor he was “fired”. Victor's fantasy turned these words into flames spewing from his mouth. His trusted king must have been possessed by a demon. He needed to give him a merciful death.
          So Victor did give his king a merciful death. And in reality he was convicted in a court for murder. Since then his fantasies transformed his prison into many different strange and wonderful magical lands.    

Monday, June 6, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Ghost's Ghost

“Words are meaningless”
Noah Webster* #quote

Why does betraying have nothing to do with being a tray? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Ghost's Ghost

         After becoming a ghost it took Thomas several years to get used to his ethereal body. But then he haunted. Making strange noises and other phenomenon here and there. Often with the help of his other ghost friends. Haunting was merely a way for him to pass the time, as it was for all ghosts. One day, on a haunting trip Thomas began to feel strange. His ethereal body started to vanish, his cloudy body breaking apart like someone waved their hand to clear the air.
         Thomas figured at this point he would learn what would happen to ghosts when they die. Perhaps he would move on. The entire world wasn't filled with ghosts, so that meant that not every person becomes a ghost. He was curious what the other side was like. However he didn't get the answer to that question. He simply became a ghost-ghost. Ghost-ghosts are creatures who cannot be seen by humans or ghosts and who's supernatural phenomenon cannot be observed by people. But they can be observed by ghosts.
         So Thomas found other ghost-ghosts and began passing time by haunting ghosts.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Princesses And Princes

  “Let's meet in the middle.”
King Solomon* #quote

Had fun hangin' with CJ today. I'm glad our hanging out never involves nooses. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Princesses And Princes

         Princess Katrina of the Silver Kingdom didn't take well to suitors, like many princesses of the magical lands. But like many princesses her destiny would be to fall in love with a prince from another kingdom that saved her from a great peril that befell her. It happened like clockwork. That's why princes from all the kingdoms became knights, to fend off the monsters that whisked away the princesses.
         However Princess Katrina did something that most princesses did not. She didn't use magic to get around, she climbed about ever since she was a little girl. This was a special detail since when people sneak with magic it can be detected, but when you're careful enough with natural movement you can sneak along normal. So Katrina could eavesdrop when she pleased. However she didn't gossip. For someone who spied she was oddly moral. And by not gossiping nobody ever caught on she was learning anything secret at all.
          So she managed to learn one of the biggest secrets of them all.
From a tiny crack in the wall Princess Katrina watched her father and one of her potential suitors talking to a crystal ball. Usually this meant discussion with diplomats. But here the voice coming from the ball was deep, and inhuman. The face that Katrina could see was covered in scales. They were speaking to a dragon.
          “Two hundred cattle to be paid over five years,” the king said. “That's final or I'm getting another dragon.”
          The dragon then replied, “It's worth it. I'll scare her good. I'll kidnap her next Tuesday as agreed. Last battle rehearsal is this Saturday.”
           Katrina didn't say anything, as she always had when she heard something shocking when listening in. She wasn't sure whether to be grateful or not that'd she seen the truth. She went off to bed with thoughts swirling in her mind. Did all the princesses in the magical land fall in true love because of these scripted kidnappings?
            At least she knew that she'd be able to make sure that she'd find true love and not be fooled by the charade. Though she'd always have to wonder if it would have been better if she never knew.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Today's #flashfiction It's Good To Count On Others

  “Don't you love bring your child to work day?”
Darth Vader* #quote

It's easy to realize your mistakes, hindsight is 20/20. But that doesn't mean you should always be looking backwards. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

It's Good To Count On Others

         Terry won big again at poker. His earnings for today were through the roof. He loved it. He'd never won this much in his life before. Over and over again with regularity he'd been winning. The day couldn't get any better.
         Then casino security approached Terry and they escorted him to speak with the owners. They'd busted him for card counting. Terry would be banned from casinos and he'd have his winnings taken. Terry cried as the thousands of dollars vanished in that moment.
         This moment was especially tragic for Terry since he didn't count cards that day. Mathematician Kevin, another player at the table, did count cards. Kevin always made money when going to the casinos, but always less than the other people at the table. He made them the big winners while he made a steady profit. Kevin was a machine in his mind and a wonderful actor and charismatic manipulator. He made the game move how he wanted so that one person won big while he tagged along in back.
        Kevin smiled when he saw Terry being dragged away. The first time his plan worked it shocked him. But after the three hundreth, it became mundane and funny. Kevin left and decided he would cash in. He knew he couldn't win too much today after all.

Friday, June 3, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Alien's Contraband

“Spring is in the air.”
Eddard Stark, Game Of Thrones* #quote

I wonder what would happen if they cast Arnold Schwarzenegger as Willy Wonka for another adaptation of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Alien's Contraband

          A space cop pulled over Yucv the alien above Earth's orbit, the planet unaware of their extraterrestrial guests. Yucv was carrying Vonrum, best translated as Dangeranium, a highly illegal and valuable substance that can only be handled by authorized labs but was worth more than anything else on the black market.
         In their alien language they spoke to each other over their communicators. The cop asked from his UFO, “Sir do you have any idea why I pulled you over?”
Yucv prayed to every god from every world he could think of that the officer didn't detect his Dangeranium, but he figured that he may as well be in prison now. Or maybe he should activate his warp drive and try to flee. “No officer,” he replied.
         “Your mysterious lights are out around your UFO. You know the Lesser World Advancement act made it mandatory that all ships have mysterious lights on to encourage lesser worlds like the one below to explore the stars on their own.”
          Yucv originally turned off his mysterious lights to avoid detection by the space cops, but since he already been spotted he might as well be a nice image in the nice sky for the humans to see.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Beauty See By The Beholder

 “Some people just seem to have a green thumb.”
Kermit The Frog* #quote

CJ should be coming over this weekend so that'll be more fun than a barrel full of apes. Yup, I went above and beyond monkeys. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Beauty Seen By The Beholder

         Day in and day out beauty enters my eye. I am the Beholder. A great mythical eye-creature that absorbs all the beauty in the universe to understand and interpret it. To give it true, consistent definition so that it may take form in the souls of those of the universe.
And it sucks.
         So much beauty has lead me to a sort of perpetual state of boredom. Explaining what it's like to humans would be impossible. By your very nature you couldn't understand it. The feeling of knowing all beauty and all possible versions. I suppose its like this. If you knew all the possible tastes in the universe what would flavor be to you? That is what it is like to know all the beauty in the universe. Truly I wish I didn't know it all at once like this. Or at least if I could be allowed to see more ugliness. But I cannot neglect my duties.
        Enjoy your ignorance and ability to see the underside of the world humans. It truly is a gift.   

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Nate The Neuron

 “Everyone has their fifteen minutes of fame.”
The Geico Gecko* #quote

People may knead bread but they don't always need bread. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Nate The Neuron

          Nate the Neuron passed on one piece of the puzzle. A fraction of a fraction of a much larger item. The information he got came from his neighbor, who got it from their neighbor going down a massive line. And that's just for the one small bit he got. A dash of blue. That's the message he carried. As a sole neuron Nate didn't concern himself with the big picture. He just knew that somehow the Mind formed on the backs of his brothers and sisters and it would worry about whatever the dash of blue meant.

         The dash of blue connected with other dashes of blue to form the image of a shirt, along with other colors and details to reveal the man that the Mind was going on a date with. Nate and other neurons kept doing their work as the body belonging to the Mind moved and laughed. It was a beautiful night and eventually it would lead to more dates and more wonderful nights. And eventually Nate would help the mind see an altar and the Mind would live happily ever after.