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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Who Built The Fourth Wall

“My eyes are up here.”
Medusa* #quote

Labor Day is coming up. Since you don't work on Labor Day shouldn't it be Break Day? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Who Built The Fourth Wall


         In stories there's something called the fourth wall. Some of you may know this term. It's the barrier between the audience and the characters, and when the character addresses the audience and admits they are in a story they are breaking the fourth wall.
But the real question is, who built the fourth wall?
         We couldn't know the person's name, man or woman, it must have been one of the first storytellers. One of the first people that sat down all those years when language first sprung into being in the ancient times and they gathered around campfires or in caves to tell stories.
         The first person who came up with some characters, or maybe just one, they just had to be fictional, and set them on some fictitious journey. Back then they may have been hunters that story teller wanted to exist just so he could possibly be them. Maybe a hero he wished would exist in a time of crisis.
         And when this story came to be he had to have created such a scenario so emotionally engaging that the readers could feel like they were actually observing characters in some way. Back then they really didn't have walls. But a forth wall was created. A wall of the imagination that the audience stood behind and watched the characters behind and the storyteller let it all unfold. Whatever hunters and heroes he created or whatever figments of his imagination.

         This storyteller built that wall and we keep building that wall today, and breaking it down, when we need to. Maybe just for our characters to do a quick joke to the camera or the reader. Hey, there's a crack in the wall of this story. I should patch it up later.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Dark Fairy's Employment

The Dark Fairy's Employment

          My wings flicker as I sit in my cubicle writing. I look to the wall of my cubicle to see my name: Jerry Deathtwinkle, on my employee of the month award. I want to win it again. Next time it'll come with a pay raise and maybe I can afford a suitable wedding ring for my love Sally Doomglitter. Plus a good wedding in due time for the perfect dark fairy couple like us.
         The boss issued me to write a script for a six-year-old human girl. Seems he wanted me to really bring her fear of spiders up and gave me an order for a level 8 script. This left me ecstatic. Level 8 would let me unleash my imagination on the girl and I could really impress the boss.
         My script would begin with the girl playing normally in her house. But after a few moments of calm, just enough to keep her secure, the giant spiders would appear. They would chase her through her house and no matter how hard she ran she could never escape them. And she would keep running and I would change her home just a bit so it would loop forever and she would be too terrified to notice.
         Especially since the walls and ceiling would eventually turn into spiders. They wouldn't collapse so she would still be chased throughout the now spider house. Eventually she will find her parents and jump into their arms...but her parents will turn into spiders. The parents will collapse on top of her along with the entire building and all the other spiders. That's when the nightmare ends.

        Yes, my perfect nightmare script. I'll get a promotion for sure! And my future wife and I will have the most beautiful wedding. I can already imagine her magnificent ring and dress and the smile she'll get from having it all.  

Monday, August 29, 2016

Today's #flashfiction What The Story Could Say

“Live and learn.”
Dracula*


What's black, white and red all over? A penguin rolling down a hill! Anyway onto the flash fiction!


What The Story Could Say

A story decided it could say:

        The character is first happy.
        The character is then sad.
        The character is you'd like.
        The character is you'd hate.
        The character is pure.
        The character is sinful.
        The character is hypothetical.
        The character is symbolic.


But afterward the reader decided what the story would say.  

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Meowser And Fluffy

“There's something in my eye.”
Inspector Gadget* #quote


It's good when something is rosy. It's bad when something gets thorny. But shouldn't both always happen at the same time? Anyway onto the flash fiction!




Meowser And Fluffy

         Meowser laid on his warm bed next to the wall. An old white cat he didn't care much for moving or noise. His primary activities involved sleeping and watching everyone if he cared to do it. Normally noise remained at tolerable levels all the time. Until they got him. That little brown nuisance.
         They called him Fluffy. They gave the runt a bed right next to his own but the new kitten enjoyed moving around causing a ruckus and the humans enjoyed playing with him in the loudest of manners. Making all sorts of obnoxiously loud cutesy noises. They brought over more humans to see Fluffy. And the clawing. The humans bought a new scratching post and when the new pest clawed away at it the sound worked its way right into Meowser's head and bounced around again and again grinding against his brain. He wondered how he could have possibly not been this annoyed at his own scratching. He wanted to hiss at the new nuisance at his life and make it run away. But he felt way too old for that.

         Then one day Fluffy decided to lie up against Meowser in his bed and fall asleep. Quiet. Fluffy gently slept with slow, gentle silent breaths. Meowser looked at the kitten and thought of either clawing or hissing at the nuisance in his life. But then he just fell asleep. He decided that the kid will learn to be quiet sooner or later and it'd be too much effort to shut him up. However if the humans get a dog there will be hell to pay.  

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Wizard's Virus

“Clothes make the man.”
The Cat in The Hat* #quote

If the world was flat do you think some people would be made fun of for thinking it was round? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Wizard's Virus

         “Aw, crud no.” The wizard banged his hand on his keyboard and then frantically clicked around with his mouse checking all his spell files. Text documents of magic words, pictures of runes, spreadsheets of magical creature species. He looked through his entire computer and almost all his data was ruined and hacked. Files missing and damaged. “What happened?”
         His Internet browser was still open from the night before. Looking at that he realized what happened. He downloaded pirated enchantment data for school. When he downloaded it he thought “What's one stolen spell gonna cost me?”. But apparently whoever uploaded the data for the enchantment file, hid a virus inside. All the magically formed programs and files loaded into the mystic gems in his hard drive(wizards favored gems over disks and other data storage means). All ruined. And maybe even stolen from him.
      A creepy voice then filled the room, “Youuuuu...I'veeeee comeee tooo tormmeennnttt youuuu forrr the ressssttt of yourrrr dayyyssss...” The wizard put his hand to head and moaned. He knew that was a ghost. The illegal enchantment he downloaded was not only a virus, but a curse, that gave him a new ghost haunting his computer. Maybe he should have just downloaded the enchantment legally.


Friday, August 26, 2016

Today's #flashfiction All For Fairness

 “Eat right and exercise.”
The Cookie Monster* #quote

Some advice people keep giving is to “get off your computer and read something”. Maybe it is good advice. Reading is good for ya. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

All For Fairness

          I'm finally satisfied with my chess games. My opponent is neither too easy or too hard. I play in my dad's laboratory while the assistant robot watches. I move the black pieces and a white pieces. I take both turns but still have no idea what my opponent will do.
          The assistant robot glared at me with his robot eyes. Dad always liked to make his robots able to express some sort of emotion, even superficially. “Your father would not approve of you using his equipment like this.”
           I smiled and said in unison with my opponent, “That's why I ordered you to never tell him.”
The opponent that sat across from me was myself from a month in the future. Enough time to forget the specifics of the game and which one of us won. I never liked how games had unequal opponents. And yourself from a short distance in the future was as equal as you could get. The art of chess was certainly a just cause for the use of my father's time machine.

          Oh, and if you're curious as to the outcome of that game, black won.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Hidden Contortionist

“Everything is half off!”
King Solomon* #quote

        Jessica will be coming over this weekend, and along with CJ it will be a good ol' fun time. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Hidden Contortionist

          Adrian the contortionist was only eight when he began to master his skill, and now he packed his body into the top shelf of the pantry, even managing to shut the door behind him. Fresh air only came from under the door so the scent of dry foods and wood surrounded him. Light only came from under the door as well, Adrian, with his head twisted along with his body parts, saw a shaft of light up from the ground.

           An incredibly loud yell filled the kitchen. It boomed so intensely that it pierced the pantry door with ease. “Adrian! I know you're in this house somewhere! And when I find you, you will clean your room!”

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Today's #flashfiction John And The Johns

“Just put your mind to it.”
Woody Woodpecker* #quote

CJ might be coming over this weekend so that'll be a shipment of fun. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

John And The Johns

         John and ten other versions of himself stood in a room looking rather confused. A large blackboard was covered in mathematical writings from all of them. Before this they had set upon each other with knives before they lost track of things.
         “So okay, let's go over this again. You went back in time to kill me,” one John pointed to another.
         “Yes, so you wouldn't go back in time to kill the me who wanted to kill me,” That one responded.
         “But wait, how would that help you?”
         “Because I help me...right?” Another John chimed in. “Wait, were you supposed to say that. I thought I was supposed to kill...”
         “No, I was supposed to stop the me that was trying to kill me,” another one said.
         “Which me?”
         “Um...you?” The Johns lost track of who was supposed to kill who. Their projections of how events should have unfolded in the time line and how time travel worked didn't go according to plan.            They expected multiverses and temporal distortions and other things. Instead they miscalculated and misunderstood the science and all wound up in a room together.
          “Maybe we should try to figure this out over lunch?” One of them suggested.

          They all agreed and a nearby restaurant was dumbfounded when they all arrived together.  

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Most Common Spells

 “I'm afraid you only have three months to live.”
Dr. Phil* #quote


When somebody knocks someone's lights out, who turns them back on? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Most Common Spells

         Once a group of wizard university students for a project did a poll to find out the most commonly used spells by wizards through wand analysis. Here are some of those spells.

Channel Flipicus
Snacktus Maketus
Silenci Canine
Get Mailitos
Change Babitus
Makeup Applicus
Laundry Cleanbos
Dish Washxuy

         An interesting discovery found from the student project was that one of the most used non-utility spells among many young students was “Get Dateticus”.


Monday, August 22, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Sole Survivor

“Rules were meant to be broken.”
Isaac Asimov* #quote


Some say a meteor killed the dinosaur. I say they could have eaten too much junk food. Anyway onto the flash fiction!



The Sole Survivor

          Around a thousand bodies filled the castle, each belonging to a powerful knight. One knight sat on a throne in the castle holding a sword. He knew he would never willingly let go of the sword. It was his ticket to immortality. A sword left behind by the gods he could feel stamina flowing through veins. He felt high on the eternal adrenaline it granted. Gray hairs he had vanished.
            Another knight came in and fought with him for that sword. He killed the knight. He wouldn't let the knight take his sword. He fought another knight that came in and killed that one. But the third one to arrive killed him and took the sword.
             A fair transaction. Originally he took the sword from another. All the thousand rotting bodies in the castle belonged to knights that fought over the blade and slew others to take it. The unfortunate conditions for eternal youth is that the holder may not leave the castle, share it, and it can only be taken by physical death. The sword transferred youth, but not true immortality. The bodies of all the previous holders being proof.

            The only real immortal, ageless, and invincible one in the castle was the sword. The average lifespan of someone holding the sword was just another year.  

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Couch Potato Farmer

“May the force be with you.”
Isaac Newton* #quote

Went to my card game thing today. Picked up a starter deck for the card game Force Of Will. Maybe I will try that will some people and see if that is fun. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Couch Potato Farmer

         The couch potato is the most curious new development of genetic engineering. Now considered the largest food crop it gets it name not only from the fact it is the size of a couch but also from the fact its growth is accelerated mostly by particular light frequencies. These light frequencies actually match those emitted from televisions and should be varied as the day goes on.
         This task is actually managed by me, a simple man by the name of Andrew, who has now turned watching television into his job. That and watching the readings along with it. I must flip channels based on readings corresponding to the couch potato's growth, looking at hundreds of TVs, hundreds of readings, and hundreds of couch potatoes. I flip channels appropriately. At some points a couch potato may grow best next to a TV show with football on, but in a moment my computer may tell me to change the channel to the weather. It is worth it however for the massive boon the crop gives.

        Next season I heard I may need to increase my understanding of literature so I can start managing the bookworms scientists developed on the farm. The wonders of genetic engineering!

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Today's #flashfiction A Man And His Gold

“Please leave a message after the tone.”
Ghostbusters* #quote

I went to Bookman's again today. Got an old game called Rayman there, on the inside of the box it said “Rayman 2, Coming 1999!” Wasn't that right before the end of the world when the Y2K bug destroyed us all? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

A Man And His Gold

          Felix of the gold rush found a gold mine with his two partners. And he killed his partners to make every drop of the fortune his own. Felix loved the idea of all that wealth. A week later, a few miles from the mine where he set up his camp, ruthless bandits killed him in his sleep and took his supplies. But Felix did not get to leave the mine.
         His ghost remained in that hole in the ground. He looked greedily at those little veins of yellow on the walls and all the signs he saw of gold while living and more while dead. As a spirit Felix even learned to travel through the stone walls of the mines and started to see the gold inside. He couldn't leave the mine, and it remained undiscovered by anyone else, so his only company was “his” gold and any cave animals around. From his loneliness he spoke to the cave animals about his vast wealth and how when he got out of the mine somehow all the wonderful things he would spend the money on. For over one hundred years this is how the murderer's undead life went.
         Then he heard loud noises. Noises of our modern era. Explosions, drilling, voices, vehicles. He went to the edge of the cave where he could see outside. When he wasn't looking at his gold he would enjoy the view from the little opening of the cave like a window. But now the opening was much larger, blown open. Many people were there. All with tools. Tools Felix recognized and many he didn't but one thing was for certain...he could tell they were miners. They began entering his home.
        He screamed at them and clawed at them as they entered. But they couldn't hear his voice and his ghost hands merely went straight through them. And the miners started mining. Felix screamed as he saw his gold being taken away. Straight from his mine. He found it. He killed for it. It should be his. That's what Felix believed. But whatever the ghost thought didn't matter. The miners just drilled, dug or whatever made sense at the time and slowly pulled bits of gold from the mine. All while the ghost still screamed at them or sobbed tears that would vanish as soon as they dropped from his ethereal body.

         The miners also scared the cave animals away. So all that remained was a deep hole in the ground with a murderous ghost in it. With nothing but loneliness by his side, Felix stared out the exit of the cave and looked at the Sun. Because the Sun was the only gold he had left to look at. At night the murderer simply cried.  

Friday, August 19, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Robot's Online Order

“I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids!”
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation* #quote


If the week keeps cycling does the weekend truly exist? Is Saturday and Sunday merely a temporal illusion linking the next Monday? Maybe it's something I'll figure out by next August. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


The Robot's Online Order

       The robot saved and saved, gathered coupon after coupon and made deal after deal with angels and devils alike. All so on the fateful discount day he could order on the magic Internet the ultimate item for a robot to need. Something all robots lust for... usually based on how sophisticated their artificial intelligence that is. Jealousy of humanity made him even beat down other robots who strive to take what was left in stock for him. The moment he could, he clicked.
       He bought a soul. He was so filled with whatever kinds of joy his robotic brain could emulate. He would finally be brought the satisfaction he so desired!

       Well, in 3-5 business days. He couldn't afford to order express delivery.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Birds And Stones

“No, I am Spartacus!”
What's My Line?* #quote



There are those who believe and fate and those who don't. But what about a philosophy with fate only some of the time? That is the reality I see. Inevitable circumstances that we then make choices within. Anyway onto the flash fiction!



Birds And Stones


       “Remember, it's best to kill two birds with one stone,” Billy's father told him with that same matter-of-fact tone he used when giving all fatherly advice. Billy took his father's advice very seriously, though at his young age metaphors, expressions and sayings were quite lost on him. But he decided that he would kill two birds with one stone.
         During summer break he was left to his own devices in the woods in the small town where he resided. He lived decades ago in a simpler time where while Mom cooked dinner and did laundry kids could wander in the big backyard of the woods if they were back by supper.
And while Billy was in the woods he would follow his father's most recent advice. And that would be to kill two birds with one stone. Problem was he didn't even know how to kill a bird with one stone.             So he first spent time trying that. Over and over again whatever bird he ran across he would take careful aim at and try to pelt with something he picked off the ground.
          He missed again and again. The birds moved again and again. Eventually after months of practice he hit a bird on a head. And with even more practice he hit even more on the head more consistently. He didn't think to bring the things back for dinner like when people hunted normally, but the foxes began to appreciate the boy presence. He ran when he saw them, so the foxes learned to follow the boy without being seen so he would kill birds for them.
          Eventually he killed two at once. And he brought them to his father with a big grin on his face. Holding them up to his old man he said, “Look! I killed two birds with one stone!”

        “What?” The father looked at the two birds baffled. He didn't remember the conversation. It'd been one and a half years.  

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The History Journals

 “Can you hear me now?”
E.T.* #quote


Played Scrabble with Grandma today. Z is a terrible menace. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


The History Journals


           The Callthorn family's house had it's own little library tucked away in the upper floor. The family never purchased it's books. Every single one of them was written by a member of the family. And not a single one of them fiction. Well at least if the author's word is to be believed, as they are all journals.
           In 1806 the great-great etc. Grandfather of the current generation Callthorns decided to make a journal of his hunting trips. Afterward he decided that he enjoyed writing a journal and wrote down what he did everyday and what he heard about everyday in the papers or from people around town. When the space in a journal ran out he went on to the next journal to write. (He did have the luxury to afford as many of these as he pleased. The Callthorn family was a rich lineage.) He suggested the practice to his son who took it on. The son had his children do it and over time the whole Callthorn linage made journals and sent them to the library. Every moment of history they lived and witnessed recorded in the family library.
        Their neighbors, the Redwoods, took a fancy to their idea after the first few generations did it. So two journal libraries of history co-existed right next to each other. Yet the journals told versions of events very differently as each family looked through the years of reality through separate eyes.

          Remember the last time you read a history book?  

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Paint The Canvas

 “Springtime is in the air.”
Eddard Stark, Game Of Thrones* #quote

        Remember to eat your food and vegetables and other food too. I hear eating is good for you. At least most doctors tell you that eating food is better than not eating food. Oh, I heard water is good for you too. But water could be one of those fad diet things. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Paint the Canvas



         Take a blank canvas. Paint a picture showing happiness. Then love, sadness then war. All with smiles and tears all over. Color in the inevitably of death. Represent wealth, put gold and money in piles all over. Paint books surrounded by gods, deities and spirits of all kinds. Then create an image of a demon for every kind of fear behind them. And further behind them put a small white dot like a distant star for each kind of hope against them. Surround it all with the backdrop of a planet filled with some wondrous nature. Title the painting humanity put your brush down.    

Monday, August 15, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Enigmatic Demon

 “The fork ran away with the spoon.”
The Matrix* #quote

We think that it's cute that it looks like some penguins wear tuxedos, but do you think penguins are horrified that some humans look they're wearing penguin skin? Anyway onto the flash fiction!


The Enigmatic Demon

         I am confronted with the most horrible and strange of demons . It howls with a breath that only breathes in, never out. It is tall, slender, hairless, eyeless. Sleek and almost entirely black. The thing is cold to the touch. Only a single limb comes out from the creature. A slim tail with three spikes on the end. Every time I see the terrifying beast I yell out to warn my family and friends of its presence and also out of a futile hope I can scare it away. I know I cannot harm it.

        “Calm down Spot, it's just the vacuum cleaner.” My best friend tells me. I keep warning him the best I can.  

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Great Psychic Wall

“Just remember to be yourself.”
Rich Little* #quote


Went to my pokemon card thing today. It was quite fun. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Great Psychic Wall


       “Daddy? What's behind the great psychic wall?”
       “Concepts. Concepts and ideas that could destroy us all.”
       “Destroy us?”
       “Yes, they are so terrible they could destroy all of society.”
       “All of it?”
       “We rely on our poets, writers, artists, musicians and other creative minds to fuel us to enlightenment. If we let those concepts through... we would all be doomed.”
       “W-what are those concepts? The concepts that could destroy all our creative minds?”
       “Son...those concepts are called clich├ęs.”


Saturday, August 13, 2016

Today's #flashfiction A Peaceful Lunch

“Let's split up gang!”
The Blair Witch Project* #quote


If in a game a cards your hand is the cards your holding, what's your feet? Anyway onto the flash fiction!



A Peaceful Lunch

         The rabbit could be called nature's most content animal. It found itself content in just eating grass from a field. Munch, munch, munching. Of all the emotions rabbits felt in their little head, no matter how limited from their brain size, the once they desired most was peace. And while nibbling away at the grass it did feel peace. What a wonderful lunch on a cheery, sunny day.

        And in a flash a wolf came from the shadows of trees nearby and grabbed the rabbit in its maw. It dashed back into the wood where it came. And while the wolf happily nibbled away at the rabbit it felt content and peaceful. What a wonderful lunch on a cheery, sunny day.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Today's #flashfiction A Book's Desire

“Healthy body, healthy mind.”
Garfield* #quote


Jessica's going to be coming over tomorrow so that'll be totally radical. Wonder where the expression radical came from. Probably from some math enthusiast. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

A Book's Desire

          Bram Stoker's Dracula sat on a shelf wrapped in a protective seal. Books love to be read, but this particularly copy of Dracula had never been read. And it was a first edition! So very valuable the collector refused to let it be damaged.
          Dracula didn't understand. Why didn't anyone want to find out what happened in its pages? The creature of paper couldn't fathom the fact that everyone knew its story. Or at least the general premise. It couldn't understand the value of collecting. It just knew that no one hugged it with their fingers and held it close while grabbed by the story in its ink.
          The book felt incredible excitement when a new owner purchased it. Finally! Someone to read it! Someone to love it! But this person merely placed it on a shelf for protection. And this was how the book lived. Exchanged between collectors again and again who carefully preserved it.

           Forever appreciated in a way it never understood.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Today's #flashfiction No Need To Write It Down

 “Yes, we have no bananas, we have-a no bananas today.”
Donkey Kong* #quote

If there's the abominable snowman do you think there's the agreeable snowman? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

No Need To Write It Down


       Pirate John Grave watched his ship sink from the shoreline. His crew escaped, but much of the wealth he plundered sunk to the bottom of the sea. His heart sank along with it. His crew felt the same. They knew that in their lifeboats they could get to the mainland from the island they were on, so they didn't feel completely dead. Only dead on the inside.
     “Captain,” The first mate always said the John Grave's title before addressing him, “What if we wrote down the location of the ship so that it could be found later?”

      Grave then replied, “That's crazy. It's underwater. Do you think that someday we'll have some magic way to dive underwater for hours like fish and then pull things from the bottom of the sea?”

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Alien's Shopping List

“Everything doesn't revolve around you.”
Galileo* #quote


My friend Jessica is coming over this weekend so that'll be fun. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Alien's Shopping List

3 UFO Headlights
1 Mysterious Light Emitter
1 How-To-Abduct Guide
1 Milky Way Traveler's Guide
1 Earth's Tour Guide
1 Memory Eraser
3 Spare Probes
36 Tentacle Socks
36 Tentacle Shoes
24 Contact Lenses
1 Space Suit
1 Universal Translator

1 Mini-Fridge w/ Soda and Snacks

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Is That Your Fatal Answer?

  “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!”
Mike Tyson* #quote

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer and your frenemies closest. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Is That Your Fatal Answer?


           “Now contestants, onto the next question!” The host sat in a chair on a floating platform far above the pit the contestant's were all trapped in. He wore a sadistic, smug grin and clean black suit. The last two contestants wore the blood of the others, usually the dead. The audience cheered from bleachers above the pit. On towers above sat snipers.
          “It's your turn Tom. It's only a few minutes till the end of the show we'll give you an easy one. To make sure you can finish your opponent. After all you want your freedom and we all want to see one last bullet!” The host waved his arms in the air to excite the crowd. He looked at the cameras to make sure they could get a few good shots of his face before they zoomed in on the contestants.
Tom knew the other contestant. Brittany. A teenager brought here based on a simple graffiti charge. Guess they just wanted a young girl in the pit for this week's show and brought her.
         “Alright Tom, since this is the final question is a fatal question. Now what's fifty plus fifty?”
The crowd started cheering, “Fatal answer, fatal answer, fatal answer!”
           “Two,” Tom responded.
           The host flinched, “Is t-that your fatal answer?” The crowd grew silent.
           “Yes.”

           “Y-your incorrect,” after the host said this Tom was shot and Brittany walked free. Because of this live TV moment where a criminal sacrificed himself the government propaganda of the time that supported these kind of punishments began being questione

Monday, August 8, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Bearilocks And The Three Campers

“Everyone is different.”
The Oompa Loompas* #quote

Some telemarketers can be real phonies. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


Bearilocks And The Three Campers


         Bearilocks strolled through the forest. She was a happy, hungry grizzly bear. And during her tromping around she found a camp. The family it belonged to was out fishing so she helped herself to it.
          She rummaged through the food.
          The chips were too salty.
          The chocolate was too sweet.
          The bacon was jussssttt right.
           And she saw the three tents belonging to the family. They looked much more comfy then a cave. The daughter's tent was too tiny. The father's tent was too large. The mother's tent was jusssttt right and Bearilocks went to sleep.
          The family came back from their fishing trip.
          “Mom, Dad, I think someone stole our food!”
           The father looked at the missing food and then his tent. “I think somebody went into my tent!”
           The daughter added, “Mine too!”
           The mother looked into hers and saw Bearilocks, “Grizzly bear! Get back in the car!”

And they drove off and never went camping again.

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Little Miss Fairy

 “The butler did it!”
Sherlock Holmes* #quote


Hanged out with CJ today. Hmmm...what would be the opposite of hanging out? Standing out? I don't think that's quite right. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Little Miss Fairy


Little Miss Fairy
Sat on a cherry
Eating some seeds and sugar

Along came a centaur
Who sat down beside her

And frightened Miss Fairy away

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Modern Ghost

 “I see dead people.”
Saint Peter* #quote


CJ should be coming over today, so that'll be a tower of fun. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


Modern Ghost

            The Brandys moved into the house of John, a recently deceased man who lingered in his home as a spirit. The sounds started with little creaks here and there. However they became louder and louder and more freqent. John began creating unexplainable drafts in their home when the windows were all shut. Their backs tingled from his touch. At this point the Brandys knew they had a ghost.
          “What do you want!?” The mother of the family yelled while their lights flickered and floor creaked on the night of a full moon.

            John replied with his ghastly voice, “Stop stealing my wi-fi!” John was a ghost of the 21st century and had only one real need. The family wanted to stay in their home however, so they did what they had to do. Buy top of the line Internet connection. Then they all lived(and un-lived in the case of John) happily ever after.

Friday, August 5, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Magical Statistics

“Quoth the raven nevermore.”
Angry Birds* #quote


If I had to make today a holiday it would be Today Day. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


Magical Statistics


         40% of wizards prefer the Pegasus over the dragon for long-distance air travel.
         60% of goblins are Amish-Buddist-Raccoon-Cultists Traditionalists
         70% of ogres are avid gamers and 30% of active user accounts on YBox Live are ogres.
         90% of witches find wizards sexier without the traditional, messy, long beard.
         55% of vampires do not sparkle, they twinkle.

         100% of the human and animal body parts the necromancers use in Worldwide Necromancer Association are legally acquired and not stolen from graves or innocent bystanders. At least, that's what they claim on their tax returns.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Today's #flashfiction The Zombie Reasoning

 “I'm on the fence.”
Humpty Dumpty* #quote

Don't forget that 99% of percentages aren't 1%. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Zombie Reasoning

         When the zombie outbreak started people didn't question where it came from. Perhaps they should have to understand the pattern of the horde. The zombies attacked not only people but other living beings. Animals and plants. When they bit humans the humans turned to their kind, when they touched plants or animals some sort of strange effect would change it into some sort of mutation of itself or a bizarre transformation. Often it would crystallize or turn to something like amber. The zombies would take what they changed and pile it up in various ways before moving on to make more zombies. The fruitless battle against the zombies made people wonder about the undead's actions while they fled from them. The zombies, fed on the few creatures that didn't change to crystal, reproduced by converting others to their kind, and stacked the various creatures and plants they changed into substances.
       People only understood the zombie's reasoning behind their actions when they became one themselves. They were all creating art, or the closest thing they could to art, out of the various things they transformed. A pillar of crystallized animals served as a sculpture in the zombie mind. This all came from the first person in the zombie outbreak. A test subject in the lab that created the virus. An aspiring artist who's creative subconscious became transmitted along with the zombie plague.

         After the plague covered the Earth all that remained from humanity were decaying buildings along with the undead and their art.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Robot Nursery Rhymes

 “You're the apple of my eye.”
William Tell* #quote


Don't forget about stranger danger! After all it's better to worry about that than danger from people you know. Anyway onto the flash fiction!



Robot Nursery Rhymes




“Humpty Robot”

Humpty Robot sat on a wall.
Humpty Robot had a great fall.
All the king's scientists and all the king's mechanics
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

“Robo-Jack and Robo-Jill”

Robo-Jack and Robo-Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of oil.
Robo-Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Robo-Jill came tumbling after.
Up Jack got
And home did trot
As fast as he could caper
Went to bed
And welded his head
With steel and brown paper.

“Mary, Mary, Mechanically Contrary”


Mary, Mary, mechanically contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells,
And robot slaves all in a row.  

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Five Clues!?

“Them's fightin' words.”
Noah Webster* #quote

I wonder if people who are really passionate about the environment both cycle and recycle. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


Five Clues!?

         Barry rolled the dice and moved his game piece across the spaces. He picked up the card from the stack that matched the color of the space and by giving five single-word clues tried to get his team to guess what was written on the card. He tended to always give the best clues and get the most points. He'd seen every single card a thousand times over, and they had to make new cards sometimes since they'd play the game so much. Him so much more. The game, “Five Clues!?”, had tattered edges on its cardboard and the box, despite the care given to it, got some heavy bangs over the years. Barry remembered the times he played it in his youth, long before white hairs covered his head. And he wondered why, after so many years, he still played this dumb, old game with his family.
        He looked around and saw all the smiles when his team scored a point, and the rest of the family eager for their turn, and he remembered why. Did his grandfather play the game with him for all the smiles? And how many generations of the family would play for all the smiles, no matter how repetitive the game got?





Monday, August 1, 2016

Today's #flashfiction Immorality Immortality


“The one thing I want to leave my children is an honorable name.”
George Foreman*
My grandma came over and we watched some detective shows together. It was quite fun. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Immorality Immortality

          I stabbed a man to death then stole his wallet. Took only the money and left behind the credit cards. That would leave greater emotional pain to the family and others as it would downplay quick midnight murder I did to simply petty greed. I didn't need the money with all the banks I've robbed. That wasn't my profit. My profit was the sin itself. The evil I did by leaving a the dead body of some poor man in the street is what I needed. That crime against humanity.
        The sin bought me more time to live. That's the deal I stroke with the demon that visited me on my deathbed. Sin for life. He started me with petty evil but the costs got higher and I got used to it all. I lost empathy for my fellow human beings and only cared for living. So now I simply wait to learn what the exchange rate is for another day. I don't know why the demon wants me to commit sin, what his motive is. Entertainment? Or is there some way that he feeds off my evil? I do know his motives for picking me. A veteran cop like myself would be great for gathering sins and getting away with it, knowing how to cover my tracks. I was smart enough to wear rubber gloves when I stabbed the man and stole money from his wallet. Though I stopped caring for others a years ago I still wonder what the price for more time will be the next day. Must I do less or more for another day on this Earth? Maybe my empathy for other would return and the sins would simply kill my mind and soul just to leave my body behind.