Today's #flashfiction Death For All

 “Refinance your home today!”

The Big Bad Wolf* #quote

CJ and/or Jessica will be coming over tomorrow so that'll be radtastic. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Death For All

          Arnold Jones fished at the lake as he did every Sunday he could for the past seventy years. As he let his fishing line into the water he did not see a Grim Reaper in its long black cloak walk up behind him. Many kinds of the skeletal cloaked creatures would bring souls to the after-life. They would appear before the ones who pass and guide them. The transition between the plane of the living and dead is not a simple one.

         Arnold didn't look at the Grim Reaper as it stood next to him. A tug on the line, a big one! Arnold pulled and pulled. His focus fully on the fish. He pulled and pulled and with all the might in his old muscles. The fish soared out of the water and onto Arnold's lap. The thing flopped and gasped. Arnold quickly dashed over to a cutting board with the fish and chopped its head off.

         The moment the guide waited for passed. The Grim Reaper guided the fish's soul to the afterlife.

Today's #flashfiction If It's Broke, Fix It

 “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”

Steven King* #quote

I wonder what we sound like to our echoes? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

If It's Broke, Fix It

          “Ch-Ee-Ry-C-owwwwws!” Grandpa yelled one of his made up curses after he hit his thumb with a hammer. Grandma said he “had the mouth of a sailor” before he had Mom, but now refused to use real swear words in front of anyone. Something different always came out of his mouth every time, and he swore a lot.

           “Monkey-dancin', rock-polishers...” he grumbled as he dropped the hammer to the floor and grit his teeth.

           “You alright?” I asked.

            He turned around to me and smiled. “Oh, I'm alright my wonderful granddaughter.” I remembered when he talked to Mom and Dad about watching over me for the weekend, (not that I needed a babysitter), but he never told them that he would be working on fixing the backyard door. It'd be nice if he wore out soon and went inside to relax so I could watch cartoons.

           “N-oooo-dles sHoVeD-up MY soup!” Grandpa screamed again after a second try at the same nail. He found his target on the third try. But when he went for the next nail he hammered a finger with the hammer again. “QuEEns of England in the B-el-frY !”

           “Grandpa?”

            “Yes my dearest granddaughter?” He smiled while holding back as much of the expressions of pain as he could.

            “Maybe you should get glasses like Grandma's been telling you to.” 

Today's #flashfiction Elves VS Fairies

 “Plan ahead.”

MacGyver* #quote

In today's news, a blog posts a story for people to read. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Elves VS Fairies

           “Christmas is but a few days away. I expect joy enchantments on all the toys, dolls, game consoles, action figures...cover everything!” The elf manager yelled at his underlings. “And I swear Jerry if you don't enchant your batch of collectibles because 'they're not real toys' I'm firing you. You know what? We could all get fired!” The elf manager couldn't hold back his panic any longer.

           “You mean the rumors are true?” one elf worker said. “Santa is considering the fairies's offer?”

            The elves stopped moving, something they rarely did when they were on the clock in distorted space-time inside a store. The janitor stood in place and magic allowed the air in the pocket of the store they were in to move to keep the elves breathing but the rest of reality at bay. They spent time in store enchanting toys with joy to keep Christmas a most joyful holiday. Other beings handled other holidays but the elves didn't need to worry about them for their paycheck.

           “Yes, the faries's have swayed Mr. Claus. His decision is going to be based on our performance this Christmas. He didn't tell us so we wouldn't work harder just to impress him. Speaking of which, get to work or we're all out of a job!” The manager's task force went to work and the manager did the small work too. Productivity had to be maximum to beat the fairy methods.

            Santa Claus cared for his elf workers over the many, many years their people fell under his employment. The immortal man of mysterious cheery magic took care of them well. However he cared for one thing much more than any elf. He cared about Christmas. In the modern days he enchanted presents with joy instead of delivering them since people bought things themselves now, and if anyone could do that better then the elves would be dismissed.

            Fairies did not do their work themselves. They were creatures even smaller than the elves and not nearly as hardy. So they use machines. A fairy stopped time just as an elf would and rode into a store with a massive tank-like thing with many arms. It would then spray dust over toys that would be purchased or it would go into households and spray them there. Smaller models of these devices would scour smaller places and behind them all and behind it a second device would use magic to remove evidence of the machine's presence there.

           Santa organized it so that the fairies did half of this year's Christmas presents and the other half went to the elves. Santa usually spent the actual day of Christmas in observation. In an attempt to keep the elves unaware of it, he tried to convince half that each of them were on vacation, but not telling other groups of them. Compartmentalization! It didn't work, and the elves worked their hardest.

            Mr. Claus made his evaluation and told the fairy king personally.

           “King Sparkles, you covered all the toys in a quarter the time of my elves. But your accuracy was exceptionally questionable.” Santa Claus poured over the data in the same way as his Naughty and Nice list. “You covered toys that you shouldn't have, and even the pets of some people. I simply cannot have this much magic wasted.”

            King Sparkles held back a smile and spoke very humbly. The clever king always knew how to cut deals. “Well, Christmas joy needs to be brought the best it can. Perhaps the accuracy of the elves is needed and my people's machines can just...help?”

           Santa Claus agreed and purchased the machine's for the elves, as King Sparkles intended all along. He didn't want his people working Christmas labor, but he wanted to sell his machines. Now he just needed to speak with the ghouls of Halloween.

Today's #flashfiction A Time Traveler's Regret

 “Time for a reality check.”

Salvador Dali* #quote

Jessica should be coming over this weekend, and maybe CJ as well. And that sounds mighty swell. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

A Time Traveler's Regret

         My name is Bill Simone. I've lived wisely and I only have one regret. After getting my Doctorate and becoming a scientist I researched long and hard until I created a time machine. This lead to my biggest mistake, an experiment that lead to a time loop.

         My name is Bill Simone. I've lived wisely and I only have one regret. After getting my Doctorate and becoming a scientist I researched long and hard until I created a time machine. This lead to my biggest mistake, an experiment that lead to a time loop...

Today's #flashfiction I'll Have A Movie With Everything On It

“A fool and his money are soon parted.”

Mr. T* #quote

Jenga is probably one of the hardest games to play on top of a moving train.

I'll Have A Movie With Everything On It

         An ambitious movie producer dismissed the phrase “You can't please everyone.” and decided he would fund a movie that would everything he could fit in it. Like an over-stuffed burger he delivered it to world. Audiences were blown away. The following climax from that movie is when some even claimed their heart stopped.

         “No, I am your mother!” the communist, spy, supervillainess revealed while surrounded by her dragon minions and members of her baseball team.

         The hero yelled back, “That's impossible! I grew up in Victorian England and was brought here by a temporal anomaly.”

         The villainess laughed. “But those are all false memories. Implanted by the ghoul of the haunted ruins your father excavated all those years ago.”

         “The ghoul that caused the viral outbreak?”

         “Yes, that now works with me.”

         The hero grew enraged and pulled out his nun-chucks. “If you worked with the ghoul that means you are partly responsible for killing my father. I will get my revenge on you, then get the ghoul!”

         The supervillainess smiled as a large rumble shook the foundation of the racetrack they stood on. “Shouldn't you be more worried about that girlfriend and best friend of yours?” The hero looked over to see the source of the quake. The giant city-wrecking ape-lizard monster Primalscales held his love interest and best friend in hand as it rampaged.

         The hero stood silent for a moment. Then utilized channeled the great spiritual power he obtained from his long walkabout where he met the many sages of different cultures all across in the only way he knew how. Through the sheer might of his song and dance.

         The world erupted as in dazzle as his musical number started. His powers flowed through song, his voice, salsa, waltz and whatever steps he did made rainbows and explosions fill the air. More and more magic came to the racetrack. Vortexes opened bringing warriors to assist, other dazzling magical effects and backup dancers. The movies soundtrack flipped between twenty genres of music at least. The actors talent kept up with the action.

        Not only was the beast the defeated, but the supervillainess as well.

        In the end the movie sold absurd amount of tickets, but its budget was so high it was a massive flop. Another movie like it would never be produced.  

Today's #flashfiction The Two Mr. Greens

“Measure twice, cut once.”

Freddy Kruger* #quote

Do you think that an eclipse is the Moon telling the Sun that he should never quit his day job? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Two Mr. Greens

          “Now Mr. Green I know you've dealt with this hallucination of another you for quite awhile. Which is why I'm glad you've agreed to medical treatment.” The doctor spoke standing while one real Mr. Green and one hallucination sat in the chairs in his office. I knew this was the time that medication needed to be taken. This had to end. There should only be one Mr. Green.

         “I'm ready doctor,” I told him while the other Mr. Green in the room said the same thing.

         “Mr. Green your mental condition, although a bad one, is actually easily curable. You have a chemical imbalance in your brain. Take the pill and it'll be fixed. You're lucky it's this simple. I'd like you to start taking them now. And here's your prescription for more.” He set a pill on the desk in his office along with a bottle of pills and a perscription.

         Not a moment was wasted. The pill was swallowed so in a few moments its chemicals cured the mental condition and I vanished.

Today's #flashfiction Twice Upon A Time

“I like a room with a view.”

Humpty Dumpty* #quote

If you ever feel like your life is becoming full of darkness, change the light bulb. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Twice Upon A Time

          Twice a upon a time a kingdom went to war. Each time the other kingdom they fought invaded to raid them for wealth. Each of these times the kingdom fought a the same enemy. Twice upon these times blood was shed.

          But once upon these times the kingdom won, while once upon these times the kingdom failed. The first war was waged by a father, the second by his son. The son learned from his father's mistakes, learned his foes weakness, and decided to make a treaty for peace instead of leaving the kingdoms in tension for his descendant to fight.

          So the kingdoms never waged war upon another time.

Today's #flashfiction Who Haunts Who Now?

“Call me!”

Romeo* #quote

If you turn something inside out then outside in then can you still shake it all about? Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Who Haunts Who Now?

         It started a month ago. I see him walking around my house, hear his voice, and hear his footsteps. The floor creaks when he walks and objects move when he touches them. He won't leave! He just won't leave! And he brings others too. They all come, making their noises, moving things, the voices driving me mad. It needs to stop! Why won't it stop!

         Why do the living have to invade my home? Can't a ghost like me just be left alone?

Today's #flashfiction Every Man Has His Price

“How much wood could a woodchuck chuck

If a woodchuck could chuck wood?”

Count Count* #quote

Unfortunately Jessica canceled this weekend, but it seems that'll we'll be hanging next weekend so that's good. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Every Man Has His Price

        A twenty foot by twenty foot contraption whirred and buzzed. A stainless steel exterior hid whatever laid inside. To an outside observer only a massive cube creating the most elaborate of noises could be heard. Between the mechanical noises the clucking of chickens and plucking of guitar strings reverberated inside. Or at least some inner motors, gears or pistons that produced such sounds. A massive ding filled the air for miles and a small door opened. A mechanical arm revealed itself with a cup of coffee.

        Two men stood next to the device, “Just coffee? All that for coffee? Tom, why would you keep such a thing?” One man asked the other.

        “Oh, I won it in a contest. It was free.” Tom replied.   

Today's #flashfiction To Dream The Other

 “Springtime is in the air!”

Eddard Stark, Game Of Thrones* #quote

My friend Jessica should be coming over this weekend. Which will be cool. She hasn't been over for awhile since she's had to study for a Japanese fluency certification kinda test(don't know what it's proper title is). Anyway onto the flash fiction!

To Dream The Other

        Demons did only bad and angels only good. One demon had constant recurring dreams of being an angel, and one angel had constant recurring dreams of being a demon. The demon became fascinated with good and began to only do good. The angel became fascinated with evil and began to only do evil. And eventually the demon transformed became an angel and the angel a demon.

       Many years passed, the new demon now began constantly dreaming of being an angel again, and the new angel began constantly dreaming of being a demon again.

Today's #flashfiction Sir Exilan And His Adventures

“I don't know what you mean.”

Noah Webster* #quote

Today I went to a doctor appointment with the surgeon who will be operating on me to replace the battery in the device that stimulates a nerve in my body to help with my epilepsy. Welp, it'll probably be much less difficult than the molar removal and the installation of the device so I'm not too worried. I wonder if you can get like punch out coupons for surgeries like you do takeout places. I'm having enough of them.

Sir Exilan And His Adventures

          Sir Exilan slayed demons, dragons and saved lands all over from many disasters. He saw sights all over from lakes to mountains to sights normal people could never see by stepping through magic doors. It would take several heavy tomes to barely record a small fraction of his adventures.

         “Do I have anything to live for anymore now that I've seen it all? Have I drained all excitement from life just by having done the most dangerous and seeing the most spectacular. I don't think anything could make life interesting anymore,” the knight said to a bartender on evening.

         The bartender looked at the empty seat next to Sir Exilan. “Have you found love?” He asked him.

        Sir Exilan stood up, smiled and put down the payment for his drink. “There's still one more adventure I have yet to go on!”

Today's #flashfiction The Longest Movie Ever Made

“I fell into a burning ring of fire,
I went down, down, down as the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns,
The ring of fire, the ring of fire.”

Dante's Inferno* #quote

I wonder why y doesn't ask about why why ends in y. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Longest Movie Ever Made

          The longest movie ever made combines many genres. It has disaster movie elements and a massive crisis. But of course the story continues. The main characters can't die like that, well, most of them do. But the rest of the main characters are not flat and boring. They continue to be developed through the story, they evolve over time, and become totally different.

         Survival horror elements are most of the movie as main characters are hunted by other characters. Eat or be eaten. The characters develop through this after the disaster.

         Eventually the movie becomes a drama. The characters have developed to the point of being able to settle down. Romances occur but at points the plot breaks away to become a war movie. Or a murder mystery. But then back to a romance. But the plot may even stop for a moment to break to a short segment on cooking.

          Billions of years ago aliens decided to film the Earth and make a documentary. They've left the cameras running through it all. The biggest question is what the climax is going to be.  

Today's #flashfiction The Consequences Of Learning It Was All A Dream

“They mutated the dinosaur genetic code and blended it with that of a frog's. Now, some West African frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex environment. Malcolm was right. Look. Life found a way.”

Barney and Friends*

CJ should be coming over tomorrow. That should be a bucket of fun. Unless we run out of buckets. Then again we could run over to The Crazed Squid's Extreme Discount Bucket Emporium. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Consequences of Learning It Was All A Dream

          When a story ends with “It was all just a dream” it often forgets to mention the most important part. What happens when the person realizes this? The after effects on them. They don't cover this. I woke up from a several year coma recently. A coma after a car accident, and that when I was in my coma-dream, I thought I survived. My brain made time pass more slowly in my mind. So months in a coma became many, many years. So when I woke up I learned that thirty years of my “life” became instantly revealed to be a lie made up in a dream.

         Thirty years that started with a war that my brain made up. A war where I became a solider. A war where I started out a hero. Then I abused my power along with other soldiers. We took advantage of other people. We did whatever we pleased to them.

         I didn't go mad from later regret and trauma, spending the rest of my life repenting, only living free because I turned in some traitors I later worked with to gain even more by taking advantage of my own country and the one I was attacking. All those years giving accounts of the horrors of war to the nation weren't real. The horrors weren't real and the war wasn't real.

          And originally the scenario I constructed was that other soldiers convinced me to start taking advantage of those people and do all those horrible things to them. But no. When I woke up and learned it was all a dream, I learned that my brain chose to make all those scenarios exist. The real world didn't make all those horrors exist. My subconscious did. I wasn't dragged into a war, I made the war. I would have preferred to have stayed in my coma as the man repenting for his crimes than waking up knowing that it was a dream all along and that I made them exist.

         This terrible realization did give me a second chance. Lucky circumstances shortly after me waking up made me run across a great deal of money and power. So lucky you wouldn't believe them. So just like in the war in my dream I have the power to take advantage of people again.

         This time it can't all be a dream. I know I can't reset. Or maybe I am wrong and I'm still dreaming? Does that mean I can do it all again? Or should do it all again whether or not waking up can get rid of all my sins?

        I wonder if my soul is the same in the real world?  

Today's #flashfiction Little Miss Fairy

“Drink responsibly.”

Dionysus* #quote

What did the dentist say to his kids after telling them the tale of the tortoise and the hare? He said, “What's the molar of this story?” Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Little Miss Fairy

Little Miss Fairy

Sat on a cherry

Eating some seeds and sugar

Along came a centaur

Who sat down beside her

And frightened Miss Fairy away