Well, that
girlfriend alluded to in previous posts broke up with me, but it was
only a two week relationship so I'm fine really, though she was nice,
what a pity. Anyway, trying new epilepsy medication this weekend and
I had an incident yesterday, though the meds didn't hit me as hard so
I managed to get out a story today, though I'm not sure how well it
turned out.
Anyway, I hope
you enjoy!
The Archeologist
She led her
fellow scientists into the several hundred year old ruins. All the
scientists were nervous that the ruins would collapse around them.
The ruins had been buried under the new city above, with the walls of
the ruins being a fragment of the foundation. The scientists had the
crawl beneath the pieces of the ruins to move on.
The
archeologist smiled, with dirt in her blonde hair. She wiped sweat
off her forehead while keeping her flashlight in hand. She was so
eager. If the relic was in here, she would be famous. She could
hardly contain her excitement. She thought of the magazines she would
be on, all just for finding the relic in these ruins.
She saw a bit
of loose soil. After digging at it a box with letters in a language
she could hardly understand fell out. She held the box, resisting the
urge to scream in delight. She couldn't read the letters on the box.
But she knew this had to be it. It had to be the relic. So she opened
the box and there it was, the relic from those old ages. She pulled
out a twenty-first century cellphone; and considered herself the
luckiest person on the planet.
It's a shame the gf took things so seriously when all YOU wanted to do was hang out together. Don't sweat it though, I predict many girls in your future. As to the story, I would revisit the sentence: The archaeologist smiled, with dirt in her blonde hair. Makes it sound like she's happy she has dirty hair. :} I understand the meaning you wanted to convey, though. You might want to consider: The archaeologist smiled, shook the dirt out of her blonde hair. Again, this is a great visual scene with a nice twist. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks for input on that sentence, maybe I change that in later drafts.
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