“Keep it real.”
Pablo Picasso* #quote
Whenever the owls start talking I just yell “Me” back and they fly away. Anyway onto the flash fiction!
My Good Day Until A Bad Knight
“You know,” I growled, “My day was going just peachy until you showed up.” I whipped my thorny tail about. I held a knight in my claws. “I was just gobbling up some goblins just minding my own business until you showed up shouting your usual human garbage about honor and having to murder for it.” I pulled the knight up to my face and breathed some smoke in his face. “Oh, I have to slay a dragon to become a real knight! That's what you think isn't it? You just have to raid my castle and try to jab that sword of yours into me.” I shook the knight. “You just poke me thinkin' 'oh I bet if I stab him enough I'll kill him and I'll be real knight because I killed a dragon and all the chicks will totally dig me! Is that what you think?”
“Uh...” the knight I held looked at me awkwardly.
“Well no! That's not going to happen! At least once a week you idiot humans bother me. Even at the crack of dawn you jump through my window swords drawn screaming! Then I kill you and that seems to create a bizarre fascination that makes me even more important to kill. After all, no one returns, I am the unkillable beast Yjorilix, the strongest dragon! You're worse than the cockroaches!” I then furiously stomped my foot. “Well I'm not playing your game anymore!” I then set the knight on the ground and pointed out the castle gate. “Go home!”
“What?” The knight looked at me bewildered.
“I'm not going to kill you. No more epic honor-duels. I'm not going to fight you humans. You're going to home and tell all them that, or so help me I'm going grab you and carry you back to your city!”
The knight kept standing there.
“Go! Get! Scoot! Scram!” I yelled.
The knight hurried out my door. Maybe I should put I sign outside the castle.