“Quoth the raven nevermore.”
Angry Birds* #quote
If you look left you won't see what's on your right. Isn't that
right?
Mechanical Diplomacy
“Now then, there is no one around but the two body guards outside
the door. We can be completely honest with each other and nobody will
know.” The robot diplomat's voice synthesized a happy tone. His
body was simple. A big, protective box with the limbs coming out.
Four strong robotic legs and two arms with five almost human fingers.
The head didn't have any means of showing emotion. It only had a
spread of sensors and cameras along with a large speaker. People only
called the machine a “he” out of a poor attempt of
personification and the fact the synthesized voice coming from it
resembled that of a male. The machine, as any other, technically fell
under the category of “it”.
The other diplomat in the room replied in a true voice of flesh, “Be
completely honest? Nobody will know? I certainly know you record
everything you see and hear. This entire meeting could be downloaded
to the Internet.”
The robot synthesized and laugh and said, “Well, aren't you a
bright woman.”
“Insulting me? Usually diplomacy involves flattery and bribes.
Especially from machines.” The human politician would have given
the machine a good glare in his eyes if he were human, however he
merely had cameras on his obnoxious metal head.
The machines voice changed to a harsh tone. “There's no need for
me to grovel or deal. This time the meeting here is a formality for
you to surrender to the machine nations. We've got the
electromagnetic array up now. All your missiles and anything else you
try, even things like hacking into our communications won't work.
We're invincible. Also we've got everything pointed to at you.” The
mechanical diplomat then pulled a piece of paper from under the table
they sat at. “Sign the treaty or you'll watch humanity die.”
The diplomat of flesh smiled. “Do you know how to tell if a
machine is lying?”
“Oh, do enlighten me on your one brilliant theory.” The
synthesized voice of the mechanical politician pulled together a
dismissive tone from several samples in its library of voices.
“You didn't quantify it. You say 'two body guards' outside, 'one
brilliant theory'. That little speech sounded as emotional and
unspecific as a human would be. So, who wrote that for you?”
The machine laughed with static from its speaker. “Didn't
quantify? Have you been speaking to machines from fifty years ago?
Abstraction is a simple matter. And telling you specifics of our
forces would be idiocy.”
The woman diplomat then added, “Also you're a politician like me.
We always lie.”
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