“WD-40, the
can that can.”
King Arthur*
#quote
It's been
arranged that Jessica will be coming over this Friday. I don't think
we'll be frying anything on Friday.
Fantastical
Property Values
King Galayon
wanted to buy a vacation castle far away from his normal home. A
place to go to where the scenery can change, and where he can still
run his kingdom, but it'd be out of the way enough that it'd be
difficult for the other kings and queens to get the time to travel
that distance and visit. He found a castle in a beautiful, scenic
area that was also strategically surrounded by mountains. A natural
defense that looked good as well. A clean river flowed in front of
the location.
“What a
quaint, little castle your selling Mr. Falei.” The King smiled
while talking to the wizard who put up the place for sale. King
Galayon dealt extensively with wizards in his life, many served as
consultants for him and parts of his royal guard. Twelve traveled
with him alongside twenty knights. This wizard did confuse him
though. Most wizards loved showmanship. They devoted their entire
life to their craft so they wore robes that represented their school
of magic and all sorts of charms, emblems, rings, jewelry. Anyone
with a passing knowledge of wizards could identify a wizard's
discipline by looking at them. Except for this man. He wore practical
farmer clothes, held a pitchfork, and only thing that identified him
as a wizard was the golden necklace around his neck with a magical
jewel of extreme rarity. Galayon knew this man was a powerful wizard
from the item he wore, but he couldn't tell what kind, since the
artifact didn't belong to any specific school of magic.
“Oh, but the
farmland is great if you want your workers to make you food without
having to order in supplies, and the castle is very roomy on the
inside.” Falei pointed to the fields next to the castle. He'd been
cultivating them for a long time and hoped to use them as a primary
bragging point.
King Galayon's
found the fact that such a wizard leaving a castle would be odd. The
second thing that confused him was that the price for the castle fell
into the smoking-amazing-bargain range despite its location and all
its properties. He only called it quaint to insult it and begin
negotiations. “Mr. Falei do I need to remind you that you need to
tell me everything that could affect the value of this property?”
The wizard
frowned. He snapped his fingers and a ring of fire appeared around
the castle like a moat. “Well, magic traps laid by the original
owner I took it from are everywhere. I have to regularly cast a spell
to check for their reactivation periods.”
The wizards
among the King's guard felt instantly ashamed that they could not
detect the traps. The King remained calm and asked, “Anything
else?”
Falei gave up
on concealing information. Everyone checked the castle before they
bought it anyway so he may as well tell them upfront. “It's
haunted. There's a dragon living there with a princess he originally
took hostage but now befriended so you'll have to make living
arrangements with them. A fracture from another dimension intersects
the castle so the geometry and hallways of the buildings rearrange
every day based on the position of the stars. Also in the mountains
there are noisy goblin neighbors who play loud music.”
The King stared
at the wizard, then the castle, then back to the wizard, moving his
eyes between the two. He then said, “Explains why the place is dirt
cheap, I'll take it.”
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