“Too much sugar is bad for you.”
Willy Wonka* #quote
Today I went to one of my card game things. This coming weekend I
plan to invite CJ over, I'll see how that rolls out. Anyway onto the
flash fiction!
Sound Evil Advice
The supervillain Doctor Furious finished his doomsday weapon and all
the plans for its execution. He looked at the blue prints satisfied
while he adjusted his costume. A black jacket with a white lab coat
made for quite the color contrast and great evil fashion. His evil
advisor approved the outfit so he went with it. His evil advisor
approved everything, even down to the pizza he ordered.
The evil advisor was a computer of Doctor Furious's own design. An
incredibly advanced artificial intelligence with millions of advanced
possessors. The machine required the power of a magical artifact just
to keep it functioning. He considered it the wisest being on the
entire Earth.
Doctor Furious asked his advisor, “Evil Advisor, is there any flaw
with my evil plan?”
“Yes.”
The supervillain was shocked. He spent weeks working on the doomsday
plan and weapon before presenting it to his evil advisor. “But what
is it Evil Advisor? Everything functions, I've made it so that so
superhero could stop it. Doomsday should happen? What would get in
the way of the evil of my plan and satisfaction?”
His advisor went silent. Doctor Furious knew that meant the machine
was looking for words to explain it to him. He dreaded the silence.
He felt like a child more and more it passed since the machine was
taking time with its vast mind to make absolutely sure it phrased it
with something that he could understand. When it took so long he felt
the machine thought of him as a stupid man.
The Evil Advisor then told him in its flat synthetic voice, “When
Doomsday happens you will be dead. Therefore you will not experience
any satisfaction. Also any acts of evil will be not perceived by you
or anyone. Your plan only has a point if you are certain you can view
it all from the after life, and most after life theories and
religious views place where you would end up as not a good ending if
you initiate doomsday. The plan is pointless.”
Doctor Furious listened to his advisor as he always did and scrapped
the plan. He crumpled up the paper and threw it away.
“Might I advise that you steal candy? Or any other form of
robbery? That wouldn't be so pointless.”
The supervillain felt quite defeated, and he didn't even fight a
superhero. He wondered if he should just quit evil altogether. While
he wallowed in self-pity Doctor Furious never had the thought cross
his mind that maybe the purpose of the Evil Advisor's advise was to
make him quit evil.
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