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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Today's #flashfiction #TheDreadedPirateNeckbeard

“What are we going to do tonight Brain?
Why the same thing we do every night Pinky...try to take over the world!”
Congress* #quote


Today I went to my costuming club. It'll be the last day until next semester or unless we have summer meetings. I'll have to see if that happens. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


The Dreaded Pirate Neckbeard

          Smart people fear Blackbeard the Pirate. Wise people fear Neckbeard. As a Captain I've sailed many seas, ones in your world and others. A magic boat can do that. And as an elf merchant I've lived a long time to hear many tales of many pirates. Blackbeard was certainly fairly scary. But the Dreaded Pirate Neckbeard scared sailors from all worlds.
          For see pirates like Blackbeard could only do things to do while you lived and breathed. If you looked up at Neckbeard and he didn't feel merciful...well you could be looking up at those hairs of his for a very long time. For the Dreaded Pirate Neckbeard lived as a necromancer. Or rather unlived as most people, along with myself, believed him to be undead. And those on his crew lived undead too, toiling under his neckbeard for as long as he saw fit. Tales say he after he killed you, burned your flesh away, and turned you into a skeletal slave, he kept a a small piece of one of one of your bones stuck in his neckbeard to keep his control over you.
        He is the reason why no one will have a neckbeard anymore, as they wish not to resemble such a horrible man. I hope that some day flame engulfs that man and removes the source of his power and the seas of all the worlds are free from his influence. Then I can allow my facial hair to grow freely and shave less often. That would be quite convenient.

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