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Monday, September 15, 2014

Today's #flashfiction #ItsElementalryMyDearMerlin

“Marco!”
Hunger Games* #quote

         Today our family finished watching a reality show we had recorded to watch. It was a really real reality show as real as reality shows can really get you really know how really real they are really. Maybe totally really unreal for real. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

It's Elementalary My Dear Merlin


          “Why it's elementalary my dear Merlin!” proclaimed the genius detective-wizard Warlock Hollows. “When you look at all the magical elements at the scene of the crime everything comes together!”
           I looked at his cocky smile as he grabbed pointed his finger in the air at some invisible idea light bulb he wanted to point out to everyone. With that arrogant attitude of his and his constant patronization of me I wondered sometimes why I even bothered to stick around. Oh, right. He paid me. How many people did he have to go through to find someone who would be willing to put up with him explaining things to him like they are a child as his “note-taker”? (Really I think he needed either the validation or someone to bounce ideas off of. If either was true he would never admit it.) I will admit though I do admire his genius...probably his only redeeming quality.
        He continued his explanation, using me as a rehearsal for the police even though he would probably be much more polite with them, “See my boy, if you remember all I've taught you, there are so many elementalary magical elements to take in at a crime scene. These scorch marks are not natural at all. You can see the sparkling white dust left behind, completely different from ash. The footprints on the floor. Muddy, but matching no shoe. Just large round circles Whoever broke in also left no fingerprints, yet managed to move everything to get to the safe and blow it open. Also the foot prints end at the blast. Meaning that the perpetrator took the blast to the face before breaking out the other window.”
           I took notes as instructed. I'd already knew exactly what happened, but as I was paid to do I asked,  “What does that mean Warlock?”
             “The crime must have been committed by a golem wielding fairy dust! Only a creature of rock would leave behind such round footprints and no fingerprints and be able to take the blast that blew open the safe. Also the sparkling substance is the typical residue of fairy dust. You should read up on your explosives to keep up on our crime solving.”
          I resisted speaking. So I merely thought my words in my head. “I do read up on explosives for this reason if I need to “suggest” something to move you along...but ah, well my job is to make you feel smart.”
           The genius kept working on the crime scene without a doubt in his ability with great efficiency.


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