“Live long and
prosper.”
Dracula*
#quote
Today I had
hamburgers. When will they ever be made of ham?
The Wrong
Kind Of Monster
Doctor Smith
laughed an evil cackle he practiced for several hours while watching
the popular Doctor Muahaha's How Laugh Evilly videos on the
Internet. “Soon I will rule the world!” he proclaimed to an empty
room since he didn't have the budget to hire any evil minions. He
lacked a lab coat and merely wore t-shirt and jeans and his glasses
were cracked since he'd rather not pay for replacements as long as he
could see through them. His black hair looked nice at least as
shampoo and showers could fit in the budget. Though he forced himself
to use his fingers so he didn't have to pay for a comb.
All the money
went into creating his ultimate creation. The Universe Breaker. (He
spent a whole day making up the name, he didn't care if it conveyed
the function clearly, it sounded cool.) It didn't destroy universes,
but broke the boundaries between them. It would bind anything that
came through to his control. He targeted a universe where he detected
powerful energies and life(he just stole the device to do that, he
never ran so fast in his life. Other mad scientists have much better
security systems with very, very nasty guard dogs. The scar from the
mutant chihuahua still wraps up half his leg.)
“Yes,
yes...come to me monster from another universe! Show me your
otherworldly biology and strike fear into my enemies!” Doctor Smith
smiled and the portal opened.
A dragon
stepped through and the doctor's smile instantly became a frown.
His stomach
lurched. He dreamed of a creature with tentacles and appendages
unknown to mankind. Instead the creature that came through was a
dragon.
The dragon blew
a puff of smoke then spoke, “What strange magic you have. I can
feel I am bound to you.”
Doctor Smith
yelled at the dragon, “No! You're all wrong! You're supposed to be
an alien! Your not incomprehensible...just...no.” The monster the
Doctor got would not help him conquer any worlds.
“My new
master, might I suggest that you use me for something else? Perhaps
seek a new endeavor than whatever your original task was?” The
dragon used his usual trait of wisdom to suggest something to the
Doctor.
Doctor Smith
hatched another evil scheme as the dragon reminded him of a theme
park ride he saw as a child. Perhaps desperation for a new path
allowed creativity to flow easier to him. “You may not assist me in
global domination, but I think I can make a profit!”
The dragon
cracked a small smile of its own. It had the power for conquest as
the scientist desired, as the Universe Breaker was programmed to
find. It could magically manipulate minds. But the dragon desired to
hoard wealth and collect things, and if it manipulated the Doctor
Smith so be it. The Universe Breaker gave Doctor Smith the ability to
command the dragon, but the mad scientist may never know if he was
giving the commands.
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