A Matter of A Spy's Convience

 

           Well, my book's coming along better and faster(And faster is good, I'm getting into the rhythm the faster I can make it the better) though I can rush it because making it terrible is a mistake of course. But considering I've already been working on it for over a year and a half or two (I can't exactly say how long, I've put it on hold for school to varying degrees, I work it as a hobby not like a 9-5 job of course.) I haven't been stupidly rushing it yet so I'm not going to start now. Seizures are down but I had some at lunch as usual. Then again meal time is usually when I have my seizures(hunger is a seizure trigger and I am not a unique case in that regard as I have heard) Though fortunately I haven't choked recently from a seizure. (You get used to it though, and since seizure choking is not from food size but from your throat locking on the food you can get through it.)

        I've also stumbled upon something incredibly interesting about the Bible and translations. Now the version of the Bible we usually use is the King James version, which is in old English. In old English the word "kill" meant "murder" and the word "slay" meant "kill" like we use today. So the Commandment "Thou shalt not kill." maybe means "Thou shalt not murder" if translated into modern English. MAYBE. I'm no linguist so this is a "or so I heard" moment, but I've heard this several times from a few places. (I guess this explains the difference between the words slay and kill) it also makes sense because in the Bible it says that David "slew" Goliath if I remember correctly so it wasn't "murder" because it was in war. So that makes more sense I guess? In old English maybe self defense would be called slaying someone? This is a website that talks about it: http://www.neverthirsty.org/pp/corner/read2/r00850.html

Though that isn't the only place I heard it. Look it up yourself if you like. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

 A Matter of A Spy's Convenience

       “You think you're clever Agent Jorx?” said Mr. Woods with his eyes leering, “You may be Mars's number one super spy and you may have foiled my plans in the past but you won't stop me this time!” Mr. Woods laughed while petting his chihuahua while sitting in his leather chair. “I'll enjoy seeing your, ugly, big-headed, gray Martian hide lower into my elaborate, inescapable deathtrap!”

         It was true, Agent Jorx was being lowered into a deathtrap. He was tied up by rope and every second that passed meant another centimeter towards a vat of boiling acid below. The vat of boiling acid also had robotic sharks in it with laser beam eyes. The robotic sharks of course were made of materials that made them resistant to the acid in the vat.

     “You won't get away with this Woods.” Agent Jorx said with a spiteful tone.

Mr. Woods laughed, “Oh, where's that usual cool attitude of yours?” he then showed a wicked smile, “I guess you lost it when you realized you can't stop me from wiping every major Martian city with my nuclear bombs.”

       Agent Jorx started yelling, “Your insane! Even with your hate of Martians are you thinking of the human casualties? Humans live on Mars too!”

         “Yes I have.” Mr. Woods frowned, “But they are acceptable losses to eliminate all of your ugly hides.” Then Woods laughed. “Now look at these giant monitors behind me in horror! They show every major Martian city so you will get to watch them be destroyed!” the villain waved a remote with a giant red button on it in his hand. “I will push the button on this remote to detonate my bombs just before you enter my elaborate, inescapable deathtrap!”

        “No, I will stop you at the last moment! Just like I always do! I always have a convenient trick to save the day. That's what makes me a super spy.” Agent Jorx smiled. “Something always conveniently saves me at the end!”

         Mr. Woods laughed. One of the the main reasons he was laughing so much is that he had been practicing his evil laugh for the past week. “Nothing can conveniently save you now fool! I've taken all your spy gadgets, confiscated all your super-spy vehicles, I've also blocked all telekinesis waves so you can't use your Martian psychic powers to contact any of your fellow Martian spies or your HQ.” Woods smiled. “Your sassy anti-hero love interest doesn't know where you are and I've caught your adorable animal sidekick!”

       “No...” Agent Jorx said as he started to sweat and shake.

       “A-ha! I see that! There is nothing to save you conveniently at the last moment anymore is there!?” Woods let out his biggest laugh so far as he savored his villainy. “I've finally won!”

And so Agent Jorx lowered even closer into the deathtrap. His spy life flashed before his Martian eyes. All the missions and the chases in them. All the walks in the shadows. And the explosions he had to leap away from. And all the explosions that happened in general. There really were a lot of explosions now that he thought about it.

         “You will never get away with this!” Agent Jorx yelled.

Woods smiled, “Really? You couldn't come up with better last words than that?” After a quick chuckle Mr. Woods said, “Well, you're almost submerged in the elaborate, inescapable deathtrap so its time to detonate the nuclear bombs!”

         Then suddenly at this last moment a energy blaster shot shoots and conveniently destroys the remote control for the nuclear bombs. Then someone leaps in and saves Agent Jorx from the acid vat and unties him. It was a tall human with blond hair and a muscular figure. He had a savvy suit fitting a fellow spy.

        “What!?” Mr. Woods yelled. “Your Bob from accounting! Don't tell me, you're actually a double agent!?”

         “Yes I am.” the man said.

         “Of course! The unlikely ally! That's who conveniently saves me at the last moment!” Agent Jorx smiled. He never should have given up hope.

         “Blast! Foiled again! Who are you!?” Mr. Woods yelled.

         “I'm Agent 00X17 and Agent Jorx and I met on a previous mission. Well, we actually had different missions but our objectives were different and our enemy was the same and we became unlikely allies. We butted heads but still defeated enemy despite our differences.” the human Agent explained. “When I heard of your plan I knew it would be too much for Agent Jorx. And it seems you didn't think he would have non-Martian allies to save him conveniently at the last moment!”

          “It looks like you now be going to prison for a very long time Mr. Woods!” Agent Jorx said.

          The two agents grabbed Mr. Woods and dragged him away. Woods had a little smile. He was filled with extraordinary frustration that a plan that had taken him half a year to prepare had been foiled even with his incredible resources he had known one thing: just as the hero would conveniently escape at the last moment from a deathtrap, elaborate or not, the villain would always conveniently escape from prison.