Roleplaying Humanity:

Grandma's come over for dinner today so that's nice. Been reading “Writing The Breakout Novel” by Donald Maass today. Maybe it'll help me with my book. Though I think this blog is one of the biggest helps of them all(practice makes perfect!). Speaking of which, enjoy the flash fiction!

Roleplaying Humanity

       “So Xogrt, what do you want your character class to be?” asked Tuugt, the Earth-Master. He started placing all the little human figurines on the game board with his blue alien tentacles.

        Xorgt blinked his six eyes a few times, “I think I will be a College Professor.”

         Yrryf groaned, “What!? You always pick College Professor!”

        “But,” Xorgt sighed, “They give a huge Intelligence bonus...”

         Tuugt intervened, hating any sort of conflict among his players, “Y'know maybe you should pick something else, just to change it up.”

          Xorgt thought for a moment then replied, “How about I play a Secret Government Agent?”

         “No way!” Yrryf objected twisting her round gray head three hundred and sixty degrees, “That class is way overpowered. If your playing that I might as well pick the Dictator class.”

         Xorgt rolled his six eyes, “Yeesh. You shouldn't overreact. How about Attorney, that fair enough?”

          Yrryf replied, “Yeah that works. I'll pick Cheerleader.”

        “Hey!” Xorgt yelled, “And you were just yelling at me for picking College Professor all the time! You pick Cheerleader all the time!”

        Yuugt kept pulling out more and more human figurines. He thought he might as well start getting parts of the game set up while his players were arguing. They always did this. But it really always resolved itself on its own. It was almost habit.

        Yrryf swept her tentacles from left to right, “Alright I won't pick Cheerleader. I'll just pick...” Yrryf thought for a moment sliding one of her tentacles across another, “Talk Show Host!”

        The door of the UFO then busted open a big oozing blob of an alien coming in.

        “Sorry that I'm late everyone!” said Ludgx. “Has anybody taken Emo Teen as a class yet? That's what I decided on the way here.”

        Tuugt smiled, “Nope, nobody's taken Emo Teen yet.” He was glad there would be no arguing over that. Ludgx was the best role player of them all and watched tons of human movies to help him get into character. It was a sad thing though that landing on Earth was illegal and this role playing was the closest that any common alien would get to experiencing Earth.

        Now that all the friends were gathered and they had selected their classes they could begin their adventure as humans. Each selected their favorite figurine. Tuugt, being the Earth-master controlled the game so he didn't actually have a figurine. They all took turns being the Earth-master, but Tuugt was the best. Tuugt spent all the week working up a map of a human theme park and that would be the scenario they would play. Theme parks were something foreign to their culture so pretending to be these human characters in this theme park was incredibly fun for them and all the players were fascinated when Tuugt explained how the various parts of it worked.

        So the alien players spent all day having a blast in the theme park. Though of course they had to use all their knowledge of human culture to act as closely as possible to how real Talk Show Hosts, Emo Teens and Attorneys would in a theme park. But their adventure wasn't all just fun and games. Tuugt planned things to make it more exciting. He had them get sick on rides. The lines were annoyingly long and they had to choose and argue among themselves which to go on. But all the aliens stayed in characters and had fun with it all.

Then after they packed it all up Yrryf said, “I heard humans do this kinda stuff too. Except about things like us.”

    Ludgx laughed hard then responded, “That doesn't make any sense! There's nothing even remotely interesting about us.”