My friend CJ's
going to come over today so I'm posting quick and early. This'll be
one of my shorter stories but I tried to make sure it packed plenty
of punch!
The Evil
Overlord And His Game
“Your reign
of terror ends today!” a voice said as the quarterback sent off the
ball. “You have harmed the people of the world long enough!” The
players passed the balls and advanced on the field. “You have
murdered millions,” My favorite team then scored and the voice kept
talking, “and I have come to avenge them! Now avert your eyes from
that thing and come see me face to face, or are you too much of a
coward to face me?”
“Fine! I'll
face you!” I yelled back.
I turned off
the television. This was the twelfth hero this week coming to kill me
and he wouldn't even let me finish the game. I sat up from my Throne
of Terror. It was a magical throne I had witches from the darkest
parts of all the lands make for me. It at first appeared to be a
normal throne with decorative evil-looking spikes on the sides but it
was also enchanted with spells that actually fed on the power of fear
itself to bend the laws of physics to make the leather impossibly
poofy and comfy under the normal rules of reality.
I looked at the
hero. He didn't worry me as an evil overlord. Mostly because he was
completely covered in armor and had a full arsenal. Obviously a
highly trained knight. And thus not a problem. You'd think at first
he would be, but nope. But see, really, it's the ragtag kids who go
out questing that are the problem. Trained knights just know how to
kill soldiers. The ragtag kids that get hopelessly lost on the way to
the castle and go off on a myriad of quests and adventures are the
problem. They slay dragons, find tons of magical items and gather
practically an army of other friends to all jump me with.(Or rather
other overlords, I've lost many friends to ragtag kids, I'm hoping
I'm one of those that grows to old age before the ragtag kids get to
me.) But this soldier from the castle with his non-magical equipment
and normal military training? Doubt he'll be the one.
“So hero, do
you have any enchanted equipment?” I asked him.
“Um, no.”
he replied.
“Have you
been selected by any prophesies, such as being announced as The
Chosen One?” I assumed his status from his looks but I wanted to
ask him a few questions to make sure.
“Um, no.” I
could tell he was expecting a monologue. Normally I would enjoy
delivering one, but I was not in the mood considering he interrupted
my game.
“Have you
done any quests, small or large, like fetching things for villagers
or slaying dragons?” I asked.
“Um, no.”
he repeated. I noticed that he started to look like a child that was
getting a question wrong when asked in class.
“Do you have
any friends to aid you, especially eccentric ones with amazing
talents, comic reliefs or adorable animals?” I continued my
inquiries. I figured he couldn't tell that I was raising my eyebrow
under my spike covered overlord helmet.
“Um, no.”
The hero then got frustrated. “What does it matter?”
I laughed.
Though it wasn't my token maniacal overlord laugh. “I was just
making sure my original assumption was correct. You are of no threat
to me.”
I then blew him
up with my magic and got back to my game. A few weeks later I was
later greeted by a group of ragtag kids. Apparently I had killed
their families or something. Well, it was three ragtag kids and the
friends they had gathered on their adventures, comic relief and
powerful, eccentric wizard. As I said the friends they would jump you
with. Their leader was The Chosen One plus they had magical items
quest experience and even an adorable animal sidekick. They had all
the stops. I never stood a chance. But they did have the decency to
let me finish the game I was watching.
This work is
copyright Langdon Kennedy you may share this(email it, print it, post
it on your own website, broadcast it etc.) work unaltered as long as
you credit me as the author and share a link to this blog with it and
it is not for profit. If you have any questions and/or are unclear of
these conditions email me at llkenne1@asu.edu
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