Today's #flashfiction #AliensLoveTheHolidays

“I'm Batman”

What's My Line* #quote

       Today I ventured deep into a cave and found hidden treasure. I didn't bring any sand to swap out for the ancient treasure. (I needed to so the trap wouldn't activate.) That was a bummer because without the sand I just had to leave the treasure behind. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Aliens Love The Holidays

        When humanity finally found ways to travel the stars and meet sentient life on other planets they brought all aspects of their culture and life with them. Some things caught on, some things didn't. Holidays really caught on with alien cultures as reasons to buy things(and sell things) and party were wonderful. Aliens celebrated Christmas and Hanukkah, they were both reasons to party and buy each other things. (And when you can buy each other things you can hit on girls right?) Jewish people did get offended when they found out that the primary reason that the Afgordians were celebrating Hanukkah was for a time of dating. Often aliens all across the galaxy didn't even know where the holiday came from.

       “This is not what Santa looks like!” the eight eyed alien corporate boss shouted to his human employee. “If we're going to sell shirts to to the Floogs we're going to get it right! I'd think that a human like you would know what he looks like!” The boss flung the tentacles on his torso around like an angry football coach would pump his fist. He frantically moved the feet of his spider-like bottom in frustration.

The human shuddered. “But Mr. Gloff, I'm native to this colony, I've never even been to Earth. I don't even know what's wrong with it.”

       “Don't even know what's wrong with it? He's skinny! Santa is not skinny. He's fat, friendly and kind. I'd think the man we hired to be the graphic designer on our shirts would at least look at reference material instead of just winging it based off memory! Fortunately this hasn't been sent to manufacture.”

The employee hung his head low. “Actually, it has.”

       “What!?” Mr. Gloff started running as fast as he could. The feet of his arachnid bottom carried him across the floor in a flash, mostly due to panic. “Stop production!” He yelled to the employees working the machines creating the shirts. “I'm...going to get fired for this aren't I? There are thousands of these...”

Mr. Gloff's boss stood behind him, “Maybe, if you can't come up with a solution.” Gloff turned around. He hoped he could.

      Later the shirts managed to sell after the designer and Mr. Gloff put their heads together and made a deal with a few bakeries. The shirts sold at the bakeries under a sign that read, “Don't Forget to get Santa Cookies!” Sales didn't break the charts, but both the bakeries and them managed to turn a good profit. Maybe the shirts will be made next year, but the company may go with making Hanukkah products.