“I always
wanted to be a rock star. That was my childhood dream. That's what I
told everybody I was going to be when I grew up.”
-Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart *
Well, I went to a card game tournament today. I had lots of fun today,
and even won a prize in the raffle! (People get in the raffle for
just entering the tournament). It went on from 10:45 to 6:00-ish so
I'm pretty bushed. I pretty much had to head home to eat dinner. (The
place was also a thirty minutes from home). I'm gonna have to give
y'all a rerun of one of my favorites from past old days since I've
pretty much got Pokemon tourney induced writer's block. (Am I seeing
Pikachus?) It's from awhile back so I doubt you'll remember it.
Anyway onto the flash fiction!
Reviewing The Adventuring Log
I'm seventy
four and I just finished reading my adventuring log. I am, or rather
was, a knight who led an adventuring party through many quests
throughout all the kingdoms, queendoms, lands and a few other
dimensions and alternate universes we ran across. Took a jaunt in the
underworld to defeat a demon who stole the soul of one of our party
members too.
I suppose I
call it a log to make it sound much more formal, but really its a
journal, and even a dairy. I guess that makes me sound less like a
manly adventuring knight. Well, to compensate for that I'll say that
I have slayed many dragons. I record everything in it. From monetary
transactions to feelings, and being a magical item it has infinite
space in it to write containing my entire long adventuring career.
And I'm easily able to summon up any page I want. I can hold up the
back of the book and take pictures by running my finger down the
spine. I'm obsessed with taking pictures with my log and I have at
least fifty pictures from every one of my quests.
My adventuring
party first consisted of me of course, one of the most skilled
knights in the land. I have a magical blade with the ability to see my enemies thoughts. It would give me visions when it decided to and
all would come in images in my mind drawn by crayon. I never admitted
it anyone outside my party out of pride(and that after I trusted
them) but it was actually the lost toy of a young god. I told
everyone else they came in “fuzzy images”. My skills with my sword are extraordinary and I have never
been defeated in a fight. But I have gotten in draws. Once with the
great demon king Kuut and one with...my pride doesn't like me to
admit this...my own little daughter Trista. Guess I trained her well.
Second was the
young ogre girl Jess. Well, young when we started adventuring of
course. Being an ogre she was three times my size. Oh, don't follow
the ogre stereotype of them being ugly and crude. She came from a
proper area with a very proper upbringing. I swear half of our cart
was full of her makeup and dresses. She was skinny too. And boy did
she eat, at least proportionally to us. Our delicate green gal would
have to sit outside the human inns but her massive body didn't even
let out the littlest bit of a snore.
And then there
was our wizard Turing. Not the most sophisticated type. But he was
good at magic. Very reliable. But trust me half the time he was
uttering magical curses then the curses of sailors. He would also
cast healing spells a lot. On himself.
My wife is next
on the list but we didn't marry till the end of our adventuring days.
You only really have the time for off and on romantic conflict and
sexual tension while adventuring it seems. Her ability is that she
was born with the power to predict things that aren't going to
happen. You might think that would be a useless talent, but trust me,
process of elimination anyone? However the ability is a curse set by
a spiteful witch so she actually blurts it out causing social
difficulties. We all adapted to it.
And last there
is our lovable comedic relief. She kept us insane and happy at the
same time. She is a hyperactive ninja that frequently hops around and
has a magic bag of infinite ninja tricks she can pull whatever she
wants out of. She makes many happy giddy sounds and is just a barrel
of insane laughs. She's smart in someways but isn't the brightest and
her plans are odd and she's never subtle. How could someone be a
sneaky ninja, especially since she actually wears a black suit with
white text on it that says “I'm a sneaky ninja!” she distracts
people by causing havoc somewhere and either allows us to sneak by or
sneaks by herself. Fire or stampeding animals are her personal
favorites though we really try to keep her under control.
I'd tell you my adventures but really that isn't what mattered. It
was them. Those people, my fellow adventurers are what mattered. So
whatever we did, whatever. The thing I loved about adventuring wasn't
the excitement of peril or the treasure or the glory. It was the
people I spent it with. And I bet the same applies with your lives,
even if yours is probably much more mundane than mine.
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