Today's #flashfiction #TheWizardsChampion

“Eat right and exercise.”

The Cookie Monster* #quote

Today CJ was over. I finished this one before he woke up and after he left so that's how I managed to get it a little long despite the fact he was over. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

The Wizard's Champion

         Gladiatorial battles were common entertainment in Rezt, the massively populated world of the most powerful wizards. They came there from many worlds and after being filtered by customs for magical potential in their lineage were allowed to join their magical society. The gladiatorial battles didn't involve all those wizards. They involved the champions selected by the wizards. The massively populated world(though magic helps with housing and food), did serve to fill up the coliseums with roaring voices.

         Two wizards would face off today...though it would be their champions doing the battling. Each wizard wore a color to match the champion they had. The old wizard Delator wore blue which matched the paint on his knight's armor. Though the wizards couldn't do anything during the battle, the knight's armor held enchantments and spells so powerful no foe ever broke it. Delator remained undefeated, and even though people may think it would be boring for people to watch such a powerful champion wrecking foes, every time he would face more and more powerful opponents in amazing struggles for his challengers. If you wanted to see power you saw a show with Delator's champion.

       The opposing, younger wizard didn't take a traditional wizard's name. Taylor would do. He wore gray to match his champion. The gray confused Delator though. Even though the two stood at opposite ends of the coliseum microphones(not everything in their society ran off magic) let them talk to each other and the crowd for the show. The champions had yet to step out into the field of battle and so Delator asked through the microphone which went to the loudspeakers all over the coliseum:

         “I thought you would be wearing green to match that dragon champion you used to defeat all the other people waiting in line to challenge me. And now you're wearing gray? Did you put the beast in armor? It won't help.”

         Taylor replied, “Oh, I changed champions to face you. The dragon was never meant to fight you.”

“What?” The old wizard said while stroking his old fashioned wizardly beard that flowed down from his stoney-white skin. “But you're just some new kid! How could you even have two champions?”

Taylor just sat at his seat silent. He wished he could have gotten a nicer gray cloak, this one itched and he hoped his nice, bark colored skin wouldn't turn red with a rash.

         Even across the massive stadium the wizard's two pairs of black eyes could meet as their champions emerged.

         Delator's knight emerged. He kept the knight nameless on purpose for intimidation, and as a publicity. It  made him mysterious to the crowd. More of a shown. Sold more merchandise too. At most the figurines were sold as “Delator's Champion” and the media had a billion nicknames for it.

A human sized house cat came walking out of the other gate.

         The parts of the crowd that weren't silent murmured. The announcers commented on the oddity.

Delator just laughed. “You think a simple beast-man transformed house cat would surprise me? My champion, kill the shape shifter before it turns into something more dangerous.”

The knight ran at the cat, faster than any knight should in armor, and raised its sword. It sliced through the middle of the cat. The Delator felt bored. The match already over? He wished he fought the dragon instead.

         “...but not a single drop of blood in sight! Or any organs!” The commentators said. They were finishing their commentary on the knight's attack.

          Delator looked through a crystal ball he had next to him just like his competition. He zoomed in on the cat and saw that the sword just cut cleanly through. Nothing fell out of the cat. No blood or guts. And the cat still moved find from both ends a little. It then grabbed the bottom half and reattached it.

          “How, wha? What is that thing? Some sort of zombie?” Delator grew angry. “I know what works against zombies. Burn it my champion!”

         Taylor was about to give a command for a counter attack before Delator told the champion to burn the cat. Taylor didn't even know it could do such a thing. But the champion did and out of its gauntlet came fire that scorched the cats entire body.

        “Yeeeaaaaaooowwwww!!!!!” yelled the cat. It's whole body became covered in fire but then it stop, dropped, then rolled. All the gray fur it had before on it fell off and after it shook off more ash its true gray fur revealed itself. The cat was a living cartoon. “Guess the cat's out of the bag!” He smiled. “Sorry Boss, thought I'd at least be able to whack him before they figured out anything.”

        Delator yelled into his microphone, “This is preposterous! You mean to tell me my knight has been fighting a cartoon covered in fake cat fur?”

        Taylor replied, “There's no rule against it. We can get our champions from any world, and put them in anything. You get your armor, I got my cat-suit. I never said he wasn't a cartoon to the people who asked me what my champion was.”

        The cat started hitting the knight with cartoon baseball bats it was pulling from seemingly nowhere. Each bat broke so he had to pull out a new one. The only ones faded away.

        “Hey Boss! This guy just won't budge that's totally unfair!” He yelled. Magic in the coliseum made it so that the combatants could hear the contestants fight or speak, for better or for worse. Usually it was meant for screams of agony.

         Delator then addressed the cat with a roar. “Unfair? He chopped you in half and it did nothing! Maybe it'll work if he chops you into one hundred pieces!”

         The knight then chopped the cat apart. Not a single drop of blood or organs. The cat fell apart like a cartoon would, in acceptable G-rated chunks. Only his head remained whole.

         “Pull yourself together Sat-Cat!” Taylor yelled.

         “Sat-Cat?” Delator asked.
          Sat-Cat then explained. “I aired on Saturday Mornings! Catchy huh?” He then looked up with a horrified expression. “Oh for all that is good, holy, magical, and delicious, there are giant dragons descending upon the stadium! Look out!” Everyone looked up, including the wizard and the knight.

          But there was nothing there and when they looked back down the cat was whole.

          Delator said, “How did you do that?”

          The cat shrugged. “I dunno, I was off-screen so I got better.”

          Delator grew more furious and ordered his knight to attack the cartoon cat again and again. The cat would respond with whatever cartoon attacks it could muster. Sat-Cat even dropped a giant anvil on the knight. Once. Eventually the cat couldn't hope to manage an offense, but he could recover from an attack Delator's champion hit him with. No amount of violence could kill the cat.

         Hours passed and the audience was treated to a show. But it wouldn't stop. No ending. Every show should have an ending. The king ordered that time be called an the demons be summoned to accelerate the show. “Accelerate” meant the demons would come and try to kill both champions and whoever lived the longest would win. They did it when neither champion could defeat the other. The demons came and attacked. The demons could not kill the cat and were killed by Delator's knight. Eventually the king running the show declared it the first tie in coliseum history.

         Delator confronted Taylor after the show. “Why did you waste everyone's time?”

         Taylor smiled. “Oh, I didn't waste my or Sat-Cat's time. I made sure my coliseum battle contract read that I would be paid if I 'didn't lose'. I bet yours said you'd be paid if you won. A tie or a win makes me just as much money. And just as agreed I'll be buying Sat-Cat as many already dead mice as he can eat. He's tired of chasing them in his cartoon world.”