“It's all
about getting your foot in the door.”
The
Sasquatch* #quote
Today I decided
to decide to make a decision to decide on a decision about deciding
about an old decision that involved deciding about the decision
regarding the classical decision of salt or pepper.
Elevator To
Hell
There may be a
stairway to enter heaven, but there's an elevator into hell. After
passing through rusted gates(Satan's too cheap to get pearly gates) a
demon forced me into this elevator. (All along the way the demon
pushed me along with a spear to my back shouting “Move along Bob
what-ever-your-last-name-is).
I don't know
how long I've been in this elevator it feels like a thousand years.
The music doesn't change from the same old de-do-de-do for as long as
I can remember. I'm not too eager to get there. Not looking forward
to hell.
“Ding!” The
elevator door opened, a large robotic hand came out of the wall
behind me and shoved me out. I fell into a giant cardboard like box
on a conveyor belt.
A message
broadcasted over an intercom, booming so loudly I assumed whatever
factory I was trapped in must be gigantic, and I must proportionally
be ant-sized.
“This is your
friend Satan. Do not bother struggling. We'll only put you back in
the box if you manage to escape. Besides you'll be heading to a
better place, reincarnation is a wonderful thing. Oh, don't worry,
justice is being served for your sins. While we brought you here in
the elevator the music in the elevator pulled the vile soul from your
body and it is now rotting in hell. The clean part of your mind is
now being recycled here. That is why many of you may notice that most
of your memories are missing and emotions jumbled.”
I started to
panic. Recycled? Reincartation? It's probably better than hell but
what did that mean? For some reason being told I was going to be
recycled like trash was worse than the earlier moments where the
demon pushed me through the gate to hell.
“You, Bob!
Yeah, that's what it says on the list.” Satan addressing me forced
me to freeze in place. “And you, Sally in the box three rows down
from him! You guys getting all scared just makes our life harder.
That's why I even bother addressing you all in the first place, to
explain to you you're just being reincarnated. Now enjoy your new
self! And you probably won't end up a turtle.”
At the end of
the conveyor belt a machine with a large white light swallowed me
whole and my next life came to me. I was a turtle.
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