“Stop pushing my buttons.”
Super Mario* #quote
I wonder if Schrodinger ever applied his theories on whether the cat
is dead and alive to the refrigerator light when you close the door.
The Aliens And Our Leader
Val Oatfield looked at the aliens while shaking in his brown shoes.
He'd been replacing those same kind of old brown shoes since the
nineties and his gray suit and shorts suffered the phenomenon. His
producers and agent told him to never change his outfit from episode
to episode so that he'd remain consistent and recognizable.
Especially that obnoxious green tie with the white stars. His friend
gave him that tie and he'd been forced to wear that and replacements
since the audience fell in love with the dumb thing. At least he
could change his hair by letting it gray and slowly fall out over the
years.
Oddly enough while shaking, Val felt some comfort since the aliens
put him in a replica of his talk show set. He did notice that beyond
the set strange computers with strange interfaces and round screens.
The humanoid aliens possessed four eyes, long blue nails, ruby
colored skin, and baggy clothes like a mix between leather and
cotton.
“Hello Mr. Oatfield,” the voice of the alien sounded distorted.
Val noticed that the lips of round alien head spoke into some sort of
slim metal device that wrapped around the head and attached to the
triangular ears of the alien as headphones. He assumed it must have
been some sort of translator since he could hear some strange words
whispered by the creature into the device.
“What do you want? Why am I here?” Val kept shaking in place,
but since the alien sat where his talk show guests sat, and he sat
where he normally sat to interview he felt strangely like he
controlled the situation even though the set was just a fake.
“We wanted to speak to one of the human leaders, so here you are.”
The alien responded, calmly and plainly.
“But I'm not a leader of the humans! I don't work in government at
all!” Oatfield lost mental control when he couldn't really grasp
the situation. No planned questions or jokes. He was good at jokes
and improv, but nothing fit here.
“Electoral positions are temporary. Every governmental position is
temporary. Dictators are overthrown or even die of old age. Those who
influence the masses are the powerful. Dictators even use them to
keep their people under control.”
“I don't support any party in my commentary.” Val now defended
himself. He decided that he may as well just ride this dream out
until it ended. Looking at it as a dream worked the best.
The alien tapped his knee five times, a gesture of frustration in
his culture, something that flew over Val's head. “Your show is
extraordinarily popular and has been going on for many years. What
you say about things influences people. We are merely asking that you
put a good word in for us when we make our official arrival on Earth.
In fact we have a wonderful dinner set up for you to show our good
will.”
And so the aliens began lobbying the leaders of culture, instead of
politicans for their arrival on Earth. With the extravagant dinner
and other bribes he, along with others ushered in an era of peace,
but also alien interests as the Vlorpleons settled on Earth with
little problems. They secured the right to vote quickly and managed
to set up business fast. The politicians awaited their bribes but
they were much rarer and pressure against the government mostly came
from the people as they were influenced by TV and other media.
What did you watch today?
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