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Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Today's #flashfiction #SantaVSMerlin

“Merry Christmas!”
The Easter Bunny*



Today, instead of a carol, as was originally planned(I did love them so though, and I hope you did to) I created a Langdon's Flash Fiction's Christmas Special! (Don't think I'll rerun this every year Rudolf the Red-Nose Reindeer style)



Santa VS Merlin



       “So you're the most powerful wizard on Earth?” Merlin looked Santa Claus. Over the years Merlin had battled many wizards. He battled them for many different reasons. Often it was to prove strength. Most wizards who battled Merlin wanted to prove they were stronger and place themselves in wizard history. They failed. Here Merlin wanted to prove that he was stronger. His crystal ball had signaled him to St. Nick's power and Merlin, who had developed an ego about his wizarding power, needed to prove that he was the better wizard.
      “I wouldn't call myself a wizard,” replied Santa Claus. “Ho, ho, ho! Why I'm no wizard at all. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get back to working on delivering toys.”
       “Liar. I have enchanted my crystal ball to detect wizards of the highest strength and it has found you. Now ready yourself wizard. The only way I can prove I am the more powerful wizard is with a duel.”
Merlin immediately waved his wand to summon a fireball to launch at Santa Claus. The fireball hit Santa Claus. Nothing happened. The wonderful, jolly old man was unaffected. In the middle of Santa's Workshop Merlin summoned fierce tornadoes, sheets of ice, and lighting. Merlin waved his wand to pull forth a mass of debris from a pocket dimension to throttle Mr. Claus. Once again nothing happened. The Elves fled in terror.
       “What is the meaning of this?” Merlin stepped back.
       Santa Claus walked towards Merlin. “Please stop. You're scaring the elves and destroying the workshop.”
       After a moment of thought Merlin then shouted, “Your coat is enchanted isn't it? It's the only way you could have survived!”
       “Of course it is. I have to deliver presents around the world. I need to be able survive any sort of weather conditions I run across. Any kind of temperature, wind, ice, lighting, debris if there's a volcanic eruption, I need to survive anything. I can't let anything ruin Christmas.”
       “A coat that grants you such invincibility. Impossible! Unless that red is...no that's Arch-Demon blood isn't it? You're a demon slayer!” It had been a hundred years since Merlin had met one.
       “Possibly. Now please leave my workshop. There are toys to be made.”
       “If you were capable of killing a demon were all those other tales of your powers true? I thought they may have been exaggeration just as I have had exaggeration of my powers.” Merlin started to run the tales of Santa Claus through his head and wondered if they were something he should consider in battle. “Are you truly all seeing?”
      Santa's face grew more serious as he gazed at the clock and saw that Merlin had been adding more time onto delaying Christmas progress. “As in 'he knows if you've been bad or good'? Before you came to fight me you jaywalked as a shortcut to get some soda that you stole by temporarily dematerializing the machine.”
      “What?” Merlin found the demon slaying shocking enough but with his vast knowledge of all that is magical besides being born a god of some form he could count the ways he could think of obtaining omniscience on one hand. “Fine. You've impressed me. But I will just cast a simple aging curse and that will be the end of you.”
       “I will not age. I distort time to deliver my gifts and to live long enough to make every Christmas splendid with them. With how much time your wasting I may have to use up more time magic in this room. Time is already slowed enough to make room for making toys but now with all the repairs, you've really set things back.” Santa Claus looked at the clock once again. Then a clock beneath it that showed time in the world outside. He was disappointed. Eating cookies in slower that usual time would be even more difficult if he would have to repair the entire shop.
          “Oh? You care so much about your workshop? Well I just turn the entire thing into ash for you! How about you repair it after that!” Merlin stopped caring about proving he was better than the red coated wizard and just showing spite to make up for his wounded pride. Merlin hadn't been shrugged off like this before. He waved his wand and a sort of red aura began to surround Merlin. It seemed like a simple heat at first. But it began to grow. Soon Merlin started to resemble a growing star and began consuming what was around him. By the time the elves realized what was going on Merlin's fiery girth blocked the way to the door.
Santa Claus remained calm and thought for a moment. Then he pulled out his cellphone from his coat and pushed a speed dial number. A small blue sprite appeared and Santa Claus whispered something to it. Soon snow and ice fell upon Merlin's fireball. In contact with the heat the snow melted into water. The heat was incredible but eventually enough snow and ice absorbed Merlin's ball of fire.
Merlin exhausted looked at the sprite. “Who are you?”
        “Jack Frost!” The sprite merrily replied.
        “He's one of my many friends. I take it with your hot-headed nature Merlin you haven't made many of them have you? Now please leave my shop before I call the Easter Bunny. To protect himself while he delivers eggs all around the world he has trained in every martial art on the planet.”
      “Threatening me with a rabbit? You mock me you fat fool! If I can't kill you normally I hit you with every curse I have and then end it all by making you a miserable little toad! You'll regret immortality when you're hopping around while suffering through fifty different Nightmare Curses!”
Santa Claus walked up to Merlin and placed his hand on his shoulder. “I have had to deal with villains who have tried to ruin Christmas with magical curses so I found an enchanted belt that protects me from all curses to make sure that I can always do my job to fill Christmas with cheer.”
        “No. But that kind of belt doesn't exist. It's no magical artifact I've heard of.”
        “Alright I lied, I didn't find it. I made it with the same magic I use to make my toys.”
        “No one could be that powerful,” Merlin mumbled. He looked at his wand, what he thought to be the most powerful magical tool ever made. He thought about all the years he had spent in all those realities gathering all that magical power and wondered about how St. Nick had gathered his. “You may think you're the greatest wizard but we will meet again!” Merlin shouted in an attempt to save face with himself.
         Santa Claus looked around. “Time to start repairing the workshop.”



Author Comment: The moral of this Christmas story is don't mess with Santa Claus.

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