“Merry
Christmas!”
The Easter
Bunny*
Today, instead
of a carol, as was originally planned(I did love them so though, and
I hope you did to) I created a Langdon's Flash Fiction's Christmas
Special! (Don't think I'll rerun this every year Rudolf the Red-Nose
Reindeer style)
Santa VS
Merlin
“So you're
the most powerful wizard on Earth?” Merlin looked Santa Claus. Over
the years Merlin had battled many wizards. He battled them for many
different reasons. Often it was to prove strength. Most wizards who
battled Merlin wanted to prove they were stronger and place
themselves in wizard history. They failed. Here Merlin wanted to
prove that he was stronger. His crystal ball had signaled him to St.
Nick's power and Merlin, who had developed an ego about his wizarding
power, needed to prove that he was the better wizard.
“I wouldn't
call myself a wizard,” replied Santa Claus. “Ho, ho, ho! Why I'm no wizard at
all. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get back to working on
delivering toys.”
“Liar. I have
enchanted my crystal ball to detect wizards of the highest strength
and it has found you. Now ready yourself wizard. The only way I can
prove I am the more powerful wizard is with a duel.”
Merlin
immediately waved his wand to summon a fireball to launch at Santa
Claus. The fireball hit Santa Claus. Nothing happened. The wonderful,
jolly old man was unaffected. In the middle of Santa's Workshop
Merlin summoned fierce tornadoes, sheets of ice, and lighting. Merlin
waved his wand to pull forth a mass of debris from a pocket dimension
to throttle Mr. Claus. Once again nothing happened. The Elves fled in
terror.
“What is the
meaning of this?” Merlin stepped back.
Santa Claus
walked towards Merlin. “Please stop. You're scaring the elves and
destroying the workshop.”
After a moment
of thought Merlin then shouted, “Your coat is enchanted isn't it?
It's the only way you could have survived!”
“Of course it
is. I have to deliver presents around the world. I need to be able
survive any sort of weather conditions I run across. Any kind of
temperature, wind, ice, lighting, debris if there's a volcanic
eruption, I need to survive anything. I can't let anything ruin
Christmas.”
“A coat that
grants you such invincibility. Impossible! Unless that red is...no
that's Arch-Demon blood isn't it? You're a demon slayer!” It had
been a hundred years since Merlin had met one.
“Possibly.
Now please leave my workshop. There are toys to be made.”
“If you were
capable of killing a demon were all those other tales of your powers
true? I thought they may have been exaggeration just as I have had
exaggeration of my powers.” Merlin started to run the tales of
Santa Claus through his head and wondered if they were something he
should consider in battle. “Are you truly all seeing?”
Santa's face
grew more serious as he gazed at the clock and saw that Merlin had
been adding more time onto delaying Christmas progress. “As in 'he
knows if you've been bad or good'? Before you came to fight me you
jaywalked as a shortcut to get some soda that you stole by
temporarily dematerializing the machine.”
“What?”
Merlin found the demon slaying shocking enough but with his vast
knowledge of all that is magical besides being born a god of some
form he could count the ways he could think of obtaining omniscience
on one hand. “Fine. You've impressed me. But I will just cast a
simple aging curse and that will be the end of you.”
“I will not
age. I distort time to deliver my gifts and to live long enough to
make every Christmas splendid with them. With how much time your
wasting I may have to use up more time magic in this room. Time is
already slowed enough to make room for making toys but now with all
the repairs, you've really set things back.” Santa Claus looked at
the clock once again. Then a clock beneath it that showed time in the
world outside. He was disappointed. Eating cookies in slower that
usual time would be even more difficult if he would have to repair
the entire shop.
“Oh? You care
so much about your workshop? Well I just turn the entire thing into
ash for you! How about you repair it after that!” Merlin stopped
caring about proving he was better than the red coated wizard and
just showing spite to make up for his wounded pride. Merlin hadn't
been shrugged off like this before. He waved his wand and a sort of
red aura began to surround Merlin. It seemed like a simple heat at
first. But it began to grow. Soon Merlin started to resemble a
growing star and began consuming what was around him. By the time the
elves realized what was going on Merlin's fiery girth blocked the way
to the door.
Santa Claus
remained calm and thought for a moment. Then he pulled out his
cellphone from his coat and pushed a speed dial number. A small blue
sprite appeared and Santa Claus whispered something to it. Soon snow
and ice fell upon Merlin's fireball. In contact with the heat the
snow melted into water. The heat was incredible but eventually enough
snow and ice absorbed Merlin's ball of fire.
Merlin
exhausted looked at the sprite. “Who are you?”
“Jack Frost!”
The sprite merrily replied.
“He's one of
my many friends. I take it with your hot-headed nature Merlin you
haven't made many of them have you? Now please leave my shop before I
call the Easter Bunny. To protect himself while he delivers eggs all
around the world he has trained in every martial art on the planet.”
“Threatening
me with a rabbit? You mock me you fat fool! If I can't kill you
normally I hit you with every curse I have and then end it all by
making you a miserable little toad! You'll regret immortality when
you're hopping around while suffering through fifty different
Nightmare Curses!”
Santa Claus
walked up to Merlin and placed his hand on his shoulder. “I have
had to deal with villains who have tried to ruin Christmas with
magical curses so I found an enchanted belt that protects me from all
curses to make sure that I can always do my job to fill Christmas
with cheer.”
“No. But that
kind of belt doesn't exist. It's no magical artifact I've heard of.”
“Alright I
lied, I didn't find it. I made it with the same magic I use to make
my toys.”
“No one could
be that powerful,” Merlin mumbled. He looked at his wand, what he
thought to be the most powerful magical tool ever made. He thought
about all the years he had spent in all those realities gathering all
that magical power and wondered about how St. Nick had gathered his.
“You may think you're the greatest wizard but we will meet again!”
Merlin shouted in an attempt to save face with himself.
Santa Claus
looked around. “Time to start repairing the workshop.”
Author Comment:
The moral of this Christmas story is don't mess with Santa Claus.
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