“I fell into a burning ring of fire. I went down, down, down and
the flames went higher, and it burns, burns, burns, the ring of
fire...”
Dante's Inferno* #quote
Today I found a talking rabbit and had a deeply enlightening
political debate with it. Anyway onto the flash fiction!
Bureaucratman
Doctor Obliteration laughed as he pulled the lever on his villainous
device. With this he defeat all the opposing superheroes and
supervillains and the world would be open to his dominion. Nothing
happened. He pulled the lever again and again until his hands grew
sweaty under the black gloves of his all black costume. He turned
around to yell at his minions about what was going wrong with the
machine. But instead he found only a superhero who's costume was a
mask with a B on the forehead and a business suit.
“Who are you?” He asked the hero.
“I am Bureaucratman. I have the power to know everything about
every bureaucracy in all existence. It all happened when I was
magically infused with a pile of paperwork. But enough of my origin.
Your plans have been foiled.”
“What are you talking about fool? You look like nothing like an
ordinary man.”
Bureaucratman magically summoned a suitcase, “I know your secret
identity. As soon as I touched some paperwork in your lair that you
touched I knew. I bonded then with your driver's license and every
other bit of bureaucracy you have every dealt with. With that I can
easily put you away with the help of other heroes even if you escape.
Also the reason you're machine isn't working is that I bribed all
your minions by magically granting them knowledge on how to get
monstrous amounts of tax deductions. They sabotaged your machine and
all the hidden weapons in your costume for me. You're powerless.”
Doctor Obliteration pulled the machine's lever again and then tried
to use his weapons. He groaned. “Why couldn't you have been someone
like Captain Courage-Fist. A fist to the face is a much less
humiliating way to lose.”
Bureaucratman smiled. “And wait till you see what I do to you in
court with my powers of paperwork villain. You'll never want to
commit a crime again.”
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