“The fork ran away with the spoon.”
The Matrix* #quote
Today I went to a fun dinner with extended family. Cousins and more
abound! The food was scrumptious. Seems I am fond of shrimp
enchiladas. Anyway onto the flash fiction!
The Golem Building Do It Yourself Guide
Ever see those animated rock creatures on TV and said, “Wow I want
one of those!” Well, those creatures are one of many kinds of
golems that can be summoned through magical ritual. Of course as any
sensible wizard citizen might think to themselves, “But I'm not an
experienced Level VIII ritual sorcerer. How could I summon a golem to
do my bidding! Guess I'm going to have to resort to second rate
zombie slave labor.” Well, follow this simple do it yourself guide
and you can get the golem of your needs.
1) Order at least 100 pounds of granite or whatever size you want
your golem to be.
2) Get the book “The Everyman's Component Reference vol. 20”.
Golems are pages 150-200. Get components appropriate to the rock
golem weight as listed.
3) Draw a ritual symbol on flat concrete with chalk appropriate to
the size and weight of every single one of the components you used
and their positions. Use “Tom's Ritual Measures And Diagrams volume
10.” as a guide. Golems are pages 300-400.
4) Fail the ritual.
5) Keep trying the ritual and failing until you get frustrated and
call a professional because you're not an experienced Level VIII
ritual sorcerer capable of doing this work. You should call the
Golden Ritual Sorcerer Guild for all summoning needs. We can do what
you can't for cheap.
-This guide was created by the
Golden Ritual Sorcerer Guild
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