Today's #flashfiction #HowAThrillerGetsReadyForWork

“We did a bang-up job.”

The Three Stooges* #quote

Today I'm heading to CJ's party, anyway onto the flash fiction!

How A Thriller Gets Ready For Work

            The first order of business when getting ready for work a thrilling job is obviously to pick out your weapon. That is, if you're not going for bare-handed strangulation. I hardly ever go with bare-hands because they don't cast the best shadows or make the scariest marks. Also I can't make suspenseful and terrifying noises with my hands unless I really grow out my nails which is a massive bother. That's why I go with a chainsaw or power tools. Great for leaving personal marks, making scary noises and suspense, and getting the job done.

           The next step in getting ready for work is the outfit. I've seen many thrillers go really elaborate. Scars, putting stuff in their face. All sorts of stuff. I don't bother with that. Even robes are a little to much. Anything that makes it hard to move makes it hard to do your job. Normal clothes and a mask will actually do just fine.

           The last, and often overlooked part, is picking location to thrill. There are actually better places to do it than others. Houses are a massive bother. It is extremely annoying to cut phone lines and then mess with Internet too so they can't contact police. That can be hours of work you don't want to do, or even days considering you have to do it sneakily. (Also installing timed breakers that you can trigger to shut off the power at proper, suspenseful moments.) And houses are usually in the city, you have to lock everything in an incredibly intricate quick succession so they don't just bolt to the neighbors asking for help.

           The best place is the woods. It is very, very, easy. You don't even need to set up anything to jam their cellphones(I hate cellphones. They get the police crawling all over me quickly and make the people safe as the police walk them through the steps to safety. Nothing thrilling about that.) Plus in the woods the animals make a bunch of scary noises for you.

          Now that you know how a thriller gets ready you've gotten a better idea of how we work. You can now make a more educated decision whether this is the right career path for you!