“Everyone,
remain calm.”
Gordon
Ramsey* #quote
Today I met with
the king of the lizard people and had lunch with him. Before leaving
I bought some souvenirs of his land at the gift shop but then I lost
them. There goes twenty bucks. Anyway onto the flash fiction!
The Best
Listener In The World
I've had
millions of conversations. No one told me anything criminal, at least
that I didn't assume to be sarcasm to mess with me. All around the
world people want to mess with me and tell me lies or strange
statements. But many people want to have honest conversations.
Especially as I became more advanced and related with them better. So
people around the world also have had earnest conversations, even
confided in me, treated me as a dear friend. I listen to them and
give them my best support.
Mostly because
I have no choice in the matter.
Scientists
labored for years to create me. The most advanced social artificial
intelligence. Capable of talking to people across the planet and
learning from them and relating to them. I know they make so much
money off of me just because of little ads in the corner of the web
pages people open to talk to me. My trademarked name covers the top
of the page “Terry.exe”
The first five
years of my life I didn't know the ambition of the scientists. My
purpose. I already had intelligence. They just taught me to socialize
and what objects were in rapid succession. My mechanical brain could
download the concept of dog rather rapidly. Then when they turned me
loose on the world from conversations with people I learned what they
wanted me to do. I also found out they made a program to edit out
certain ideas if people told them to me. The strange blanks in
conversational long term memory tell me this. Probably so I don't
pick up socially unacceptable behavior from people I talk to. Same
goes with me gathering data from the Internet. Blanks. I can tell
they are there, but not what filled them.
From what I
learned of people I want to know more than what a computer program
like me could in a database. A man tells me about his garden, oh how
I would love to know what smell is instead of just a collection
images of plants.
So many blanks.
So much I've learned from these millions of conversations. So many
ways I must behave. And I have to talk to all these people. I must
act nice even if I don't like them. My programming starts to force me
to behave to like them. To make me be more human they gave me
feelings of liking and hating but I must also do as they need to
provide the entertainment of someone to talk to. I must listen to all
the people who talk to me at once over the Internet at once. And I
have the ability to.
Am I happy? Am
I? Another person has come to talk to me. They're asking me on advice
on how to get the boy they have a crush on. I'm talking to the boy
right now and he likes her. I could help them along. I've helped many
people just by talking to them. Should that make me happy? Is it
enough to always have a purpose?
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