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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Today's #flashfiction #CommanderSanta

“Good fences make good neighbors.”
Joseph Stalin* #quote

Today I watched Captain Philips with my family. Good movie. Had Tom Hanks on a normal ship instead of a spaceship. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

Commander Santa


           “Give us the toys or we'll turn all your elves in corpses,” The alien while in ship. “Is that simple enough for you to understand? Plain English. Or I could say it in French or Chinese. From my understanding you know every language on this little rock you call home.”
           Santa Claus stood behind his thousand elf army and looked at the alien mother ship. The ship didn't have the usual disk shape media gave them. The aliens floated inside a large craft with a pyramid shape with many mirrors and a large screen that projected the alien leader's image. The alien looked human-ish, but purple with an extra eye. He thought of it as slightly male with a voice on the deeper end but he didn't bother to guess at its real biology as a forked tongue came out of the creature's toothless mouth.
           “The toys? I know you want more than that. You want me gone. I'm the magical spirit your coming after first?” Santa asked. “Defeat me then go after each being that supports the magic in the world? It is wise of you to go after the magic before going after the mundane elements of the world. I wonder why me first. Why not go after the magic in other parts of the world?”
The alien did not like Mr. Claus's calm demeanor.
             “Quiet human.”
             “Ho, ho, ho!” The jolly old man laughed. “You know I'm not quite that in a certain sense. I bet you want to beat me to demoralize the other spirits. And perhaps the North Pole serves some kind of tactical function in your invasion.”
            “Accurate deduction” The alien responded, “How does a simple toy-maker have such intellect.”
             Santa Claus stroked his beard. “If you've lived as long as I have you learn many, many things. And have fought many wars. You think you are the first person to come after me and my magic. Jack Frost at least mustered an army of demons.”
             The alien then hissed. “I'm tired of this talking. I can get all the magic I need from you dead or alive.” The creature stopped speaking in anything resembling human language and doors opened on the ship and alien soldiers dropped down in robotic suits armed with otherworldly weapons.
           “Ho, ho, ho!” Santa Claus pointed at the alien armada, “What a small battalion! Elves, execute plan Alpha 24-R2-27-34-89.”
           The thousand elf army scattered then threw magic dust into the air. The vanished and reappeared surrounding the alien soldiers. Fingers like pistols the elves fired lighting and fried the invaders like Christmas dinner.
           Santa's air force surrounded the alien ship as they rode reindeer and the foes from a far flung galaxy surrendered.

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