“Good fences
make good neighbors.”
Joseph
Stalin* #quote
Today I watched
Captain Philips with my family. Good movie. Had Tom Hanks on a normal
ship instead of a spaceship. Anyway onto the flash fiction!
Commander
Santa
“Give us the
toys or we'll turn all your elves in corpses,” The alien while in
ship. “Is that simple enough for you to understand? Plain English.
Or I could say it in French or Chinese. From my understanding you
know every language on this little rock you call home.”
Santa Claus
stood behind his thousand elf army and looked at the alien mother
ship. The ship didn't have the usual disk shape media gave them. The
aliens floated inside a large craft with a pyramid shape with many
mirrors and a large screen that projected the alien leader's image.
The alien looked human-ish, but purple with an extra eye. He thought
of it as slightly male with a voice on the deeper end but he didn't
bother to guess at its real biology as a forked tongue came out of
the creature's toothless mouth.
“The toys? I
know you want more than that. You want me gone. I'm the magical
spirit your coming after first?” Santa asked. “Defeat me then go
after each being that supports the magic in the world? It is wise of
you to go after the magic before going after the mundane elements of
the world. I wonder why me first. Why not go after the magic in other
parts of the world?”
The alien did
not like Mr. Claus's calm demeanor.
“Quiet
human.”
“Ho, ho, ho!”
The jolly old man laughed. “You know I'm not quite that in a
certain sense. I bet you want to beat me to demoralize the other
spirits. And perhaps the North Pole serves some kind of tactical
function in your invasion.”
“Accurate deduction”
The alien responded, “How does a simple toy-maker have such
intellect.”
Santa Claus
stroked his beard. “If you've lived as long as I have you learn
many, many things. And have fought many wars. You think you are the
first person to come after me and my magic. Jack Frost at least
mustered an army of demons.”
The alien then
hissed. “I'm tired of this talking. I can get all the magic I need
from you dead or alive.” The creature stopped speaking in anything
resembling human language and doors opened on the ship and alien
soldiers dropped down in robotic suits armed with otherworldly
weapons.
“Ho, ho, ho!”
Santa Claus pointed at the alien armada, “What a small battalion!
Elves, execute plan Alpha 24-R2-27-34-89.”
The thousand
elf army scattered then threw magic dust into the air. The vanished
and reappeared surrounding the alien soldiers. Fingers like pistols
the elves fired lighting and fried the invaders like Christmas
dinner.
Santa's air
force surrounded the alien ship as they rode reindeer and the foes
from a far flung galaxy surrendered.
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