“It's hammer time!”
Bob the Builder* #quote
Today I started work on my Mom's Christmas present(which she already
knows of because I had to ask her the dimensions and what picture to
use ahead of time hence why I can post about it on the blog). The
present being hand drawn portraits of her adorable little chihuahuas.
Anyway onto the flash fiction!
The Divine Meeting
I worked hard to reach the point of mastery of magic I had. The
labor from doing it caused most of the gray hairs on my head. People
mistook me for an elder wizard although I was merely middle aged.
Though being middle aged was enough for some kids to call you an old
man these days. Didn't help that I still wore old fashioned blue
wizard robes. Even some elder wizards are now just wearing modern
street clothes when they practice magic. Do they have any respect for
the craft? I really did look old though.
It probably happened because I spent many stressful nights studying
and performing all magic I could. I stress of it all made my skin
stop being the light chocolate color it had when I was young and
instead now it looked like a wrinkled tree with an aged brown bark.
It paid off though. Immensely. I didn't care how I looked because
today I wasn't going to look at myself, I was going to look at a god.
I took such great control of magic I could travel to the realm of the
gods. And so I decided to meet one. Specifically the one that put
magic into my world. I would get the answers to everything about
magic now. I had no idea what the god looked like or anything about
it. I only used magic so far to locate it within the many planes of
reality to teleport to where it lived. I eagerly teleported when I
finished my spell.
I arrived in a very plain looking room with an unplugged waffle iron
on a couch. The couch faced a television that had on a very generic
cop show.
The waffle iron then flapped open and closed like a mouth as a voice
filled the room. “What do you want wizard? Why are you here? Can't
you see I'm watching TV?”
I did the magical calculations a thousand times to make sure I
didn't accidentally teleport myself into a realm of lava or
something. I knew I was in the right place. So despite the
improbability of it I then said, “Um, are you the god of magic?”
The television turned off, and the waffle iron said to me, “Ah,
I'll just watch it on re-runs. Should have figured you came here to
ask me questions and since you went to all this trouble I'll oblige.
But only once. After you leave you can't come back or I'll put some
nasty curse on you. Can't have you barging in on me all the time.”
“Thank you,” I replied. “Um, why are you a waffle iron?”
“Why can't I be a waffle iron?”
I couldn't quite come up with a response on that subject so I asked
something else, “Why did you give us magic?”
“Thought you might find it useful.”
“But what about the wars?”
“Nobody complains to the god of trees that you humans are both
making houses with trees and beating each other with sticks.”
“Point taken...how do you master all magic?”
The god laughed. “Oh greedy now? Well only I can get all of
it. Y'know being god and all. But for you...study a lot, drink milk
and have fun. I advise video games on the last one.”
“Drink milk? Have fun?” I didn't quite follow the last two.
“Well milk has to do with some interplanar, chemistry that is a
bit beyond your mortal comprehension. And having fun, well to focus
and do all the complexities of magic you need to be calm. Not all
stressed up like you are. Spirits ain't going to flow through and
connect with a tense dude like you. Now the show I turned off is
gonna re-run but the one coming up isn't going to for awhile so I
gotta watch it while it's new so yeah I'm getting you out of my
house.”
In a flash of white light the god of magic teleported me home.
No comments:
Post a Comment