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Thursday, August 22, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #TheDivineMeeting

“It's hammer time!”
Bob the Builder* #quote



        Today I started work on my Mom's Christmas present(which she already knows of because I had to ask her the dimensions and what picture to use ahead of time hence why I can post about it on the blog). The present being hand drawn portraits of her adorable little chihuahuas. Anyway onto the flash fiction!


The Divine Meeting


         I worked hard to reach the point of mastery of magic I had. The labor from doing it caused most of the gray hairs on my head. People mistook me for an elder wizard although I was merely middle aged. Though being middle aged was enough for some kids to call you an old man these days. Didn't help that I still wore old fashioned blue wizard robes. Even some elder wizards are now just wearing modern street clothes when they practice magic. Do they have any respect for the craft? I really did look old though.
        It probably happened because I spent many stressful nights studying and performing all magic I could. I stress of it all made my skin stop being the light chocolate color it had when I was young and instead now it looked like a wrinkled tree with an aged brown bark.
          It paid off though. Immensely. I didn't care how I looked because today I wasn't going to look at myself, I was going to look at a god. I took such great control of magic I could travel to the realm of the gods. And so I decided to meet one. Specifically the one that put magic into my world. I would get the answers to everything about magic now. I had no idea what the god looked like or anything about it. I only used magic so far to locate it within the many planes of reality to teleport to where it lived. I eagerly teleported when I finished my spell.
         I arrived in a very plain looking room with an unplugged waffle iron on a couch. The couch faced a television that had on a very generic cop show.
        The waffle iron then flapped open and closed like a mouth as a voice filled the room. “What do you want wizard? Why are you here? Can't you see I'm watching TV?”
        I did the magical calculations a thousand times to make sure I didn't accidentally teleport myself into a realm of lava or something. I knew I was in the right place. So despite the improbability of it I then said, “Um, are you the god of magic?”
        The television turned off, and the waffle iron said to me, “Ah, I'll just watch it on re-runs. Should have figured you came here to ask me questions and since you went to all this trouble I'll oblige. But only once. After you leave you can't come back or I'll put some nasty curse on you. Can't have you barging in on me all the time.”
        “Thank you,” I replied. “Um, why are you a waffle iron?”
         “Why can't I be a waffle iron?”
          I couldn't quite come up with a response on that subject so I asked something else, “Why did you give us magic?”
         “Thought you might find it useful.”
         “But what about the wars?”
         “Nobody complains to the god of trees that you humans are both making houses with trees and beating each other with sticks.”
         “Point taken...how do you master all magic?”
         The god laughed. “Oh greedy now? Well only I can get all of it. Y'know being god and all. But for you...study a lot, drink milk and have fun. I advise video games on the last one.”
         “Drink milk? Have fun?” I didn't quite follow the last two.
         “Well milk has to do with some interplanar, chemistry that is a bit beyond your mortal comprehension. And having fun, well to focus and do all the complexities of magic you need to be calm. Not all stressed up like you are. Spirits ain't going to flow through and connect with a tense dude like you. Now the show I turned off is gonna re-run but the one coming up isn't going to for awhile so I gotta watch it while it's new so yeah I'm getting you out of my house.”
       In a flash of white light the god of magic teleported me home.

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