“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.”
If you're ever in need of making lighting strike twice in the same spot, get a lightning rod. Or become a wizard. Whichever is easier for you. Anyway onto the flash fiction!
The Extra-Extra Reserves
“So how you think the catapult guys are doing?” a soldier asked while he spoke to a comrade in arms. Both of them had their armor to their sides, halfway on so they could put it the rest on quickly in case a threat arose. Grimy from war the dirt on their skin made them look rusty. Water was left to feed the army, using it to wash was a waste during a siege.
The soldier shrugged, taking a bite of stale bread, his war rations for the day. After he finished the bite he spoke, “Probably just dodging the arrows that come and loading up rocks like they should. What you want to be a rock guy Edward?”
Edward responded, “Well, Cedric, I'd rather die of an arrow or exhaustion attacking our enemies then of boredom.”
The two soldiers were in a massive army of fifty thousand, but in the exact middle. The exact middle block of troops that never did anything, being saved to be used after the extra-extra reserves were used. They'd done nothing but eat, sleep and carry their own supplies.
Edward then said, “I spy something starting with a S.”
“Did you spy a soldier?” Cedric said, looking at Edward and the tens of thousands of comrades making an ocean on the horizon. The siege had been going on for four months. “And if you say A it's going to be armor. We've played this hundreds of times before.”
“At least I'm trying to help pass the time,” Edward glared at Cedric. “You know nothing interesting happens here.”
Suddenly screams erupted through the ranks of the extra-extra reserves. A man on fire ran past Edward and Cedric to, in a few feet, manage to gather his mind enough even in pain and fear to begin rolling on the ground to put himself out. Other soldiers came to put the man out, and he managed to actually come out of being on fire with surprisingly few injuries.
After the man was carted to the army doctors Cedric asked what'd happened. Supposedly he was one of the cooks for the captains in charge of extra-extra reserve battalions. A cooking accident managed to get him on fire, but everybody had a different story as to what happened exactly.
“Well that was interesting,” Cedric told Edward as he sat down and began to continue eating his rations.
“Yeah, it was...” after a short pause Edward said, “I spy something beginning with the letter T.”