“I've just perfected an Electronic Hair Bat-Analyzer which may hold the key to this baffling question.”
My friend Jessica is coming over this weekend so that'll be stacks of funness. Anyway onto the flash fiction!
“We need artillery!” The commander shouted while the castle he was entrusted to protect was being besieged. “With it we can knock out their catapults. Our archers can only do so much!”
“Lord Kane, we have no artillery, the last commander to use this castle took it all,” the second in command did not like being the bearer of bad news. His leader did not take his anger out on his subordinates, but the charisma that got Kane his position made him one of those people who's mood fills the entire room. If he's happy you feel happy, if he's sad you feel sad. He radiates.
The commander clenched his fist and said to his second-in-command, “Captain Bernard, you're absolutely certain there is no artillery of any kind in the castle?”
The captain replied, “Well there is technically one cannon that's a display piece.”
Lord Kane then waved his arms in the air, “Then why didn't you tell me in the first place! A cannon is a cannon! It doesn't matter if it's a display piece!”
Captain Bernard then meekly replied, “Sir, the problem is that...it's made of glass.”
For what felt like an hour to the captain the commander didn't say anything. Then the commander shrugged and said, “A cannon is a cannon.”
After pulling it up to the castle walls they loaded it up piles of gunpowder and a cannonball. They aimed it at the enemy artillery. Then the commander shouted, “Now!” Everyone on the castle walls retreated. This confused the enemy. They did not notice the clear glass cannon and they focused mostly on the archers firing on them anyway. They assumed Lord Kane had nothing but archers. And to see them retreating made no sense. The enemy commander said to charge since he thought they simply ran out of arrows. The enemy started to climb the wall with ladders. Kane had put a long fuse on the cannon instead of a few second one. In about thirty seconds his soldiers managed to get behind cover and the cannon fired.
The cannonball went toward the artillery and the cannon itself shattered and flew in every direction. Kane's troops were unharmed because they were behind cover. Most of the opposing general's forces were hit with pieces of glass from the cannon. And the cannonball itself took out one of the enemy catapults.
The enemy surrendered immediately afterward out of fear of Lord Kane possibly having another glass cannon.