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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Today's #Scifi #fantasy flash fiction #AHowToGuideToDimensionRunning

“1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.”
HAL 9000*

       Hey folks. Not too much happened today. As per usual my life is a roller-coaster of mundanity. (Probably just like yours!) Seizures were down which is good. CJ may not come over this weekend I spoke with him. He's starting his editing job next monday so he has to prepare and he may not get enough done for the weekend. Tommorrow my anime(japanese cartoon) club starts up again. Man is it awesome being a nerd. You get to do the coolest things. And those Japanese cartoons can be quite entertaining if you avoid the...um...questionable ones. But the most entertaining part of the club is the friends there anyways not the cartoons. Anyway onto the flash fiction!



A How To Guide To Dimension Running


      Wanna learn how to run extra-dimensionally? First you need to concentrate. This is done by having a stupidly large amount of greed. The kinda of greed that makes you insane enough to go into the extra-dimensions in the first place despite all the dimension-police and crazy extra-dimensional monsters that will be inevitably chasing you. But your greed can pay off. I have one of those dimension-diamonds that will set me for the next month in lavish luxury if I can get it back home into the normal world. And it took me only a day of searching to find it.
        Now that you have your greed you can get to the actual running. The thing that keeps you from being caught and either being sent to dimensional prison or being devoured by vile extra-dimensional monsters. No vehicles can be brought into the dimensions so everything is done on foot. You could try running in just your normal three dimensions Earth style. You may get away with it if you're some sort of Olympic runner. But in my opinion if you don't twist through dimensions you're in trouble.
       To move dimensionally just use whatever dimension-shift device you have naturally. Mine's a bracelet with buttons lining it. I just push a button to pull myself along to another dimension. First time your brain tries to comprehend it you're going to feel like you're going through three years of school in a single second. You know how reality normally has just up, down, left, right, forward, and back? Well with a dimension shift device you can add and subtract directions. Or at least the directions you are experiencing so you can maneuver differently than those around you. I've gone straight through a dimensional being by becoming one dimensional. (When I asked a dimensional scientist one day how I could become one dimensional without my brain becoming expressed he used a flurry of gigantic sciency words along with an overly simplified explanation at the end of that I'm only kinda becoming one dimensional in transition and not becoming crushed, my atoms are sort of phasing one dimensionally but really staying the same. I didn't quite get it. Truthfully I don't think he gets it either and he was just making it up as he goes along.)
       Speaking of making it up as you go along...that is how you escape the police and the monsters. The police expect tactics or panic but not a middle ground. The monsters the same. So what I do is come up with a plan. Follow it for about five minutes then randomly do something different. Come up with a completely different plan. I mix up how long it takes me to change plans. But whenever they start to adapt themselves to what think is going to be my plan I'm doing something different. And no matter how nauseous it makes you...keep adding and subtracting the amount of directions you're traveling through.
        Now sometimes you're just moments away from being caught. Stuck in that moment where you think “I should just give up.” “I shouldn't have gone to the extra dimensions to get the dimension diamonds.” However there is a natural reaction. The natural panic that people have in the last moment. They either try to split themselves in as many directions as possible to confuse the police or monsters or try to slip by in 2D or 1D or even try to time travel, the most dangerous dimensional move of all(don't try, very few people have pulled it off without killing themselves) The police are used to those maneuvers. And the monsters are used to getting meals that way too.
     Me though.... I just go 4D to bluff the cops into thinking I'm going into a huge amount of dimensions then I flop right back into 3D and do my last dash while they scramble themselves expecting me to go into many more directions. I've saved my skin in so many ways like that.
     And that's the basics of running extra-dimensionally. Really I could give much more information. Information on paths and areas and even the specific monsters and cops and good ways to exercise and the best dimensional diamonds to pick up. So much I could cover. Maybe I should write a book. It could be a best seller! I smell money right now! And money I don't need to run from monsters and police to get! Ignore that last statement. Extra-dimensional running for the dimension diamonds is a perfectly fine living if you follow my advice. Oh, I forgot to mention why it's illegal. See taking the dimension diamonds from the additional dimensions damages the space-time continuum and can cause a new kind of environmental damage. I mean it's not too bad. I can run away from any of the dinosaurs that come from the past and from what I heard Benjamin Franklin and Genghis Khan love it here.

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