“I'm
too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts!”
Benjamin
Franklin*
#vampire! Today
is Episode 4 of the Vampiric Talents flash fiction series! Our dear
hero Cordell has come far huh? Anyone new to the series please read
the previous three episodes. As I've done previous days I've provided
blog links just in case you don't use the archive on the side of the
blog or scroll down.
(Episode
1)http://langdonflashfictions.blogspot.com/2012/08/todays-flash-fiction-vampiric-talents.html
(Episode
2)http://langdonflashfictions.blogspot.com/2012/08/vampiric-talents-ep-2-cordell-meets.html
(Episode
3)http://langdonflashfictions.blogspot.com/2012/08/vampiric-talents-ep3-cordell-meets.html
Vampiric
Talents Episode 4: Cordell Meets Dracula
“Cordell. I'd
like to give you something.” Jennifer told me in a serious tone.
while we walked along the road. I had nearly completely recovered
from all my wounds from the fight with the vampire hunter. It had
been several days after all. Jessica had stopped him before I had
gotten more than sunburn and bruises. We were only a few days away
from The Diox Cross. The sun was setting. Sunset was the time of
vampires. When the sun dipped to the horizon it weakened so we could
move without being burned but still could see. We could handle
sunlight after all. Just not as much as humans. That's why my
umbrella worked. At sunset it was unnecessary and I could move freely
like I was in an artificially lit room. But now I could stretch my
arms into the sky without fear of the Sun's rays.
“What do you
mean?” I asked her. I wondered what she meant about giving me
something. Did she mean the money? She said she already was going to
use it to help. Did she mean she wanted me to carry it? She always
carried it with her. I offered to carry the suitcase already so she
wouldn't have to but she always wanted to. I then wondered if she
meant the sandwich she was also carrying that we bought from the last
checkpoint. I realized that was a kinda silly thought considering her
tone of voice.
She looked at
me. “I've put you through so much garbage and I didn't know all the
crap all you vampires went through. I mean, I forced you to take me
hostage. I got you almost killed by a vampire hunter for crying out
loud because I made you look like you took me hostage.”
I laughed.
“Well actually I got the werewolves after me in the first place so
I may not have gotten out of town without your little plan. Thanks.
And you smacked that hunter good.”
She smiled.
“Thanks. But I've been rude at times. And you've been so nice me
despite all that. I'd like to give you a talent if you don't mind...”
I gave her a
glare. “Is this out of some new found pity for the vampire
condition? Is this just out of pity instead of kindness?” I know
she meant well but I almost felt like it was showing me as inferior.
She stepped
back. “No! Well yes...but no. I mean... I'm sorry. I was just never
told you had to do it. And I've been told to look down on your kind
for so long. And being with you all these days. You're not the
monster I imagined. You're more humane than many humans I've met. I
honestly thought you were going to blast that vampire hunters head
off. But you didn't.” She smiled. “You've just been so cool about
everything. I want to make up for all the garbage I put you through.
I also want to make up for all the other things I thought about
vampires. I mean...I even helped Dad with an anti-vampire propaganda
campaign during one of his elections and there was no vampire threat
to our town. So that's why I want to give you a talent. To make up
for it.”
I smiled. “You
could just give me that sandwich.” I wasn't hungry but I wanted to
lighten the mood.
She glared at
me. “I'm being serious!” Despite the fact she yelled she couldn't
help but chuckle.
I laughed.
“Alright. So what talent do you want to give me? Keep it small
though. I don't want to take anything too vital from you.”
She then said
to me, “Well you can just bite my neck until you find one you want
right? I remember that you found out the vampire hunter could do
carpentry. So however you take abilities you must be able to find out
what people can do.”
I then worriedly
waved my hand. “No! That could kill you!”
“What?” She
looked at me confused. “Why?”
I sighed. “Have
you ever wondered why someone goes limp after we bite them? It's
because we have a paralyzing toxin that we eject from our fangs. We
don't bite someone's neck out of necessity its so that they go limp
faster. It goes through them better. Then all the chemicals and cells
that take talents can be ejected from our fangs and go into you and
come back to us and the swap can occur. Too much and it could kill
you.”
“Wait.” Her
tin colored eyes focused on my mouth. “You shoot chemicals into
people when you bite them?” Her face had a little bit of a
disgusted look on it.
“Yeah.” I
hoped my following explanation would make it seem less creepy to her.
“All the biology behind it is really, really complicated.
There are college courses that teach you the exact specifics. But
what happens is that my fangs send chemicals and cells to read the
data in your brain. The cells are these bizarre cells that are kinda
like immune cells and neurons and there name is really long and
complicated and I'm sorry but I don't remember. But anyway those
cells go into your brain and latch on and read data in your brain.
Then they use the chemicals I shoot in to swap the information
completely back. My old cells are left behind but when they finish
taking the information they have to alter the passageways in your
brain to do it for my chemicals to work. That's why people forget
their abilities that are taken. And get woozy even if the toxin
doesn't effect them.”
Jennifer's jaw
dropped. “So people's who abilities are taken have vampire cells
left inside them?” She gasped a little. “Like that
violinist you said you stole a talent from? She has your cells inside
her?”
I shook my head
no. “No. Not anymore. The cells die off eventually. The last of
mine in her should have died off in her at least a day ago. There's
only a small chance there's something left. I bit that hunter for a
long time. My cells will probably be in him for a month. If I bite
you only a little then my cells will only be in you for a few days
tops if I'm careful. But if I were to just bite you forever those
cells and chemicals would overload your brain. But trust me if it
goes well everything is safe and everything will clear out of your
system quickly.” I hoped this past conversation didn't color her
opinion of vampires too much.
She smiled a
little awkwardly. “That doesn't sound too bad. Would you like to be
able to pick locks? I think it would be good talent to have if some
humans or werewolves capture you.” I wondered at first where she
had gotten such a talent. Then I decided I'd rather not know. She was
right that it would be useful. And I also figured that I should
prevent her from using it in the future.
“Yes.” I
smiled. “You're very right.”
She raised her
eyebrow. “You're tone changed quick. You just want to make sure I
can't pick locks anymore aren't you? Maybe I should have given you
the sandwich. I don't need it anymore anyways. We already got plenty
of money. I don't need it for plans like #73. That one blew up right
in my face. Broke into our shoddy old fashioned bank, slipped past
the cameras and the tuna still didn't work on the vault even though
it worked on the vault I practiced on at home.”
“I thought we
were being serious here.” I said to her.
She glared at
me. “I was being serious. I'm still a little mad that didn't work.
Though now that I think about it I should be happy. If it worked I
would have been out of the Carrothole with that bank money and we
would have never met. You probably would have been caught by the
werewolves or a vampire hunter or whatever and I would still be
thinking nasty things about vampires. It's all for the better. So how
are you going to bite me?”
I then said,
“Just give me your right arm. You're left handed right?”
“Right.”
She smiled. “Left.” She put her right arm forward.
“Right.” I
grabbed her right arm. I put my fangs into one of her veins. Now when
I take a talent I don't know about and experience the cells or the
chemicals, just like how when someone does their other biological
processes they don't know about cells doing things. Using your fangs
is just another process just like moving your arms is to humans so
it'll be difficult for me to describe it. Shooting out the paralyzing
toxin feels like breathing out along with something I couldn't come
up with a metaphor to describe to a human. So I “held my breath”
to put in as little as possible. Vampires are able to control the
toxin so they can steal from other vampires and vampires have a
decent resistance to the vampire toxin. After that I don't actually
feel the chemicals or cells. Instead in my head I have this ghostly
sensation like I'm having a waking dream where I'm performing the
talent I'm taking and then the dream comes to a jarring and often
unpleasant stop when I'm done. When searching through a brain the
waking dream keeps changing with you changing what your doing. When
only taking one talent its a one way street. But when I took the
talents of the hunter I passed by, but didn't take, several others
while going through his head. With Jennifer I went straight to lock
picking so I didn't see any of her other talents.
And now I know
lock picking just as well as she did. I'm surprised at her ability. I
don't need to refresh. I don't need to “get used” to the talent.
I could walk up to a locked door right now and pick it with the same
ability she had. The waking dream is when I learned the talent. And
being a waking dream what would have taken her maybe years to master
ran through my brain in seconds. I pulled my teeth out.
“Wow that
feels weird. But not too painful...” She looked at her arm. “I
should covered these bite marks up! She looked at her limp arm and
put pressure on them with two fingers from her good arm after putting
down the aluminum suitcase.
I then told
her, “The toxin also relieves a pain a little. The process wants to
make sure the target doesn't move too much. The weird feeling will go
away.”
She gasped.
“It's true. I can't remember anything about picking locks at all!
No matter how hard I try!”
I frowned.
“I'm sorry. But there's no way I can give it back.”
She then said,
“No, no, that's not what I meant! I'm just shocked at the
blankness. I'm fine with it, really. I'm glad I gave it to you. I
really hope it helps you sometime in the future. I think you'll use
it for better things then I did!” She laughed.
I smiled. “Well
in a few days we'll be at the Diox Cross. Maybe even two if nothing
goes wrong.” I stretched my arms. I loved sunset. No need for an
umbrella. We were going to be at the Diox Cross soon. Everything was
going well.
“Are you
Count Edward Genocide?” I heard a voice say.
Does the
Universe hate me or something? I hate that name. It's always, always bad news.
“No....” I
turned around to see a tall, old
man, clean shaven, save for a long, white mustache, and clad in black
from head to foot, without a single speck of color about him
anywhere. He looked
exactly like everyone said he would did. I knew exactly who that man
was.
The
man glared at me and said, “Funny. You look exactly like all the
descriptions Count Genocide.” He looked angry yet somehow
sophisticated and collected at the same time. “I'm not the kind of
man you want to lie to Count Genocide.”
My
knees shook. “You can't be...are you the legendary Count Dracula?”
The
man replied, “Yes. Yes I am.”
Jennifer
then looked at me. “Count Dracula? Isn't he that famous vampire
that people talk about? Like he's the reason that other vampires call
themselves Count? I mean that's where I came up with our name...dunno
what could be so special about him though.”
“Jennifer.”
I looked at her with the most serious expression I could. I needed to
make sure that she didn't joke around this time. “He's the most
powerful vampire of them all. He's said to be the vampire with a
million talents. He can travel between worlds. I don't mean like that
a metaphor or like he moves across the world easily. He can travel
dimensions. He's been to other realities. Most people don't even
think he exists. I didn't even think he existed. He doesn't age. When
you kill him he comes back to life. He's practically a god.”
Dracula
smiled, showing both his fangs. “Thank you for that rather flattering
introduction. I do travel worlds.” Dracula shrugged his shoulders.
“Ran into a lot of trouble on a place called Earth more than a
hundred years back. You sound awfully worried for a powerful vampire
such as yourself Count Genocide.”
“What?”
I scratched my head.
Dracula
laughed. “Of course. Not only are you educating the ignorant human,
you want to make sure the human doesn't take me lightly.” Dracula
looked at the horizon. “Sunset is ending. I may have stolen night
vision from bats but I would hate to fight in the dark. Despite
rumors I never did like the night. It's only because of my
vulnerability to the sunlight just like you.” He then snapped his fingers and a
blue ring of fire surrounded the area. “Now you cannot escape and
we can see just fine.”
“Escape?
Fight? What? Why?” I tried to gather my thoughts. Why does everyone
want me dead?
Dracula
smiled. “It's a simple matter of honor Count Genocide. The
Vampiremurderkill family has been a thorn in my side for a very,
very, very long amount of time. Tom Vampiremurderkill being one of
the largest problems of them all. He has stopped my plans many times
and yet you, a vampire from nowhere, just comes out and defeats him.
In order to regain my honor I have to kill you.”
“Crud...”
was really all I could say. Dracula rushed me. He was fast. Very
fast. Just like my uncle who stole the speed of a cheetah. Dracula
must have done the same. But didn't lose an arm. He was probably less drunk when he tried it. I side-stepped and
elbowed Dracula in the back. It was a reflex. This reflex was a
talent that I had stolen from Tom Vampiremurderkill to make sure he
couldn't hunt vampires anymore. I had to take away his ability to
fight hand to hand after all. I really wish I had just let him hit me
to show him I wasn't that strong. But the talent was a reflex. He
must have used it against Dracula before.
“You stole
his fighting talents?” Dracula laughed. “You did steal everything just as he said. However that
means I can't hold back. Allow me to show you a talent I really
love.” Dracula's eyes began to glow. I didn't quite know what he was doing. Jennifer then ran in and pushed me to the ground. Dracula shot
lasers from his eyes.
“I don't
believe it but he actually got that one somehow,” she said. “Can
he travel into comic books?” I'm glad Jennifer caught on. I should
have.
“I stole that talent from a dapper young fellow in tights. Stole my
regenerative powers from one of his friends. Very angry fellow. That
was another Earth. There are multiple versions of worlds. Sometimes
with only a fraction of a difference. But they really are different
people with their own souls even if they are variations. There's probably another version of
those fellows still running around with their powers still fighting crime or whatever.
There tend to be a lot more tangents of worlds with superpowers than
mundane ones. Fun fact: Visions of other worlds appear in the minds
of people. Though the majority of ideas are their own. I wouldn't be surprised if someone had a vision of me in a version of a world at some point and wrote it down in a story or two. Happens with many worlds. Another fun fact: Worlds share properties. Why Earth shares this very language with us. But they call it English instead and there are a few different words here and there. Wow, I really am rambling, sorry about that. Many gentlemen such as myself tend to babble.”
Both of us
scrambled to our feet.
“I give
up...” I told him.
Dracula then said, “Don't insult me, I won't lower my guard.” His eyes then lit up. I looked at Jennifer. I hoped
she wouldn't miss me. Honestly even if I dodged this one he'd keep
going until I lost. I then remembered one thing about Dracula. And
one thing about the sandwich from the checkpoint.
“Jennifer!
Throw the sandwich right at his face! Don't think about it just do
it!” I pointed right at Dracula and Jennifer followed my order. I
think she had done so many odd things herself anything made sense to
her.
“Oh for the
love of!” Dracula started howling in pain as soon as the bread from
the sandwich hit him. All its seasoning fell all over him Crumbs from
it fell on his hand. He swelled up like the sunlight had hit him but
worse. He held his face and screamed.
I breathed a
sigh of relief. “Yes! The rumors were right! You are deathly
allergic to garlic!” And for once I was lucky in this insane trip.
Lucky that Jennifer had a taste for garlic bread sandwiches.
Dracula fell to
the ground. “Now what are you going to do to me? Finish me off with
your fire breath or your ancient martial arts?”
“What?” I
looked at him. “I can't do any of that.”
Dracula then
responded, still writhing in garlic induced pain, “But Tom told me
the entire tale of how he was defeated by you. I recently went to him
in a bid to finish him in another battle. I decided not to since his
powers were gone and there was no satisfaction in that. Which is why
I went after you. You have to have had all that to have beaten him
where I had failed. After all without amazing powers how did you
fight back against hails of bullets or his own fighting powers that
you now possess?”
Jennifer
laughed. “No. We just sucker punched him.”
Dracula pulled
his hands away from his face and looked at Jennifer. “What do you
mean?” His voice sounded sad and curious at the same time.
She smiled. “We
were both pretty pathetic really. I first played the part of a timid girl. He
then lowered his guard and I smacked him with that suitcase there. BAM! When he
was out we took his weapons. Next thing he knew he had his own
shotgun pointed at him.”
Dracula
laughed. And kept laughing. “He's that much of an idiot? I wasn't
years getting shot and blasted to pieces by that man, reincarnating
and regenerating, when all I had to do was pull a stupid trick like
that?” Dracula's laughter started to get a little crazy. “I...I
need to go home now. Need to let this sink in.” Dracula transformed
into a bat and the blue fire he summoned to light up our fight
vanished. He flew off.
“That
was...weird.” I watched him. I wasn't sure exactly where someone
would get a talent like that. What kinds of worlds has Dracula
traveled to? Perhaps it would be better for me not to know.
Jennifer
chuckled. “Eh. The aftermath of plan #98 was much weirder. Like the
others it didn't succeed in the end. But it really didn't get weird
until I finally managed to get those stupid horses off
the armored truck half full of mayonnaise. And the supermodels inside
wouldn't stop playing in the mayonnaise. I told them they had to
wait. If everyone did
what they were supposed to it could have worked and the payoff would
have been ten times what was in this suitcase. If only we had managed
to get to the church...”
“Jennifer.”
I put my hand on her shoulder. “I'm not in the mood. I almost got
murdered. Again. Could we just walk to the next checkpoint? Please?”
She
then said to me in a slightly sad tone, “Why do I get the
feeling you're not taking me seriously?”
Tomorrow:
Vampiric Talents Episode 5: Cordell Meets The Full Moon
Author
Comment: The description of Dracula was not actually written by
me. It's the original description of Dracula from the original
Dracula novel. The only things I did was change some of the British
spellings of words to American spellings to make sure that you
readers wouldn't trip up on the fact that I changed the spelling
style. I also added commas to conform to how I punctuate. (At least
when I don't mess up!) Bonus points to anyone who caught that before
reading this comment!
Here is the
original description without any of my changes.
a tall old
man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad in black
from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him
anywhere
This work is
copyright Langdon Kennedy you may share this(email it, print it, post
it on your own website, broadcast it etc.) work unaltered as long as
you credit me as the author and share a link to this blog with it and
it is not for profit. If you have any questions and/or are unclear of
these conditions email me at llkenne1@asu.edu
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