“Don't put all
your eggs in one basket!”
The Easter
Bunny*
As planned CJ
and I Pokemon battled and discussed my book over the weekend. He
really went deep into my concept of my book. Very helpful but also
put me into deep thought. More to contemplate.
As for the
Pokemon battling...now that we are older our battles are much more
complicated than when were young. When we were young it was mostly
“Attack attack attack”(as was nigh everyone else) But now the
games become us adults playing against each other with our much
superior brain powers trying to predict each other making it...
“I know that
you know that I know that you know...”
Yeah, kinda
like that.
Anyway onto the
flash fiction!
A Quick
Human Comedian's Guide on How Not to Offend Robots
Touring the
2075 comedy circuit can be rough. Especially when your dealing with
all your robot audiences and your a human fresh to those crowds.
Circuits on the circuit can have very different sense of humor.
Sentient robot brains are very similar to humans, but there are a few
key things you must consider, usually touchy subjects. They'll
forgive you for most things, but there are some things just in bad
taste for them. Here's a quick guide for new comedians dealing with
robot crowds.
One: Don't joke
about the weather. You think it'd be a tiny thing, but for robots the
weather is a big problem. Rain without protection would be rusting.
Imagine if something like rusting happened on a human! See why they
don't like it? Never talk about the weather.
Two: Don't talk
about mechanical sentience before robo-brains were made in a social
sense. Really avoid it all costs. You're a comedian. I use the term
sentient robot, but that term is fairly politically incorrect in this
time, and I did this on purpose to bring this up. If I said sentient
robot some of the machines would toss me right out of the club. You
say WB, wired brain. We avoid calling robots robots in front of
sentient robots now for a reason right? We call them controlled
tools. They're sentient now. Treat them that way. Don't talk about
the days when all machines were just tools.
Three: Do not
talk about smelling, touching or tasting things. Most wired brains
are in bodies that are made for seeing and hearing only because they
have to devote so much effort to other tasks. Talk about any other
sensory human experiences and they will get mad, out of jealousy, or
even feeling your bragging. It's like saying “ha ha you can't
taste!” to them.
Four: Be very
careful how you talk about family. Wired brains build children, based
on mixing properties of their loved ones, but they can't make
lineages or ancestries like us. They won't have the same family
identity.
If you haven't figured it out, there are many things the machines don't have
that we do. This guide could go on almost forever just listing all the
things that you could avoid because of that fact. And that is wired brains, no matter how
little or much they voice it, do not have many of things we
biological beings do. So avoid talking about those things and you
won't offend them.
And one thing I
found out through sheer trial and error through my 20 years as a
comedian is that you never, ever joke about techno around a machine.
They hate techno. Joking about the robot stereotype that they
like techno will get you a metal fist to the face.
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