“Up, up and
away!”
Charlie
Sheen*
Fun fact for
you all. Thomas Jefferson(For those of you unfamiliar with American
history, he's one of the Presidents from way back when and one of the
people who founded the country) created his own Bible. Well really he
cut portions out of it with a razor and put it into one text. So he
didn't actually “write” anything. He titled it The Life And
Morals of Jesus of Nazareth. He cuts out parts from the New Testament
from Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John(in order from my understanding, I
have not gotten a chance to verify that myself. I've only read a few
articles on the Bible. I'm posting a summary of what I've learning
from the various articles I've read.) and he cut out references to
Jesus being divine. Like he included Jesus being buried but not being
resurrected for example. It seems he was Christian but didn't believe
in Jesus's miracles, though I remember reading that the text said he
was the Son of God and such. But Jefferson's “Bible” Jesus never
performed any miracles for example.
He never
actually referred to it as a Bible, and he also didn't show it to
many people I read. Probably shows it was just a personal project.
Apparently he said it was for “use by the Indians”. Considering
he didn't actually publish The Life And Morals of Jesus of Nazareth
in any quantity for them, it's my personal theory he actually did
this as an excuse to be able to edit the Bible without being labeled
blasphemous. (Which of course back then was quite, quite dangerous.
You think its bad now to be labeled blasphemous...ooohh boy.)
Here you can
read The Life And
Morals of Jesus of Nazareth(The Thomas Jefferson “Bible”) digitally:
On a side note
it's also preserved at the Smithsonian National Museum of American
History
Anyway onto the
flash fiction!
The Great
Train of Thought Robbery
If the psychic
police could fully synchronize their thoughts with the great Psychic
Phantom Thief they could get a lock on his identity and finally catch
him. The mind he had put himself in this time, the one of the 60th
President of the United States, would be the last one he was ever
going to travel in illegally. No more abuse of psychic technology to
steal information for his own profit. He would be going to prison for
a very long time.
This psychic
duel had simple rules. They would leap from thought to thought in
their own trains of thought. They would know each others thoughts and
synchronization would occur when their next thought is the same. So
if the police lead him to think at least the same thought as even one
of them they would be victorious. Being in the same mind they would
know each others trains of thoughts and thus remember them and be
influenced by them as well as there own. The Psychic Phantom Thief
couldn't just think random thoughts or make massive leaps in
thinking. A logical train of thought must be maintained or his
consciousness would drop out of the President's mind and he had yet
to retrieve the information he wanted. The same rule applied to the
psychic police. But there was another catch to this all that left the
psychic police to a special disadvantage. The thief has an illegal
psychic machine, altered to be much more powerful than theirs. If he
could flee them long enough they would drop out and he could get the
information he wanted from the President.
Here are the
trains of thought of the Psychic Phantom Thief and the three officers
that faced him that day. Right at the moment they were in the center
of the President's mind:
Thief Jacob Sarah Jessica
Mountain Cat Forest Machine
Geology Animal Nature Metal
Earth Habitat Life Minerals
Earth
Day Unity Mother Ground
Hippies Commune Mother
Earth Fossil Fuels
Long
Hair Family Father Time Environmentalism
Rockers Woman Age Preservation
Celebrities Groupie Nostalgia Classic
Stars Fan Past Actor
Heat Heat Universe Stage
At the final moment, the thought heat synchronized the mind of the officer and the thief.
When people
heard about the fact that the Psychic Phantom Thief many people were
actually furious. People had become entertained and enchanted by all
his escapades. People wouldn't admit it but having him around was fun
in a way. He always made the news with elaborate tales of what he'd
stolen and how. The tales of his information robberies were better
than anything they could read or watch on TV. Better than they could
dream.
But when they
heard he slipped up so easily and was caught by such a simple train
of thought. Synchronized to so easily they thought it was dumb luck
on the three officers part. He had battled against so many more
officers that were so much more experienced. But the officers were
awarded medals nonetheless for their capturing of the Psychic Phantom
Thief.
However it
wasn't luck at all. And they learned that as soon as they found out
what information he had stolen. He demanded that they didn't tell
anyone what the information was. He wanted to go down as being
captured unwillingly so people would think he wasn't so untouchable
and wouldn't go after him to either pay him or force him to do more
work and steal more sensitive information from important people for
vile ends like he had been doing before.
The information
that the Psychic Phantom Thief had stolen was just the Presidents
birthday. All information retrieved psychically was a copy so the
President didn't forget or anything so he wouldn't know what was
taken... but he stole the birthday so that when he was captured the
information couldn't be used for anything. If he took something of
value than it could be abused by whoever took him. When asked, the
officer, by final request of the Psychic Phantom Thief, lied and said
to his superiors that the thief had stolen some numbers he couldn't
understand or remember. Assuming it was something extremely important
like coordinates they told the officer to never speak of it to anyone
ever again and Psychic Phantom Thief disappeared into prison, history
and thief tales that are made into movie adaptations whenever
Hollywood needs a quick buck.
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