“And you can
quote me on that one.”
The Raven*
Today's story
is a special one. I decided to write a random story today. So this
story is improvisational with some words in it created by a random
noun generator I found on the Internet. So during several parts I had
no idea what was going to happen next. The randomly generated words
are in italics.
The Vortex
Surprise Show
Steve Wandgone
was a simple wizard down on his luck. He needed some quick cash and a
game show was a way to get it. When he was selected he felt happier
than he ever had in years. He thought that there were a lot more
contestants than there actually were. Not many people had the guts to
sign up for The Vortex Surprise Show.
He already
stood in the massive, cavernous room that The Vortex Surprise Show's
main part took place in. He had no competition. The host spoke to him
through speakers. He got money based on how long he stayed in there
without going to towards the exit or dying. The money would be sent
to his inheritors. He signed all the paperwork. People have died on
the show before and the studio didn't have a problem. In the wizard
world the laws worked like that, sign enough paperwork and anything
was fine. People signed magical deals with demons after all. This
show wasn't as bad as a some of their contracts.
How could such
a show be dangerous enough that people died? That the prize was based
on how long you lasted? In the room vortexes opened and would unleash
totally random objects into the room. Unpredictable to even the
producers of the show. And whatever it was the person had to deal
with it. At least the wizards were allowed their wands to defend
themselves.
The host
explained the rules to the audience and it was projected over the
speakers in the room to Steve. It served as a reminder what he had
gotten himself into. But he needed the money badly. The stroke of bad
luck got him in debt to all the wrong kinds of people.
“Okay
contestant! Enjoy your Vortex Surprises!” The host yelled. That was
the last thing he yelled to contestants. Everything else that would
be said during the show was edited in later as commentary
post-written by the producers.
Steve began to
sweat. He looked at his wand. It looked fine but his hands had gotten
pale in fear. He was glad that he wore his street clothes of jeans
and a simple red t-shirt instead of wizard robes since that may allow
him to run faster. A vortex opened and its powerful light shined into
his black eyes. Yet, nothing happened. He scratched his brown hair in
confusion.
Then, doodled
on a piece of paper, came Capricorn,
the tenth astrological sign. Steve watched The Vortex Surprise Show
before. But an abstract concept emerging from the vortex was pretty
strange, even if it was written on a piece of paper. It does show
that anything can come out.
Before
he could give much more thought to this a tablecloth
along with America
emerged from the vortex. But this was a miniature America
from an alternate universe where everything was smaller. The vortex
would only summon things that would fit into the room. America
was transported into the room on the tablecloth
that was pulled from a normal sized universe. Steve calmed down. None
of these objects proved threatening so far. He wasn't sure what to do
with the America.Or
how the studio would dispose of it later.
The
vortex then widened to allow a ferry
to launch through it. It flew like a missle and Steve barely managed
to jump out of the way in time to avoid being crushed. It's wooden
bottom broke to pieces on the hard, metal floor of the Vortex Room. A
floor especially designed to make sure that whatever came out stayed
with the contestants and didn't leave. The ferry came from the
mundane world, the 19th
century era. The place being England and it was full of British
people who were just minding their own business.
Out of the vortex next came doubt. In
the form of psychic waves. It made Steve doubt
he was going to live, it made the British people doubt
they were in Britain, and it made all the tiny people in the tiny
America on the
tablecloth doubt
that their satellite TV wasn't working because of bad weather. They
started to think maybe something weird had happened.
Steve
got a break as the next thing to come out was a slip of
paper.
But
next came out a person who walked up to Steve and said, “Hi, my
name is Brian.”
Steve didn't like this. On the Vortex Surprise Show people could be
bad news. He thought of the British people but this man just walked
up and introduced himself after being dragged through a vortex. How
could he go through such an experience unphased? Just who is this
man? What are is motives? Is he a powerful wizard? Who is Brian?
Pop!
A cymbal and pike
then fell out of the vortex.
Brian then picked them up.
“Good.
Weapons. Now I can kill you and take your soul. For I am a Wizard
Hunter from the Dark Dimension!”
Suddenly
Uganda came from the
vortex. This also from a miniature universe. But one not as miniature
as the one the America came from. Uganda was
flung out of the vortex as a landmass and fell on Brian
squishing him. To add insult to injury the vortex then shot out a
grape on top.
Steve
wished he was allowed some sort of clock in the room. Had enough time
elapsed to get him out of his debt with the dangerous people? What
would he do? If he wasn't so panicked he could have asked the
confused British people on the
ferry for
a watch. The next item to come out of the vortex was a chunk of
lyocell in a neat
little sheet. A clarinet
soon followed.
It
took a moment for Steve to follow the next train of logic. Next what
came out of the vortex was a trip.
Which is why next the room suddenly transformed into a simulated
version of Hawaii. It filled with sand, trees and everything. And in
the middle of the Hawaii the vortex spat out was a hyacinth
plant it spat out as well. Steve didn't realize it but the British
people succumbed to a vortex influence. It send out another psychic
wave, creating trade and
a ferry society had
been born as they assumed a sort of tribal mentality.
Steve
looked around confused then felt a massive pain in his back. A hammer
had flown out of the vortex. He dropped his wand. He saw where it was
and went to grab it. But then one of the British people took it and
ran off to the ferry.
It became part of the trade and
difficult to find. And when he tried to get it back the British
person who traded for it considered it his property. The ferry
people already formed a pack and he couldn't get his wand back. He
was thrown out.
Steve
found something to get his wand back with. Lasagna
came out of the vortex. He was ready to get it back. Food would be
more valuable then some stick that they couldn't use. But to his
surprise the ferry
people just beat him up and took the lasagna
from him.
Next
what came out of the vortex was a test.
From Mr. Smith's 3rd
period 6th
grade science class. From the grade it looks like Susie didn't study
much. Steve pitied the poor girl and hoped she would get her grades
up.
Venezuela
shot out of the vortex next. From another miniature universe. Not as
miniature as the one as the first America
universe but more miniature than the one where Uganda
came from. Here Venezuela
was the size of a large pizza. It spun out of vortex with frightening
speed and hit Steve in the legs. He fell over, confident one of his
legs was broken. He knew he had to get to the exit before something
more dangerous came out of the vortex.
He
hoped he stayed in the room long enough to get the money he needed to
pay off his debts. He started crawling towards the door to exit the
Vortex Room. From watching the show he knew that when a contestant
headed for the exit the producers forced the vortex to spit out even
more objects to up the drama.
So
all at once out came lettuce,
a theory jotted down
on paper, a mosquito,
a bit of gold, a
flare, a condor, a
blob of custard, a
face preserved in a
jar, and a caravan
full of antelopes.
Some of the items weren't dangerous but the condor
and face scared the
antelopes into a
stampede. The stampede rumbled through the vortex room. It even went
to the ferry and
killed all the British people.
Steve
managed to escape the room. He did well. He lasted longer than most
in the vortex room. He managed to get enough money to pay off his
debts, so he didn't need to worry about them. Money for his medical
bills though was another matter.
