“Second star to the right and straight on till morning.”
CJ might coming over tomorrow. Or the mole people might finally stop stealing our wi-fi. Or both might hopefully happen. Anyway onto the flash fiction!
Daniel The Demon
Daniel the demon took pride in his work. He tricked mortals into signing over their souls for sometimes the littlest of things. Wealth, power, immortality. Twist the way they ask for it and the deal can be filled with barely any effort. A man asked Daniel to be more powerful than The President Of The United States. Daniel flicked his barbed tail with a fanged grin and turned the man into a battery. Genies would be jealous of Daniel's craftiness.
While lounging around in the Underworld watching TV another demon appeared in front of Daniel. The demon that rudely interrupted So You Think You Can Torture? wore the green business suit that practically was uniform for soul dealers like Daniel. Right now Daniel didn't wear his suit, just pajamas with skulls on them. Both demons shared the same snake-like scales.
“Whatever your heart's desire is, I can fulfill it,” the intruder spoke with the lines straight out of the manual for starter soul contractors. Daniel learned these lines on his first day. He soon discarded them as he understood humans better.
Daniel then asked, “Okay, who are you? Demons don't ask other demons for their souls. That's not how it works.”
“My name is John,” the demon replied. Well, despite the fact demons usually lied, Daniel knew that must at least be his name since in the end a demon must sign with at least part of their real name on the soul contract. With that kind of curl in his horns the demon didn't look like a John, more like a Bob. “And Daniel you are eligible to get whatever you desire, since you are half human.”
Daniel then replied, “Liar, the only thing that has to be the truth is whatever you put in the final soul contract. You've got to come up with something more believable than that.”
John then said, “Alright, upper management wants to downsize and get the power of demon souls at the same time. They worked real hard to get a soul contract to take demon souls to work.”
“I'll show them,” Daniel smirked and then demanded John give him the contract paper. He wrote up the contract himself since he figured that John knew nothing but what the manual told him. “Now sign it, and you'll be getting my soul.”
John signed the contract. Daniel had an elaborate, contract written out in the best of magical legalese which gave up his soul then returned it directly back to him in exchange for his desires. The exact way it made sense would take about 3 underworld law degrees to understand. He figured something this complicated would be above someone who learned from the soul contract manual.
Daniel would have won the day with his years of experience, however his contract fell apart in many key places and his soul remained with the demons and not in his possession because he missed something important. He was truly half human and that ruined the wording of the contract. John was a more experienced soul contractor than he let on, and knew that Daniel would assume that the first thing he said was a lie.
Taking advantage of people's assumptions was something covered in the soul contractor manual.