“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”
When you pay the piper are there coupons? Anyway onto the flash fiction!
Warren belonged to perhaps the lamest of supernatural creatures, the waterpire. Sorcerers charting out the evolution of magical curses traced his being's line to that of the vampire, but the waterpire was far less intimidating. A creature cursed to wander the day and drink only water for sustenance, milk and beer could sicken or evil kill a waterpire. Moonlight burned the the waterpires and the creatures could be killed by being hit by a cooked steak.
A waterpire passed Warren on his curse by pinching him, the way all waterpires make more waterpires since they cannot breed with each other or humans. This happened back in 1820 on one rainy England afternoon and he's lived up to the current digital age. He went from wearing fashionable English clothes to wearing the cheapest things he could buy.
The creatures of the night mocked him at the times they met when twilight struck. But when the modern day came Warren decided to walk up to Dracula and some other vampire royalty while holding some bottled water and a cellphone. He hung it up in front of Dracula and smiled, this century gave the waterpire the comforts he needed for constant, clean water and a beautiful life in the day.
“Oh, Dracula I was talking to my girlfriend. See, we waterpires can have those when we don't have to feed on people while running from a bunch of secret societies of monster hunters. Have fun with the next guy who tries to kill you.” Warren walked off, knowing very well that Dracula, despite all of his incredible powers, didn't have any cooked steak on him so he couldn't kill him. Dracula could beat him up, but then Dracula would be just showing the other vampire royalty how right he was. Warren loved the modern era.