“A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away...”
A Game of Thrones* #quote
What's black and white and dizzy all over? A penguin rolling down a hill! Anyway onto the flash fiction!
The Ultimate Mystery
In my work doing homicide I've dealt with a great deal of crimes. However the crime I dealt with today happened in my station. It was personal. Someone stole my lunch from the break room fridge. Who's had the guts to steal from me, a senior officer? I spent a great deal of time going to the gym and shaved my head to create a tough guy persona just so this kind of crap wouldn't happen to me. I was going to find out who did this to me.
Four people had access to the break room between the time went to the bathroom and my lunch vanished. The first would be our crafty captain. A clever woman with the philosophy of it's better to ask for forgiveness than for permission. I'd swear she got that position using a combination of her wit, dedication and that philosophy. Her ability to switch between tough and sweet helped her greatly. The biggest evidence for her was that she probably assumed that if she was caught she could just talk her way out of it.
The second was our computer guy. A jolly fellow with a few mood swings to nasty remarks when it suited him. He brought his own lunchbox since he ate meals large enough they would crowd the break room fridge. I wouldn't be surprised that if he felt like it would take someone's lunch to get even more food. If that was true that'd be exceptionally vile since I noticed his box was closed so he hadn't even started eating his.
Third suspect I felt to be unlikely due to his lack of guts. A new officer who preferred to avoid danger and patrol the safest neighborhoods possible I doubt he'd steal any lunches. That, and I noticed that he was eating his lunch right now, a massive sub sandwich despite the small size of his body.
The last suspect was another officer. A strange man I could never get a read on. He passed examinations very well and just by looking into his passive-agressive-loony gaze criminals confessed. The man possessed an awkward air around him with no malice about it. Right now he held some crackers and snacked on them. When I locked eyes with him he stopped eating for a second. I remembered he ate these small snacks through the day and always carried bottled water as well. Oddly enough with this habit he wasn't extraordinarily skinny so he must have some method to his madness. Perhaps it involved stealing lunches?
I couldn't ask forensics to use any of their tools to analyze the crime scene so I had to use logic and try to find some sort of conclusion from what little I could assume at the time. Who, who dared steal my lunch? With some thought I managed to secure a culprit in my mind.
I approached our computer guy, “You forgot your lunch so you stole mine?”
“I'm sorry!” He responded. I realized that when I looked at him I saw his lunchbox, however it was closed. I only assumed that he hadn't started eating, when in fact he forgot to pack it in the first place and just carried an empty lunch box to work. I found my culprit, and fortunately for him, held my temper back.