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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Today's #flashfiction #BigSantaIsWatchingYou

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.”
Lex Luthor* #quote


      Got a blood test today(monitors whether one of my medications are messing with me.) Yeah the blood didn't come out into the vial quickly(well vials, had to take two). I've been to the hospital several times so I'm used to the needles and already took several of these tests so I'm used to it. Though I talked to the person. I think the fact I had a smoothie before the test and drink a lot of milk may have contributed to it. Eh, whatever. The smoothie was delicious. Anyway onto the flash fiction!




Big Santa Is Watching You


        So how does Santa know if you've been bad or good? Truth is that Santa does not just learn him self. See the Nice and Naughty list is provided for him by one of his Elf Divisions. People normally think that Santa's elves only work on toys. That is false. He has them working on multiple Christmas related activities year round in different divisions beyond just the Toy Division. And one of those divisions is the Intelligence Division. These elves work all around world to gather data on all the children to determine if they have been naughty or nice. They are the ones that provide Santa with his list.
       These elves work as various spies and agents around the world much like our government agents. They plant cameras and agents to observe children and spy on Internet data including social network sites and like. The advent of technology has greatly reduced the Intelligence division's need of magic allowing them to divert the magic to other divisions including the Disbelief Division and Shopping Division. Those Divisions control the perceptions of adults around the world to believe that things such as Black Friday exist and that they are purchasing all those gifts for their children, when in truth they are trapped in a time vortex temporarily. The boxes are filled with fake presents until Santa completes his task. Santa wants Christmas to run as he wants it to so he manipulates the world that way.
     The Intelligence Division usually knows whether or not your asleep or your awake by microscopic robot heart monitors injected into humans at birth. Elf nanobot technology is impossible to spot with current human technology as they are usually made of iron mixed with magic dust and degrade upon the human's death and scans are deceived by the dust. Other elven technology like their hidden cameras, motion detectors and spy suits are protected by the magic dust.
     Though there are not enough elves to individually monitor every child every second of the day, they have massive machines that can. Huge computers that enhance their processors with magic to allow them to filter through daunting amounts of data to find all amounts relevant to a child's morality and allow an elf to make a proper “naughty” or “nice” morality judgment, and possibly degrees, which are represented by font on Santa's list.
      The Intelligence Division elves take pride in their work like all the other elves. And they wait while Santa puts himself in time vortex to check his list twice to make sure he gets all the names right. And its thanks to them that presents are evaluated. Need a little proof? Little Timmy, the elf put the camera in your night light.

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