“I'm
not bad, I'm just drawn that way.”
Lex
Luthor* #quote
Got
a blood test today(monitors whether one of my medications are messing
with me.) Yeah the blood didn't come out into the vial quickly(well
vials, had to take two). I've been to the hospital several times so
I'm used to the needles and already took several of these tests so
I'm used to it. Though I talked to the person. I think the fact I had
a smoothie before the test and drink a lot of milk may have
contributed to it. Eh, whatever. The smoothie was delicious. Anyway
onto the flash fiction!
Big
Santa Is Watching You
So
how does Santa know if you've been bad or good? Truth is that Santa
does not just learn him self. See the Nice and Naughty list is
provided for him by one of his Elf Divisions. People normally think
that Santa's elves only work on toys. That is false. He has them
working on multiple Christmas related activities year round in
different divisions beyond just the Toy Division. And one of those
divisions is the Intelligence Division. These elves work all around
world to gather data on all the children to determine if they have
been naughty or nice. They are the ones that provide Santa with his
list.
These
elves work as various spies and agents around the world much like our
government agents. They plant cameras and agents to observe children
and spy on Internet data including social network sites and like. The
advent of technology has greatly reduced the Intelligence division's
need of magic allowing them to divert the magic to other divisions
including the Disbelief Division and Shopping Division. Those
Divisions control the perceptions of adults around the world to
believe that things such as Black Friday exist and that they are
purchasing all those gifts for their children, when in truth they are
trapped in a time vortex temporarily. The boxes are filled with fake
presents until Santa completes his task. Santa wants Christmas to run
as he wants it to so he manipulates the world that way.
The
Intelligence Division usually knows whether or not your asleep or
your awake by microscopic robot heart monitors injected into humans
at birth. Elf nanobot technology is impossible to spot with current
human technology as they are usually made of iron mixed with magic
dust and degrade upon the human's death and scans are deceived by the
dust. Other elven technology like their hidden cameras, motion
detectors and spy suits are protected by the magic dust.
Though
there are not enough elves to individually monitor every child every
second of the day, they have massive machines that can. Huge
computers that enhance their processors with magic to allow them to
filter through daunting amounts of data to find all amounts relevant
to a child's morality and allow an elf to make a proper “naughty”
or “nice” morality judgment, and possibly degrees, which are
represented by font on Santa's list.
The
Intelligence Division elves take pride in their work like all the
other elves. And they wait while Santa puts himself in time vortex to
check his list twice to make sure he gets all the names right. And
its thanks to them that presents are evaluated. Need a little proof?
Little Timmy, the elf put the camera in your night light.
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