Saturday, August 1, 2015

Today's #flashfiction If My Calculations Are Correct

 “March to the beat of a different drum.”
Ringo Starr* #quote

Today I went to my card game thing, it was much joyous, funtastically funnerific fun. Anyway onto the flash fiction!

If My Calculations Are Correct

         “If my calculations are correct then The Villainous Bee's Hive Lair should be inside this laboratory,” said Doctor Brainstien, the resident psychic and smart-guy of the League of Amazing Super Buddies while pointing to a building on a large map of Cityopolis.
          The Flamester, clad in red spandex clenched his fist. His face turned red as his spandex though no one could see it through the full body suit. He nearly activated his powers out of fury. “Okay, stop. You always say. All you 'smart-guys' say it. What does 'if my calculations are correct' even mean? What calculations? What math are you doing? I think you all are just making your guessing sound more legitimate.”
          The Flamester did point out the truth. All logic guys, brainiacs and the like on heroic teams say “if my calculations are correct”. Any lead smart guy or gal on a team does it. The Flamester caught the lie like a reporter catching a politician. People usually do two things when caught in this situation. Admit it and move along, or make stuff up to save face. Doctor Brainstien fell into the latter category.
          “Oh, Flamester of course there are calculations. You just don't understand them.” He used his psychic powers to bring over a chalkboard and all its chalk from the other side of the room. The Doctor started scribbling as much high math as he could as he “explained” it to the League of Amazing Super Buddies.
         The Flamester walked over to the chalkboard gave it a quick look over and said, “This doesn't make any sense. I'm pretty sure you can't multiply 'e equals mc squared' and 'trajectory'. Just how dumb do you think we are?”
         Doctor Brainstien replied, “Uhh...” The room filled with awkward silence. “Can we just go after The Villainous Bee now?”

         They never spoke of the situation again, though in a few weeks Victorygal would assume that everyone knew everything about martial arts and would proven quite incorrect.   

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