Today's #flashfiction #WhenYouCantGetAWifeYouCanGetATable

“Respect people's privacy.”

Harvey Robert Levin*

Today I had a significant epiphany about life. And I'm not telling you what it is.

When You Can't Get A Wife, You Can Get A Table

         John was a stunning bachelor. He thought he could probably even get on that show involving being an attractive bachelor, if only he could remember the name. He could probably get a girl. Maybe. But his non-committal attitude prevented him from getting a wife. He could however buy a table, it did many of the same things a good wife could.

         When you need help they can hold something for you.

         If you're lonely they'll always be there for you.

        You can bring them on vacations.

        You can confide all you're secrets in them and they would never tell.

        And you can even sit by them on those romantic moonlit nights.

       John's true love lived just a couple blocks down. They hadn't met yet and when they did they would kick it off and wed. But that was going to be a year from now. But Arianna had the same non-committal attitude that John did so she bought a table. It did many of the same things a good husband could do.

         When you need help they can hold something for you.

         If you're lonely they'll always be there for you.

         You can bring them on vacations.

         You can confide all you're secrets in them and they would never tell.

         And you can even sit by them on those romantic moonlit nights.

John and Arianna's wedding was a beautiful one when they finally did decide to marry. They were perfect for each other. After all with how non-committal(at least relationship wise) they were that's what it would take for them to marry. They were so perfectly matched they even had a similar taste in tables.