“It's all
about the bling.”
Sauron*
#quote
Today I'm going
to be practicing dialogue with a dialogue only flash fiction. I hope
you enjoy!
Minion
Chatter
“So what
exactly does this do?”
“Boss says
this is going to allow him to take him over the world.”
“The boss
says everything he makes is going to allow him to take over the
world. I mean specifically. Look this device we're putting together
has a slot to put in diamonds and another to put in bananas.”
“Oh, right.
Hmm, yeah this one is weirder than most of his devices.”
“So what does
it do?”
“I dunno.”
“What!? You
have the blueprint!”
“Doesn't mean
I know what it does. Don't need to know what it does to put it
together.”
“How?”
“Well, our
mad scientist boss already did all the complicated stuff, we're just
doing the legwork to put it together. Like pegs in furniture. And
duct tape in the spots the boss can't notice.”
“How do you
get away with this?”
“The
superheroes blow his devices up before he gets a chance to turn them
on.”
“Yeah, can't
tell if it's busted if you don't turn it on.”
“Uh-huh.
Never known if I ever built a single one of his crazy inventions
right.”
“What about
all his guard robots, don't you work on those with the other
minions?”
“We buy used
robots from other villains and put the outside of our boss's bots on
top of them. Sell the boss's parts for money. They get blown up by
heroes just as quick so who can tell the difference?”
“Wow. You
have a lot of guts to scam a super villain.”
“Please, do
you know how many of them I scam? Tons. I only work here on weekends
after all. Been in the minion business for a long time. Ditch one
villain go to the next when they get caught, work for multiple guys if I can. I never go
for the big guys who kill their minions for ego no matter the pay.”
“How can you
stay in the minion business for so long? I'm thinking of quitting
just because of the risk.”
“Easy. Don't
wear a mask, but lots of body armor. Heroes won't kill you if you
have a face. With body armor you can get knocked down hard but still get up fine. Key
though is playing possum until the hero leaves. Once their gone
though you can run. Heroes go after running minions but they never go
back for a minion.”
“Huh.”
“I've cleared
out some treasures from super villain lairs. And by doing all I've
told you...well that's how I get richer than the guys who pay me.”
“If you scam
so many people why are you telling me all this?”
“Oh, I'm
feeling like retiring soon and I felt like bragging to a fellow
minion who would really appreciate it.”
“Makes sense.
But all that aside...what does the boss's device do? Banana's and
diamonds? What needs both of those?”
“I've dealt
with so many crazies I normally wouldn't care but because you
mentioned it, it is actually starting to bug me.”
“Any
guesses?”
“Nope. Oh, hey, for
once the nutty villain actually put some footnotes on the blueprint.
Lemme see...ah! Apparently it uses the diamond to refract the light
pattern from the bananas to hypnotize monkeys into slaves. Makes more
sense than last weeks machine that attempted to weaponize smooth
jazz.”
“I liked that
one.”
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