“I don't have
time for this.”
Dorian Grey
Today I went to
my writer's club. Fun as per usual. Also busted crime in my superhero
alter ego Langdonman. Another ordinary day. Anyway onto the flash
fiction!
The Ghost
Hunter's Laundry Stain
It would be one
of those days. Those days where I would ask myself: “Harry why did
you become a ghost hunter?” There is a certain pain in ghost
hunting. It's not in fighting ghosts. I enjoy that rush of adventure
and danger. It's not the occasional curse they lay on you. I can
handle getting my face turned inside out. After the first time you
get used to it.
It's the
laundry.
You must be
thinking: What could possibly be the trouble with laundry? Oh ho
ho...have you ever dealt with an ectoplasmic stain? When a ghost
leaves their spirit-fluid or whatever ectoplasm is made of on your
clothes? You can wash it off yourself just fine...but oh boy it never
comes off your clothes. I often throw away clothes since I don't want
to deal with it.
Step one is
getting some occult detergent then getting a powerful wizard to help
you summon a demonic washing machine to clean it in. And see the
thing is that washing machine never fully comes into our plane of
existence so the portal to the netherworld must stay open so usually
you have to deal with some demons that come through. Sometimes you
have to talk with the annoyingly lonely guys but some do go on the
offensive. They're all minor washing machine demons, but still you do
have to whack them with a broom.
And you have to baby-sit the clothes perfectly, taking them out at just the
right time, they'll be ruined if they're left in too long.
Fortunately you don't have to worry about the dryer too much because
angels let you borrow their holy purifying ones easy. After all,
you're a ghost hunter. A fun fact: Their dryers can remove curses
from voodoo dolls.
So much trouble
huh? That's why when I get an ectoplasmic stain I sometimes just toss
the clothes out and I dress casual to my ghost hunting work.
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