“Oh
my God. Do you know what this is? This is a dinosaur egg. The
dinosaurs are breeding....
But Grandpa said all the dinosaurs were girls...
Amphibian DNA...
What's that...?
Well,
on the tour, the film said they used frog DNA to fill in the gene
sequence gaps. They mutated the dinosaur genetic code and blended it
with that of a frog's. Now, some West African frogs have been known
to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex
environment. Malcolm was right. Look. Life found a way.”
Barney and
Friends*
Earlier I was
looking up how blog stats and I ran across something quite
interesting. There is a vastly important difference between the terms
“page view” and “hit”. (For a while I assumed they were
synonymous, a page view on my site was a hit was my thought)
But the words
are not synonyms and advertisers don't care about your hit
count. Hits are when a file is downloaded from your blog, including
pictures on the page like logos and such. My blog is pretty much only
text... but someone with images would get additional hits. My title
is text, but someone with a banner made of images would get
additional hits for every single image making up that banner and one
for the initial page itself. And a guy who has a blog with a billion
micro-pictures of his cat could get that many hits off of one or two
page views!
So that's why
blogger and other things list page views and such and I realized my
error in referring to page views as hits. But I assume that my blog
has less hits than blogs that are visited less often because it isn't
decorated with lots of images or anything.
Anyway onto the
flash fiction!
Working with
Chosen Ones
“Dragon!
You've terrorized this land long enough!” The Chosen One yelled at
me, her armor shining. Armor? She's wearing armor? I hate the armored
Chosen Ones. They're usually the ones that are the most pretentious.
And I knew she was The Chosen One because of her aura. My powers told
me her soul mate, her best friend, her rival and the role of ever
other member in their party.
Based on this
first battle of ours I'd be able to a first assessment of her and her
fellow heroes. If needed, which usually it had to be, I'd “revive”
and fight them again and again. I'm actually immortal and never
really die, but a “yoooouuuu killleeedddd meeeeee” while bursting
into flames is apparently enough to fool them. She wouldn't be the
first Chosen One.
I've trained
more Chosen Ones than I would care to count in thousands of worlds...
and I've visited many worlds over time to train Chosen Ones in
different eras. Immortal remember? After a few generations they
usually need a new one. That's where I come in, using my
shapeshifting powers to become whatever friends or enemies are needed
to whip them into shape.
This girl? I'm
reading her aura and with the knight armor seems she's one of those
powerful warrior girls determined to fill non-traditional gender
roles to show how tough and important she is. Because you know,
becoming a doctor or scientist won't prove her value, she just has to
save the world. And now I have to deal with her. Dealt with a lot of
those kinda Chosen Ones. Now let's see if I'm right. Yup, she's
insisting that she challenges me on her own. Alright time for some
mind reading before battle. Ooohhh it's not something to just fill
non-traditional gender roles she wants to be better than everyone.
And she's the Chosen One? Sometimes the gods stick me with the
biggest idiots. At least she likes her friends... but thinks they're
quite beneath her input wise.
Wow what an
arrogant little girl. I've got a lot of work to do before we have the
slightest chance of her saving the world. She's supposed to go up
against the evil overlord that's starting to invade all the lands.
Well looks like dragon me is going to have to give her a good ol'
whallop until she needs to ask her friends for help and learns some
humility.
I'll spare you the
details. It worked just as planned. She lost a little bit of
arrogance but she's still a work in progress. After a quick
“Yoooouuuu killeeeeddd meeee” and bursting into flame, which of
course they fell for I'm going to appear as some old man send them on
some stupid quest for them to bond and appear again where they have
to do more teamwork and I hope I can get the message through this
girl's thick skull quickly enough.
I'm not the
only spirit created by the gods to train Chosen Ones... but humans
are imperfect and I don't consider it my fault that I can't help save
every world.
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