“I
do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am.”
The Iron
Chef*
Well this
weekend is going to be action packed, I'm having a friend come over
today and then have my main BFF come over the rest of the weekend.
(Wow, my definition of action-packed can be fairly underwhelming at
times...) Anyway, enjoy the flash fiction!
Elven Court
“Angelina...if
you embarrass us you'll be grounded for a month. Understand?” My
father with a stern look.
“Yes Dad.”
I mumbled.
His look became
solemn. “Angelina...I know I normally tell you that you shouldn't
care about what other people think but this is an exception. There's
a reason we've polished your scales. We're going to go appear in
front of our Elvish King. This is very, very important.
I've been training you for a year in etiquette for a reason. I'm
going to give him a proposal for more land for our village. If we
don't look good...he may deny it too us and we'll be in a lot of
trouble. This is bigger than us. Appealing to a King of a different
elvish land couldn't possibly work, this is our only chance. ”
“I
understand Dad.”
Dad,
Mom and I went into the court. There were so many people. We were the
first proposal, which made everything even worse. I didn't have any
examples to go off of besides what Dad told me and my etiquette
teacher. My parents couldn't even be examples...in elvish court
children had to behave different than adults.
The
room went silent. I was so nervous. The king sat in his throne. The
throne had an elegant table with wonderful food on it. The rest of
the court ate at other tables spread throughout the room. Anyone
proposing knelt on the floor in front of the king. The kneeling the
position was awkward and was different for each gender and age group.
“So
what are you requesting of me?” His voice had a dominate tone...but
it wasn't too aggressive. He sat a little slumped but didn't glare.
He stopped eating to speak with us and gave us great attention. I had
mixed feelings...he knows we're commoners right? Shouldn't he be
looking more down upon us?
“Great
King we need more land to farm. We are having difficulty supporting
ourselves with just our current plots of land.” My father lowered
his head but also shot a glare at me. I lowered my head as well. I
had forgotten that after the request I should have done that. My
mother doing it should have been a cue too. I felt so stupid.
The
king sighed. “What land do you desire specifically?”
My
father choked up nervously. “Some of the old hunting grounds. As
the forest had been largely harvested we thought we might clear it
completely and convert it to farmland and hope to plant some crops.”
The
king laughed. “You do realize that those are my personal hunting
grounds? I may give things to my people upon reasonable request but
since those grounds are so deforested I have used them only for my
pleasure. If they only have a few deer...those deer shall be mine.
Though truth be told it is not the hunting that hesitate to give you
your request...I think you might be scamming me.”
My
father began to sweat. “What?” He said to the king while still
keeping his head bowed.
“I
give so many things to my people...an oddity for any king, that
several people have scammed me. Land is the most common. I am still
recovering from my anger from my last scam that I am afraid of
fulfilling your request. I don't want to give a thief the littlest
bit of land. How do I know your not lying?”
I
grew nervous. If the king wouldn't grant our request how would we
feed ourselves? We may last but I would feel hungry with low food and
just wear away. The kneeling position became more awkward. It wasn't
just sitting on your knee. You put your leg over your arm and your
arm is what it the floor. Then your other leg went under that leg
with that your next arm on that one. It's very hard to describe if
you could even imagine what I just said.
I
teetered over and fell. I splayed out on the floor like a dead frog.
The
king smiled. “I think I know how to figure out if your lying. Girl,
describe the situation at your village.”
“A-alright.”
I responded. I looked over at Dad. I expected him to look angry. But
he looked afraid. Very afraid. But he tried to give me a comforting
smile on his fearful expression. “Um, Uncle Sam's Strawberry crop
is doing okay. We've had to stuff our potato crops on as little land
as possible. We tore down a house to get more land because it was
next to a plot. Wheat's the only thing doing well. While everything
else is really cramped.”
The
king smiled. “Now I believe you. A scam artist would have come up
with have come up with a much more eloquent story. At least the last
one did. I suppose with all the court as witnesses the next one will
try to emulate you...ugh...now I won't be able to tell at all.
Anyway, your request will be granted. Now you two get out of those
awkward kneeling positions, I've always thought they looked stupid,
tradition gives us the weirdest customs I say, and let's eat.”
And
so we did enjoy our dinner at the court and got our land. We cleared
the forest and made more farms. Our village prospered and all that.
Though the king did visit and checked that we actually made farms and
checked our stories out. Apparently if we did actually scam him we
would have been executed. How much did the last person scam him for
anyway to make him so angry I wonder?
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