“Garbage in garbage out.”
Oscar the Grouch* #quote
Sorry, for the lack of story yesterday. Just flat couldn't quite get
one out. But on the plus side my friend Jessica is coming over this
Saturday. She hasn't been able to forever because she had to deal
with bed bugs. Egads. Anyway onto the flash fiction!
The New Diplomat
“So you're the new human diplomat? But you're such a short little
thing!” One of the orc nobles said with a large laugh. Five hundred
years ago the orcs were thought of as a savage race but now they
seeked nothing but the highest in elegance and strength. They stood
as massive, green creatures, around seven feet tall, their nobles
always insisted on draping themselves in layers of the finest silks.
And I was now in a room full of those nobles dressed in rainbows of
colorful silk. The jewelery all over their hands showed me the vast
wealth of the orc lands.
“It's in bad taste to mock a human's height,” another orc said
before I could even get a word in. I hadn't even managed to introduce
myself to orcs sitting in the banquet hall. Though really an
introduction was just a formality. They already knew I was coming. I
was a wizard, blue hat and suit to show it. I wore a medal to show my
status as a state representative. Did he insult my height because I
was human? Or still young? I wore blonde hair way longer than even
the orcs usual standard and my eyes were so blue they looked like
they belonged to freshly born child.
The orc that first comment then responded, “I know it's just that
compared to the previous human diplomat he's just so short!”
All the orcs lowered their heads.
A woman orc dressed in pure white robes spoke up, I knew that the
white robes meant she was the one who headed the military. “Rest
that human's soul. I thought humans were a horrible race until I met
him. He's one of the most noble beings I ever met. Every treaty he
ever drafted benefited both our lands immensely. He understood us
all. Not only as a whole people and culture but as individuals. Least
he died peacefully of old age. The story was that he died at sunset.”
The orc that insulted my height then yelled, “And you're his
replacement! You're what we get! How can you replace him?” The
entire orc crowd began to yell at me and I never even spoke to them.
They told me he was like a brother to them, or a father. Several said
that the diplomat saved their lives. Orcs started to get up from the
table. I looked at him. I wasn't sure what to do. They were starting
to form into a mob.
This was my first diplomatic meeting. I got the job because of two
factors. One, I was a wizard. That was a requirement of any diplomat
so that they may defend themselves in foreign lands without
bodyguards if no bodyguards are around and also show some sort of
power to show the humans as a powerful race. Two I was the son of a
high ranking human noble and wanted the job so I could travel and
“make a difference” with us and other lands.
I don't think I knew anything about diplomacy truthfully in
hindsight. I did get this job from a political position as a noble. I
did however understand wizardy. Though I simply couldn't cast a spell
on the orcs. They have several wizards among
their ranks to avoid persuasion spells to calm them down. Don't know what kind of silk dress or jewelry identifies
them. So I need to remember the philosophies given to me by my
teachers. Use the problem solving sets I understand.
“Teacher if there's a spell I don't have a counter spell for what
do I do?” I remember asking my teacher one day.
My teacher laughed. “There is always a counter spell. It's
the opposite force of what you're facing.”
So in response to the mob I went down to the dinner table, began
eating the food they set out for me and said, “This is delicious,
thank you.” They looked at me oddly as I ignored them. Eventually
they just sat down and began eating themselves. I didn't introduce
myself until they asked me my name.
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